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Knackered..

I was on my way to heaven

and had reached the pearly gates

when st peter said what happened

dont you realize youre late..

so i said my friend forgive me

but dont you realize im dead

and i had to stop halfway up the stairs

for my ghost was out of breath...

my spirit started bitching

when i walked above the clouds

then it tells me its got vertigo

and was taking dizzy spells...

then i lost my sense of humour

when i had to go back down

and sign my name in dublicate for an undertakers clerk...

i know, i know, st peter cried

he sent two drunks into paradise

who he claimed were dead,but were still alive

and the lord blaimed me for losing their files...

but step inside the pearly gates

and leave your shoes behind

the angels will show you how to fly

into the promised land...

and i thought to myself he just hasnt heard

a single word that i have said

my spirit has got vertigo and is terrified of heights

and the last thing it needs is some nut with wings

to teach it how to fly...

so i said to st peter i hope you dont mind

if i decline your good offer

and go back down to earth

for my spirit,s not willing to fly like a bird...

and st peter just laughed of course not my friend

but the rest of your family will turn in their graves

for they were hoping today i would call out their names...

so ill just fiddle the books and change your name into jane

that good looking christian

who ive fancied for years.....

and i will carry her manfully

through the pearly white gates

if you promise to lock

them before she escapes...

Ìý

By Edward Robinson

Al Smyth - Reflections
Alice McGuiness - Each and Every One of Us
Anonymous - Trish and Jo on the Hugo Show
Anonymous - The Cat's Prayer
Anonymous - Radio Ulster Prayer
Anonymous - The Hairdresser's Prayer
Carolann North - Drinking by Woods on a Snowy Evening
Colin T Mercer - How I Start Each Day
Dan Eggs - Work
Daniel Egede - Work
Edward Robinson - Knackered
Emma Jones - The Storm
Emma Jones - Working
Geraldine McMullan - The Plumber's Daughter
Jean Vance - A Silent Cry
Jennifer M Frew - Serenity
Louise Mercer - Birds
Paul Jeffcutt - In Employment
Peter King - Rathlin
Neil Joseph Burns - On A Girl Trying to Maintain Her Dignity
Neil Joseph Burns - The Night Weaver
Sean Mullin - 3722
Steve Ormsby - To War, To Death
Vincent Marmion - At the Bar
Vincent Marmion - Overpowering
Vincent Marmion - The Party After the Funeral

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