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16 October 2014

Annie Beag


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New wedding service

Hello again. I haven't had time to catch up on all the blogs that have appeared while I've been away so it might take a wee while to catch up. Hope everyone's well. Glad to say that Chrissie Mary has managed to keep a reasonably low profile and is in good health and spirits. She sends her love.

With the Dell Fank Dating Festival in mind, I've been very concerned about the new Sporran Law and keen to avoid legal unpleasantness at any weddings following next year's Fank so... I've been on a residential training course in Advanced Sporranology. Seemingly new legislation means that kilt wearers will be prosecuted if they don't have licences for their sporrans. (Yes really. Doubters can visit http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/6234290.stm although I do get a bit upset when people don't believe my news reports).

I can certainly confirm that some men in these parts have been seen wearing some criminal kilt-based outfits. Murdo John, Angus and Donald know who they are. (Calum actually looks very well in his kilt.) Some bloggers might also take a particular interest in the origin of fur for kilty accessories.

Well I've been busy researching kilts and sporrans and am proud to tell you that I'm now a fully certified Sporran Inspector. Here's a copy of my certificate.



I'll be very happy to take a close look at sporrans and kilts to advise on compliance with the law and see this as a great opperchancity for Career Development in a new service industry. Chrissie Mary wants to attend weddings as my Lovely Assistant, proudly wearing her Sporran Licencing Advice & Guidance T-shirt. Look out for the distinctive SLAG logo.

Look forward to catching up on the news from the last few weeks.

Posted on Annie Beag at 21:29

Comments

welcome back annie b hope you had a good holiday!

carol from in the sun


Glad you are back Annie B. A while ago, I had even thought you were hiding under a different name. Anyway, I just looked at your Certificate, signed by the Prince of Holyrood no less. However, I could spot neither seal nor chop: its lack does not, somehow, inspire confidence. Assuming you are legit and your fees reasonable, I see no reason at all why you should not set up business. As a matter of priority, do inspect and insist that all fur materials that go with kilting are derived from genuine island cat fur. No need to threaten endangered species when wonderful fur is so readily at hand. Also, would it be alright to put kleenex or dollars (same thing really, the way the dollar is going) in the sporran? By the way, why does Murdo John's sporran bulge?

mjc from NM,USA


Can I give a plug to Donald's new mobile 'Sharpen your Skean Dhu' service, Lewis' latest franchise business?

calum from Dept of Plaid, Kiltarlity University


If Murdo John's sporran conceals something that is in any way proportionate to his tongue, as seen in a previous post, then I think we know the answer! What an asset he is to the Western Isles Talent Initiative. In case you haven't time to flit about the blogs, AnnieB, Hermit is talking about Bloodeagling, and I just wondered if the Fankmeisters would be interested in including it next year?

Flying Cat from an admiring glance


what about sporrans made from hedgehogs - would it catch on?

scallowawife from in the think tank


Scallo., you won't know till you try. It's Scotland, after all, and hedgehogs might just fly. # Pardon my ignorance, Calum (and welcome back by the way), but what is "Skean Dhu"? # Bloodeagling at the fank is fine with me. Won't spoil my appetite: I come from hardy stock (though clearly not as bloodthirsty and hardened as Hermit's, eh?!) Would I be asking too much to be allowed to choose the first five victims?

mjc from NM,USA


I think hedgehog sporrans could be one for 'Dragons' Den. Sartorial spendour and acupunture in the one package. Could the Bannatyne resit the combination?

calum from Tomorrow's World Ness


MJC!! ah shock! i'm in cardiac arrest!! "what is a skean dhu"?? its the traditional knife these hunks in scotland have tucked into their lovely wooly socks when they the kilt!

carol from over here


What a lovely welcome back, and such a lot to think about. Seals have nice pelts so they were included in the course’s module on fur recognition but tassels would look a bit daft on chops so we didn’t do them – although they might be tasty with a bit of mjc’s hardy stock. I suppose that Donald could have a plug as long as the Skean Dhu (knife) sharpener had been through appropriate Portable Appliance Testing for health and safety but I’d have thought that a battery-operated set up would be more flexible? Hedgehog sporrans would almost definitely catch on something scallowawife. Sporran contents can be left as a matter of individual choice, apart from at airports, where liquids, gels, laptops and other large electrical items (such as portable skean dhu sharpeners) have to be removed and screened separately. I’m told that the last person who investigated Murdo John’s accoutrements had to join the Sporran Legion to forget. Are there Bloodeagling qualifications?

Annie B from the usual


Annie! Great to see you back! With yet another quallerfication! We are so proud that you will take the risk of inspecting as dangerous a beast as a sporran! Don't forget the chain mail gloves and mask, come to that perhaps you should take some precautions too!

Sunny from Yon place opposite of West with caves


Surely hedgehog sporrans would be full of little pricks...an interesting concept and one which may attract many more women to Fank '08. Or maybe not... Do the men in the West End of Lewis wear all fur sporrans and nae drawers? Ancient Female Parental Unit, late of Rolling Acres, didn't take her Rowantree's Fruit Jellies on the plane because she thought they would be confiscated... Discuss. (no don't bother we're just unwinding. slowly...)

Flying Cat from looking forward to frogsporran


hedgehog sporrans and no kilt for the very brave....

scallowawife from thinkin too hard


another brilliant"catty "" comment fc!(about sporrans)

carol with garfield grin from in the shade cause its b****y hot


FC, it has always been my understanding that no fully kilted Scot wears anything underneath. Stands to reason. He needs both hands for the bagpipe.

mjc from NM,USA


Q? How do hedgehogs make love?

Hyper-Borean from Somewhere disreputable


Aw great to hear from Sunny, Hope you're bearing upm dearie. Do they have Frogsporrans in Carol's part of the world? Were the fruit jellies sweeties or wobbling, moulded Beano-style desserts? Conjures up a lovely image.

Annie B from the usual


Annie b:- now thats a good question!! i will do my best to find an answer! smirk!

carol from where its hot and windy


Hyperborean Answer - very carefully

calumattenborough from Ness




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