成人快手

Today, as usual, we are celebrating the Chinese New Year in Ness. The Year of the Rat and as if to celebrate the machair is full of them though once the folk in Fivepenny realise they taste like Spam, the problem should disappear.
We were going to involve the Ness children in making a dragon but Health and Safety ruled against the kids sniffing any more glue than they do already. Instead we have got eight on the oldest most wrinkled women of Ness and put a tarpaulin over them - the effect's pretty much the same as they jig their way through the parish.
The takeaway in Eoropie has No 96 Guga Chow Mein with Curry and Neeps as a specail new year treat (拢3.95) and free fortune cookies for anyone placing an order between 4 and ten past this afternoon.
The bochans are clearing out the cans of Tennants and it's bottles of Tiger and Singha beer for one night early. Alec Dan says it makes him feel like a sex tourist drinking this beer and cannot wait to get back to pints of Famous Grouse.
The gung Ho family will have open house at their laundry in Swainbost and their latest tumble drier from JD Williams will be on display. It makes mincemeat of Murdo John's tractor stained dungarees apparently.
Finally there will be a kite flying spectacular on the Fank site to give the chemical toilets a bit of an airing since they've not been used for a year.
So happy Year of the Rat, hands across the ocean and all that boll
Next year is Year of the Cheviot Ewe - should be a goodun.
Annie B is in St Alban's - someone has to be - and it's only for 2 days - surely she can manage that? Chrissie Mary is still in London at the Diana inquest fielding some awkward questions about her relationship with Dodi. She gets home at weekends for a change of bloomers.
That's enough Ness news for now.

I watched the 成人快手1 news coverage at 5am and 8.30am this morning. The reporter was obviously speaking from Pairc where, surprise surprise, we saw three windfarms, and not one working. Still a blight on the horizon but contributing zilch. I imagine it wasn't windy enough, too windy , leaves on the line or whateverbut imagine how frustrating it would be to pass mile after mile of the blighters all switched off. The tourists on the tours who do bring income to the isles will be looking at their brochures and turning toi their spouses, ' I thought this was Lewis. Are we not back in Grangemouth, dear?'
Mr MacLeod kindly reminded us that the island would benefit from 拢5m a year aside from the benefits from having 400 new jobs on the island. I read an informed article in the broadsheets recently that stated that a standard turbine can 'generate' 拢500k of income a year. This equates to over 拢90m a year for the 186 turbines of which Mr Macleod says his benevolent masters will give us 拢5m of it. It's a wonder they haven't tried to buy us off with coloured beads and promises of a big iron horse running on rails from Port of Ness to Leverburgh.
400 new jobs means the majority will come from the mainland, raising house prices and effectively ruling out local people getting on the housing ladder. The only people that will benefit will be the Pension funds with their marble offices in Perth and Stirling not the ordinary man or woman from Lemreway, Gress or Carloway. I hope the scheme is refused and the energy authorities sent homeward to Bearsden and Morningside to think again.

After two momentous dating festivals, the site of the Dell Fank has been made a World Heritage Site and the chemical toilets are now Grade 2 listed. This means we cannot use the site this year. We looked at moving to the Callanish Stones site to be nearer Callanish International Airport, so beloved of so many of our attendees, However we find it is the subject of repossession proceedings as the owners were with Northern Rock and had a 195% mortgage on the land. The Ness FC clubhouse is a possibility if we can get them to change their quiz night - otherwise we're goosed or is it 'gugaed'. All the usual sponsorship is in place, though the cost of policing the festival has quadrupled. Any suggestions or does any other island have a suitable site?
Chrissie Mary Morrison has been recalled to the witness stand in the Diana inquest things she said for an article that appeared in the last Monthly Record. What a girl.