成人快手

There's been a lot of talk about food for the festival and I assume that Donald has the cods' heads franchise under control, but no-one's said much about entertainment. Murdo McSween's piano-accordion is hardly going get Simon Cowell on the first flight up here with a contract (unless he and Renee are showbiz mates). A set of dominoes and half a ludo game from the Shiants mightn't be enough Calum. Maybe we could all ask for doms for Christmas and go for a domino-toppling-in-a-fank record? Chrissie Mary made a Lewis-themed variant on Monopoly last year, but our first game was a disaster when she bought up Lochs and put 3 bothans on Leurbost. This year, I've customised an Operation game for her. I've put a picture of Aggie A Morrison's head on the 'patient' so we can get more pleasure from removing her plastic kidney with wee surgical tweezers. Maybe we could have some more traditional games like cromack-throwing or tossing the fish barrel. Something to sort the men from the sheep. Anyway, hope you and Donald will give it some thought.

Ok. I've told you that Agnes Ann Morrison is a cheeky bisom and not to be trusted. Well here's some evidence. She claims that she only needs 2 pinnies a year from JD Williams. Now I'm a great fan of Mr Williams' lavishly illustrated works (Sheep on a Hot Byre Roof was brilliant) and I can tell you that he doen't do pinnies - not for ordinary readers anyway. If you don't believe me go to his website and check. (Just use Google) Secondly, when she was supposed to be visiting her so-called penfriend in Lesmahagow (I ask you. Does that sound likely?), she was in fact on a jolly to Budapest paid for by the European Cultural Fund . Shamelessly trading on her Morrison name and connections, she got paid barn-loads of money to open a 'music pub' near the Opera House. If this isn't evidence, what is?



Sorry if this is off the letter, or whatever you said, Calum, but I had to get it off my chest. Not my shoulder I hope you'll note. Surely all that guff about cappuccinos in the Library should have been enough to arouse suspicion in the first place. Honestly, you bodachs!

I found out where Colin Firth's brother Moray lives!! Seemingly Chrissie Mary's cousin Effie in Ullapool knows his sister-in-law's butcher. It's a pity that he's moving house and changing his phone number as soon as he can, but he agreed to send this lovely picture to support the Festival. Who's got a fried tattie stick on their shoulder now then?



Isn't he a dish? And what style! This certainly beats those shameless sheep.

I've been SOooooo excited since Calum's exclusive from Colin Firth's brother Moray that I've been round Ness looking for likely spots for Colin to emerge from. I'm that thrilled I just can't decide which would be best, but Chrissie Mary and I are favouring the beach at Port of Ness (Photos 1 and 2) at the moment over the lochan by the fank. We quite like the harbour slipway as well (Photo 3) as it would give us a good opportunity to tell Colin about the guga. Would the logistics be too much Calum, or could Donald lay on transport? The other spots, going towards the lighthouse, might be more tricky. It would be bad form to drown a celeb.

Searching in vain for some Lofty Peak recipes, I was comforted by this reassuring website with some of the Lewis recipes that we've all known and loved over the years.

http://www.globalguide.org/scotland/articles/3.html

This should really help the caterers at the fank. You'll see that the recipe for stuffed cods' heads (Ceann Cropic) was much as I'd advised in an earlier blog. Chrissie Mary and I will be knocking up a batch of Brochan Air Sgarbh (Cormorant Brochan) as soon as possible. It's reassuring to note that 'puffins can be cooked in the same way' if we don't strike lucky with our first seabird of choice. Bet the Firth boys can't wait for the Sheep's Head Broth. It's always been a very firm favourite with our family.

The search for Lofty Peak recipes continues. In the meantime, was that a glass of wine of the globalguide page? Surely not. What could be nicer than a nice drop of Cremola Foam with your comorant? (I'll have the Cormorant and Cremola Combo, and supersize that, as we say in the Skigersta Fried Puffin.)

You've sorted out a mystery Calum. The cold must have addled the postie's brain. (I'll no mention the drink.) I got this snap delivered to the Lone Sheiling yesterday. It says, 'Hope I can be of some use' on the back. I thought Christmas had really come as they're braw manly shoulders, but now I realise that it must be part of your parcel from Ohio. Ah well, another disappointment.




Still I can console myself with the other package that arrived. I got the latest edition of the Murray Fankwear Collection inspired by the legendary fashions of yesteryear seen in the haydays of 'Effie Murray, Merchant' in South Dell. Here's the cover as a little teaser of the ensembles on offer.






Callanish Air would do well to kit their hostesses out in uniforms like this. So serviceable AND attractive.