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16 October 2014

Annie Beag


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Casting away

I’ve discovered who sent my Valentine’s tray and I’m that excited! Seemingly my secret admirer is a research assistant for a big film company. He’s been following our blogs with great interest and says that there’s a lot of celebs on the islands just now because they’re developing a film based on islandblogging.


He only sent the tray so he could meet me to get some inside gen on Ness and the local Fank bloggers, but I’m not disappointed because I just love the Sun Ray Tips and the WD 40 and it’s nice to be in on what’s going on for a change. He’s promised me a personal introduction to the Firth boys and said he’ll sort out the inmates for the Fank Family ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ (formerly known as Big Brother House) for us. ‘No problemo’, he said. I could listen to him all day.


George Clooney’s seriously considering the part of Calumannabel and seemingly Kate Winslet is keen to play Sunny from Arran. At least there shouldn’t be too much trouble casting Uma Thurman in the Northern Isles. The film boddach says that Catherine Zeta Jones 'fancies the gig' and is scouring the pages of J D Williams' catalogue but the wardrobe buyers are quite taken by Oxendales and Mackays in Stornoway.


So, who should play everyone else? Someone flashy to play Arnish Lighthouse? The Littlest Hobo, Lassie, Mr Ed, Blofeld’s Cat and friends to play the IT-literate animals in the Northern Isles…

Posted on Annie Beag at 00:14

Comments

Annie Oh, the excitement, dont know how you can contain yourself. To be honest if this gets any more exciting I may have to consider taking a trip to the doctor for something to calm my nerves, or maybe just get a loana fae big Gee Michael or maybe you could suggest something more natural, along guga lines. I have scoured the lofty peaks, but those pages seem to be missing/heavily edited. I am a little concerned about the language barrier, any tips on colloquialisms would be of great help. Dont want to look a prat in front of all these stars with my lowland communication.Also dont want to stick out like an interlopers sore thumb. Hope you saw my post to Calumannabel explaining my absence.

GrannyEllie from Auchenshuggle


Claude van Damme is desperate for the part of Arnish Lighthouse so long as there aren't too many lines. Withthe sad demise of Frankie Howard I suppose George Clooney is the obvious choice to play me but can he go 'OOoh matron.'?

calumannabel from Castingcouch Cottage Brue


Blofield's white act from the James Bond movies is keen to read for a part though he is temperamental and has stringent dsessing room requirements.

Mr Ten Percent from The Agency North Dell


Where does Miss Hooley fit into all this?

Donald- from I'm nae tellin'


I knew it was the Zeta Jones woman buying Clarnico Iced Carqamels in Woolies last week but Etta said I was being my usual stupis self. I wouldn't care I could have sold her autograph on E Bay. Etta was convinced it was a woman from Glasgow who married a man she knows from Plasterfield. Is this the sort of missed opportunity you want to hear about?

calumannabel from Hells Tree Cottage Back


Madonna's been on the phone and wants to buy my blogging identity - is that allowed? I could get her to play a singing part in the film in exchange. Perhaps someone can think of a suitable 'baallad' for her.

MadLamb from Way oot west


Can't wait for the directors cut DVD version with all the 'extras' - like revealing the true identities of the animals & panto performers in Unst. I have been sworn to secrecy but (whisper) Tom Cruise is to play me!!

Far North from Unst


Great to see GrannyE back with us. A hot guga and pan loaf poultice is the traditional remedy for interlopers' sore thumb. It can be a vey painful affliction if left untreated. Chrissie Mary quite fancies being played by Robin Williams. She thought that Robin took a grand part in Mrs Peatfire. How William Shatner saying, 'Beam me up Scotty' to Arnish Lighthouse?

Annie B from Lone Sheiling


I would like to apply for funding to train local actors for this high profile production.

Agnes A Morrison from Dun Eistein Drama School


Count me in!

Jennifer Arnistein from Dellywood


Miss H fits in her house between Edie McCreadie's home and the Balamory Fire Station.

Jack Anory from the haunted fishtank


Annie, have you seen that yon Calumannabel has some Harris harlet cooking him pies! And him only walking out with poor Chrissie Mary so recently! If this pie business continues he'll never squeeze through the fank turnstile! Who's going to play you in the movie? Meg Ryan is too old... What about Keira Knightly? I think Julia Roberts would be a dead ringer for BoB, how about Eddie Izzard for Donald?

Sunny from Arran


I fancy the gig and the guga.

Callanish Zeta Stones from Dellywood


Glenn Close in bunny boiling mode could play the pie-making bisom? Let's hope that the pastry-eating stops before we have to get Robbie Coltrane in to play Calum. Chrissie Mary - who is very fragile after her feelings have been trifled with - is trying to remember who starred in One Flew Over The Guga's Nest.

Annie B from Lone Sheiling


Glenn Close in bunny boiling mode could play the pie-making bisom? Let's hope that the pastry-eating stops before we have to get Robbie Coltrane in to play Calum. Chrissie Mary - who is very fragile after her feelings have been trifled with - is trying to remember who starred in One Flew Over The Guga's Nest.

Annie B from Lone Sheiling


The actress Claire Goose from Casualty night fit the bill in the wildlife casting. Will the film have an otter in it? An otter often helps a highland film. Paul Simon a cameo role as the pieman? Is this the sort of creative input you're looking for? We could have a cartoon about metrosexual pens called 'The Indelibles'

calumannabel from the casting souch south dell


Madonna would have to revamp her old single 'Justify My Blog' before she could even think of butting in. How much was she offering anyway and are we on to something here? Time-share blogging identities.... Could be the answer for GrannieE to sidestep the island residency issue....

Annie B from Lone Sheiling


Sean Connery is trying to perfect the Brian role - look out for him cycling round Arran with a camera - and Kevin Costner is thinking of playing Stephen based on their shared interest in wolves, dancing or otherwise.

The film boddach from Blockbusters, Barvas


Madonna was offering a part-share in Guy Ritchie, but I don't think the husband would go for it. I'd be willing to put my IB ID on ebay for the highest bidder, though. (Joke- IBHQ, honest!)

MadLamb from Retired home for confused wives


If you are getting Costner and Connery back together then you need Alan Rickman playing the baddie, who would that be then?

Sunny from Stirring it from Yon Art Shop


Kevin Spacey would be good for Arnish after his spell in The Shipping News? I thought about the lad who played Flash Gordon but can't remember his name and Arnish is definitely A list. Annie are you sure the swankey movie man doesn't have exterior motives? He may be using these promises of imortaliseation in film to woo you? A fine catch like you with such culinary versitility and fine figure would turn any mans head. Be warned, he might try to snap you up before you get to the fank!

Sunny Winslette from Doeas my arse look big in these oil skins?


Wonderful scripts and characters.

Stephen Seagull from Dellywood


Alan Rickman might prefer to reprise his spirited performance in 'Truly, Madly, Sheeply'. I seem to recall a ghostly shadow in Calum's fank advert and some joke about Macleod and a ewe in the afterlife? Imortalisation in film / swept off my feet by the movie man? Not a bad choice!

Annie B from Lone Sheiling


All the pictires of snowmen appearing on the blogs will no doubt mean that Catherine Zeta will be wanting to bring her brother Aled along to play Henry and all his mates.

Annie B from Lone Shieling


Has Spehen Seagull any recipes for cooking himself?

The Naked Chef from HMP Peterhead


What about Arthur Daley and Keira Knightley for the main love interests? Just a thought?

calumannabell from Wyncyette Dept Ann Winters Skigersta




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