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16 October 2014

Annie Beag


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Sick note

I’ve been away for a few days suffering from a foot injury and hypothermia. Unfortunately my public protest on behalf of Women in High Echelons was not a success. It turned out to be a one-woman protest.


I am grateful to Roddy John Macleod for cutting me free (eventually) and it’ll be a long time before I chain myself to the South Dell cattle grid again. I’d be grateful if anyone in Tolsta finds my placard. It blew away over the Dell moor. It was the day the electric went off after the big gale.


Perhaps I’ll stick to fank-related preparations until after the Big Event - when Calum and Donald finally confirm when Day 1 is.
Posted on Annie Beag at 18:21

Comments

Goos to see you back Annie! I was worried, not enough to call the helicopter out as, well, you don't like to bother them do you? And a fine lass like yourself would be more than capable of climbing out of a crevass after a couple of weeks. As for a date for the fank, I think Donald is prevaricating to avoid the counsil tax?

Sunny from Arran


I have noticed some super heavy placards in the storeroom which Alan John's great grandfather bought in for the suffragette demonstrations in Barvas when Agnes Mary Gillies threw herself under a horse and trailer returning from the peats. Although they are a faded yellow they might match your foot injury and they certainly wouldn't blow away like the flimsy thing you obviously used. PS I was at a Dell Grazing Committee meeting yesterday and I think they are going to charge you board and lodging for availing yourself of the facilities of the cattle grid these past few days. PS Hoe did the BB Bochan look?

calumannabel from stationery dept emporio alan john lionel


Donald is not prevariacting he is Aquarius. He also wants to know what Council Tax is? We don't have it on Lewis. You do know for the duration of the festival we are going to be a duty free, nudist friendly island?

calumannabel from the cattle grid south dell


Thanks to Sunny for the good wishes and to Calum for the offer of placards. My grazes from the Dell cattle grid incident are quite painful but I didn't realise that there was a Committee for this sort of thing. Don't understand why they would charge me for injuries though, so assume that there's some confusion here and they're thinking of paying me compensation.. Are there Committees for Bruising and Hypothermia as well? I'm afraid that I could hardly see the Sizeable Sibling site, as the Equal Opperchancities sub-group prefers to call it, because of the horizontal rain while I was chained to the cattle grid Tell Donald that Council tax is what they use to keep Council carpets in place.

Annie B from Lone Sheiling


Never mind all the lies about where you've been. I heard you appeared at the Sherriff Court at Tullibody charged with being under the influence of Portobello. You were fined five shillings and bound over. You forget the Tullibody Tribune is on line now.

Claude Greengrass from The Leaning Tower Bayble


It's bad enough that we have to suffer cutting, lifting and carrying the peats, the cooking a decent meal out of rubber guga and the need to be the one who wears the trousers as the only fasion on the island is boiler suit based but now the Lewis buddies are trying to make us reach the high echelons too! Serves you right Annie B! I've has enough! I've put ma tackety boot up himselfs hind end and sent him to so the work. He's been told where to find the ready made pizza and I've got my feet up in front of the fire while working my way through his best malt. The muscles I've built up humphing peat, wood, rocks etc. for the last 20 years have finally come in handy, he's petrified! That's it, my @rse isn't leaving the low echelons for a very long time, or at least till the fank when I'm trading His Masogonistic Drunkenness in for something with more substance and a lot less fat and salt. Burns Night and all it's macho clap trap can awa an bile it's heid! "Another dram Ina?" "Don't mind if I do, Ina. Make it a large one."

Emiline Pankcake from Womens Sufferage For The Low Echelons!


I realise that scouring obscure local newsheets in search of Godwin gems has become an obsession for some islanders, but you're well out of order Claude Greengrass. I've never set a grazed foot in Tullibody or been under the influence of Portobello - although I've searched high and low for the stuff since Arnish mentioned it. It must have been another Annie Beag that was bounded over. Turns out I've got a namesake on the interweb banging on about flats in Dublin on www.daft.ie, 'Ireland's Biggest Property Site'. She's not me and I'm fed up with bisoms pretending to be me when they get tanked up in Tullibody.

Annie B from Lone Sheiling


Will we be hearing from your solicitor?

Claude Greengrass from Lying Low House Cross


I suppose yon Pancake woman is related to young Treacle Pancake who's commented on Calumannabel's 'Is there life on Harris?' blog. (See his December Archive.) These Pancakes are obviously an eyeball short of a Ceann Cropic. By the way, there’s almost 70 comments on that blog – mostly pointing to a theory that the Harris Pollsters who did the dating survey must have made up their research. There are some interesting references to seabird cuisine there though. I noticed mentions of ‘penguin biscuits’ and ‘toilet duck’. Anyone know the recipes? Is this the sort of cross-referencing you’re looking for?

Annie B from Lone Sheiling


Dear Mr Greengrass, Mr McSuingÂ’s secretary from Donald John McSuing & Co. Solicitors, Notaries and Calor Gas Agents in Lionel has asked for your particulars so that he can contact you on my behalf. Apparently Mr McSuing himself has nipped out to the stationery section at Port of Ness Post Office for some A4 card to write you a stiff letter. He may have to make do with a postcard of the Lighthouse. Looking forward to an early response. Your sincerely A Beag (Ms)

Annie B from Lone Sheiling


I look forward to my day in Port ( sorry Court). I too am looking for some stiff card. Apparently it comes from Manilla so I may pick up a wife while I'm on the phone. I'm not sure where Manilla is but judging from the two letter 'L's' I guess it's in Wales somewhere.

Claude Greengrass from Lying Low House Cross


I am acting for Annie Beag, (Ms.), Spinster of Ness Parish, (hereinafter called The Party of the First Part) against Claude Greengrass, (Mr) of No Fixed Abode (hereinafter called The Party of the Second Part) in the case of Beag v. Greengrass. I must informÂ….. (can you pass me another postcard please Dolina.)

DJ McSuing (for Annie Beag) from Lionel


With lashings of prejudice: In the case of Claude Greengrass (Blogger) v Annie Beag (the Blogee) my client and myself wish to settle out of court in a small cottage in Gress.You are welcome to visit any time. We consider the matter now to be similar to Effie Murray's shop in South Dell - CLOSED. Any more of your nonsense and we'll hire the Flotta woman to represent us then you'll know about it! Is this the sort of mitigation you were looking for?

hamish petrocelli from perrry mason lodge Grimshader


I put it to you, Mr Petrocelli, that Ms Beag is, beyond reasonable doubt, the wronged Blogger here. Also Effie Murray's shop is not just closed. It's demolished. Gone. Long ago. Your client is living in the past. You're right to put him out to Gress and..... (a nice view of the Callanish Stones now Dolina I think...)

DJ McSuing (for Annie Beag) from Lionel


Swear the jury in...

calumculpable from Dunberisay Crown Court




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