成人快手

This could be my last blog of the year depending on the outcome of the Fank Committee's Christmas Night out which takes place tomorrow. This year we shall learn from last year's fiasco when none of us had a credit card to pay for bail and we were forced to spend Crimbo in custody. A Charley Barley takeaway Marac Surpise courtesy of Stornoway Police Station's hospitality wing did not take the pain away of being separated from our loved ones on the big day.

While I remember Annie B sent Donald and I a lovely card with a red breasted guga on the front. She tells me she is having her father for Christmas - she had goose last year and found it very difficult. I hope the old man fits in the Aga OK.

Chrissie Mary is starting to cook her guga today using an old recipe from the Lionel school magazine of 1947. It allows a day pre pound cooking time to tenderise the meat though this particular free range guga is metric which is puzzling CM. Donald and I are using CM's tights again to hold our presents - they are 30 denier American Tan with a rib and hold anything from selection boxes to tractor parts without giving way.

Donald is getting Gaelic Sat Nav for his tractor featuring the voice of Coinneach.
'Turn left at the next Cheviot ewe - you're doing chust fine - at the bochan turn right - watch out for the postie's bike - you have reached your destination..'

Donald has been warned by the Jobcentre in Stornoway that they may have found a job that he can do - after 30 years of trial and error - it will involve giving out the hymn books on the Sunday ferry. He's quite excited about the prospect of travel and minimum wage plus unlimited macaroni has certainly turned his head.

We shall have a quiet Crimbo Day - eat around 2pm - take the cow for a walk - put on a few 78's while Granny tries out her iPod- the usual island day. We shall think of those upside down in NZ (Carol + intended) as the blood runs to their head and of mjc in nm with a bargain bucket of Colonel Saunders Guga.

No doubt other villages will be celebrating in their own way. Skigersta I know is big on wife swapping on Christmas Day - after much drinking everyone throws their tractor keys into a pail or bicycle clips if they are tractorless - it means you can change your wife every year - no wonder the divorce rate is so low in Skigerta.

If you see me in town say hello - I will be the one with a tam o shanter with mistletoe attached to it via an ingenious arrangement involving a wire coat hanger, It leaves both hands free for groping purposes. I shall also be wearing clear lip gloss which should separate me out from most othe bodachs in town.

Well I'd love to stay and talk sh*** all day but I've promised TWS I'd pick up his medication so in the words of the man himself.
Cheerie. Have a cool yule everyone. I am getting a new phone with some mega pixies tomorrow so watch out for illustrations in 08. You have been warned
Calumannabel