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We thought that the most exciting news in Ness today was about the Post Office Raid, as new supplies of Ant & Cockroach Killer arrived to supplement the Fly & Wasp Killer, but then we heard that Reuters newswire was running the following report:


"Naked North Dell resident Chrissie Mary Murray was found skateboarding across Eoropie machair today using 2 novelty cromacks as ski poles shouting ‘Cailleachs for the High Echelons’ and, ‘Shellfish Collecting for Skincare’. Miss Murray’s blushes were spared as she gathered speed, windblown sand and seaweed (but no moss). She became calmer when an ambulance arrived to take her to hospital and paramedics presented her with a special hat. Seemingly she has Dating Extravaganza Anticipatory Reaction Syndrome. This usually affects more mature women."


This raises a number of issues: What steps are Calum and Donald taking to deal with outbreaks of old DEARS? What sort of risk analysis should be done for the bicenturions? What sort of medical facilities should the Fank have? Can anyone advise on counselling services? And finally…do bloggers want to order any fashion supplies from the hospital boutique while Chrissie Mary’s there? (Did Sunny & I have everything covered – except the backsides of anyone choosing to wear an NHS gown?)


I know that your thoughts will be with Chrissie Mary at this time. I'm pleased to report that she is recovering well and fancies a guga and neep wrap with Irn Bru.