成人快手

Seemingly 11 pieces of the Lewis Chess set are normally kept in Edinburgh at the National Museum of Scotland, and another 82 in the British Museum. There's a bit of a fuss now because the Chessmen's King is coming back to the island next year as part of the Highland Year of Culture. Which spoilsport's organised this - just as whitesettler's reminding us all not to be nasty? What's the use of splitting the set and sending us a single piece? Tch. How can anyone have a decent game with that kind of set-up?

Ach well, Chrissie Mary and I can suggest an alternative - Lewis Draughts. This can be played on a big chequered board or a black and white tiled kitchen floor.

First slice and fry some black pudding and white pudding......

I hear that Sir Elton John is visiting Flying Cat鈥檚 franchise at Inverness Caledonian Thistle (that FC gets about) as part of this Highland 2007 cultural festival. What鈥檚 all that about then? First they send us one useless chess piece, then they get some uppity English bodach to sing on a Sunday. Is he visiting as a guest precentor or something? The only way he鈥檚 likely to represent our culture is by warbling his tribute song to the Macleod of Lewis tartan, 鈥楪oodbye Yellow / Black Plaid鈥� or his other party piece, 'Candle in the Windfarm'.

Seemingly these cultural shenanigans need sorting. They need fanksters on the case鈥︹��

Seemingly there鈥檚 talk of a railway llinking Stornoway town centre with the Castle Grounds.

I wonder if they鈥檒l extend the line as far as South Dell to cope with all the hopeful singletons looking for love at the annual dating festival. Can we look forward to Tormod the Fank Engine pulling the Ness Express?

Just got some groceries in a box lined with last week's Scotsman, and found this report under the headline 'Channel 4 abandons 'love in the isles' show'

'Channel Four is shelving a reality show shot in Scotland which tried to find love matches for men in the Western Isles. The hour-long documentary, Love In A Cold Climate, followed three women volunteers brought to the Isle of Lewis. It emerged yesterday that the show, made by Glasgow-based Caledonia TV, will not be broadcast.'

Maybe Calum and Donald should see whether there were any serviceable singletons left over?