成人快手

Seemingly a contestant has been thrown out of Channel 4鈥檚 Big Brother house because she used a racially offensive word to another housemate. Emily Parr admitted later that she should have been more careful with her language.

Following her example I suppose I'd better say sorry to any English people that I might have offended by using a racist term in a recent blog. I hope I haven鈥檛 brought the 成人快手 into disrepute or caused an international incident like that one with Jade Goody and Shilpa Shetty. I don't want this to end up with Alex Salmond having to apologise to Tony Blair on behalf of all Scots (although it would probably smooth all over a bit anyway when Gordon Brown becomes PM).

Seemingly you鈥檙e not allowed to repeat full racist words when you apologise for using them. Mostly you use asterisks instead of some letters. The word I used was s**h. That's a bit difficult to work out. It could be sociopath or swordfish, so another clue is that it began with an s and ended with assenach.

I believe that the protocol now is for fellow bloggers to express shock and disbelief at my behaviour with their own carefully chosen emotional outburst. This might include one or more of the following: screeching, weeping uncontrollably, getting very sweary (which seems to be OK for some reason), stripping naked in the garden or shouting, 鈥淥H!!! (pause) MY!!! (pause) GOD!!!!鈥�.

Hope we've got that sorted out now.

There seems to have been a teensy wee bit of negativity in some sections of IB recently, so I thought I'd try to lighten the tone with some scientifc snippets.

Firstly, I'm sure you'll be interested in Murdo John's highly successful attempts to breed sheep to supply the mop manufacturing sector. He hopes that this will provide a useful alternative source of income for islanders when the Harris Tweed industry dies. He aims to make a killing and clean up.

Here's a snap of one of his flock, Vileda.



Secondly, I found this arresting illustration of climate change in a format that we can all understand.



In the interests of equal opperchancities (and to try to forestall any complaints from tws) this would work just as well if we graded the garments from long johns to posing pouches.

Apologies to mjc but I didn't think that the web was ready for Murdo John's smalls and nor was I. I've looked through the album though and found this lovely snap of Angus demonstrating what Scotsmen wear under their kilts. Hope this is OK for mjc but doesn't frighten the horses.



Just to let you know that I'll be away from the Lone Sheiling for a couple of weeks so I might not be blogging. Chrissie Mary's promised to behave herself and keep out of mischief.

Bye for now. See you soon