成人快手

Well some people are certainly cashing in on Chrissie Mary鈥檚 current personal difficulties.

Just imagine Calum lining up with Donald, Murdo John and all the other bodachs who bought up Willie鈥檚 stock of disposable cameras from Swainbost Stores and hung around outside our house pretending to be the paparazzi. Tch. The things some people will do to get free food and drink. At first I wasn鈥檛 sure whether the rabble outside our gate was the 30 men allocated to Chrissie M and me to stop us leaving Ness or whether they were reporters from Fios and the Adabrock Enquirer wanting to pap Chrissie M. Anyway I thought I鈥檇 better hedge my bets so I鈥檝e been rushed off my feet taking out trays with big steaming mugs of sheep鈥檚 head broth and plates of marag and mutton pies just in case. I鈥檓 worn out so I am.

Chrissie M is very peaky and definitely not in her usual just now. She needs plenty of peace and quiet to prepare for the Fank. Shearing her hair off and getting a guga tatoo was definitely the last straw. She鈥檒l have to wear her Church Hat till her hair grows back so please try not to stare at her when she鈥檚 taking in the washing with her second best boiler suit and the swanky broad brimmed bonnet she got from Nazirs before they closed down.

She鈥檚 not fit to travel to the Priory Clinic for rehab and can鈥檛 afford it anyway what with her other outgoings just now so she鈥檚 going for a twin centre detox and recovery break based on the Habost Clinic and the Temple at Eoropie. I trust that everyone will respect her privacy and help to make sure that she鈥檚 back on form for the impending dating extravaganza. Especially Calum.

Thought I'd share this handy little recipe hint that's just the job when unexpected visitors drop in or your home is mobbed by paparazzi.

Ingredients:
One marag (black pudding)
Ritz Crackers

Method:
Slice and fry the marag
Dice the fried marag
Butter some Ritz crackers
Arrange marag on buttered crackers


There you have it: "Pudding on the Ritz"

Found this interesting recipe on the web for 'kippers, fried eggs and manifold spam in salad cream'

Today's recipe is one of my own favourites, passed down to me by by my uncle Lachie Hamish just before he died of salmonella last year. (Dont worry, he caught it from a Stornoway marag his brother had for emergencies during the war - nothing to do with me!)

For the meal you'll need a toaster, a Massey Ferguson tractor, a crocan of finest spam, some kippers and few eggs.

First of all run the tracor for at least an hour. Then get a couple of kippers and put them in the toaster (a tip I learnt from my cousin when I stayed in his caravan in Garynamonie). While the kippers are cooking, pour some "3-in-1" oil on the tractor's manifold and put the spam on it. You're actually better to open the tin and slice the spam first but if you don't, you can do both with an axe later.

Once you've done that, crack a couple of eggs, and cook them on the manifold, if there's any room. If not, the engine casing's a good bet as it's usually got some oil on it and the Castrol GTX gives them a nice flavour.

When you think everything is hot enough, take the kippers out of the toaster and put them in a suitable dish. ( My mother brought me back a really posh stainless steel dish from Petsmart when she was in Inverness). Then slice the spam if you haven't already done so, put it between the kippers (like a sandwich) and place the eggs on top of the lot. To finish off, pour a bottle of salad cream into the dish and then tuck in (only use Heinz - I bought a bottle of another make called 'Dulux' and it was tasted awful).

Wash down with a crocan or two of your favourite tipple (I acquired a few crates of some stuff they make from woodpeckers when I was staying with Johnnie Bulmer at Amhuinnsuidhe and it goes well with this dish - its good in the tractor too!).

Agus sin agad e a 'chairdean. That's this weeks cookery lesson over.

Next time I'll be passing on another delightful recipe - sardines with boiled cabbage and beans, as well as some others.

Hope to see you then

Seonaidh.

PS Please attend one of my cookery demonstrations - next one at An Lanntair in Stornway in a few weeks


The link is http://www.amadan.co.uk/issue1.htm

Does anyone know what became of this publication? Did anyone go to a cookery demonstration - and survive? Most importantly will Seonaidh be at the Fank?