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Virtually everyone’s turned up at the fank.

What a day! Chrissie Mary’s very tired and emotional after being with all the crowds. Up till now her idea of a mass gathering was pension day at the Post Office. (‘Tch. It was mobbed Annie’, she’ll say if there’s been more than 2 people in the queue when she’s nipped in to post her order to JD Williams).

To be honest it’s all been a bit much for me. Empty shelves in the shops….,



strange men appearing from the sea in Port of Ness claiming to have lost their wheelie bins (not quite the Colin Firth scenario that I’d dreamt of)…. ,



hundreds of over-excited people with strange accents and no evidence of serviceability as yet….,



and – inevitably – some bisoms with no shame, showing their bare legs brazen as they come…



Day off for us tomorrow of course, but looking forward to my naming & daming ceremony next week.

Just in case you’re wondering what is happening in the Fank Family ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ, I should let you know that we’re not allowed to say too much about it as there’s a possible TV deal in the offing. Having said that, you might have heard that there were some ugly scenes on the first eviction night when locals nominated senior staff at Caledonian Macbrayne and the NHS Western Isles for the boot - even though they weren’t residents in the house.


So far Seonaid the Sheep seems to be performing well, following the trend of the non celeb winner of the last Celebrity Big Brother. I’m told that Seonaid is one of the bookies’ favourites alongside Tom Hanks and Renee Zellwegger. Looking forward to her forthcoming fitness video, chart single and appearances as a guest reporter on TV’s This Morning.


I’m happy to share news about the FF ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ as much as I can within the reporting restrictions, but I hope you’ll understand that I’m more coy about discussing my personal life after the Fank while any relationship is very new. So far I haven’t even seen the MoT certificate for his wee lorry so it’s too soon to tell whether this is love.


Hope everyone got home safely.

Chrissie Mary and I have become increasingly worried that the guga might catch bird flu so we are hoping to organise a humanitarian (gannetarian?) visit to Sula Sgeir taking supplies of Lemsip, blankets, clinical beak masks and tissues for the birds.

We’ve heard that GPs (Guga Paramedics) can earn £250,000 a year. Any advice about planning such a trip would be appreciated.