Suggestions for Fank 07
Posted: Sunday, 28 January 2007 |
Comments
A Song for Europie...
Flying Cat from Lonely Harts
The reason why there are so few spinsters in Ness is simply polygamy (sanctioned by many cultures and religions, including, at one time one in Utah). Polygamy in Ness is specifically characterized by the generosity so characteristic of that area: six wives under 21 are allowed (when one of them gets over 21, the Solomons on the island are allowed to add a younger one) to every (native born: incomers are allowed only 3) man on the island, with priority for those who have partaken of cormorant stew. # What Calum. forgot to add is that, consequently, the number of widows in Ness has also increased dramatically. The Nessian women after all descend from a tough breed of guga hunters, and doing away with straying husbands and hanging them out to dry, all salted up, is not something they shy away from. # I am not sure that Calum. has thought of all the unexpected consequences of Fank 2005 and 2006 before floating the balloon of a Fank 2007. Perhaps a reconsideration is in order.
mjc from NM,USA
Tell me more about your initiating ceremony, does it happen at the fank, or in a dark secret place beforehand?
Nic from Coll
Tedfest looks OK but let's face it Calum it's no fank. By the way, why has the duck dominated the toliet cleaning market when there is so much birdlife to choose from?
Annie B from the usual
Toilet Guga or Bog Cormorant doesn't have the same ring to it somehow.
calumannabel from Cross public Toilets 3rd cubicle from left
Hate to disagree Calum but I'm sure there'd be a big demand for Bog Cormorant and I'd definitely buy Loo Gannet or Lavvy Gull. I still don't get the duck connection. A hedgehog would at least look more like a toilet brush. Why not WC Hedgehog?
Annie B from the usual
Nic: of course you have to be initiated. I shall forward you the address where you can send the initiation fee by separate mail. No more information will be shared with you until the fee has been paid, either by banker's draft or, better still, by your sending me your bank account and credit card info.!! Only Calumannabel is authorized to waive the fee, and he may do so for a citizen of Coll (not too many from Coll are willing to brave the Fank). I am however allowed to inform you that you will have to travel to Lewis, for the initiation ceremony takes place in (how did you guess) the local nick, with supper afterwards provided by Annie B.
mjc from NM,USA
I see IBHQ have put a sculpture depicting a GNER train driver out of uniform embracing a Virgin Cross Country ticket collector. Where did they find that? That's some Clip Art Library they've got at the 成人快手!
calumannabel from Skigersta Cyber Cafe
Who's Nick? I think the duck connedtion might be to do with the shape of the bit you poke up under the rim........Kludgie Kurlew would reach even further. Round the U bend and beyond.
Flying Cat from Inn Anticipation
Tch.Such a picture of filth and depravity sullying Calum's blog. What will visitors think? At least we can be thankful that it's Virgin trains that are involved - so called because they don't go all the way.
Annie B from the usual
Just go for 'Kludgeriegar' now that has a definite ring ( or should that be rim) to it
calumannabel from owt and aboot
Wait till you hear how much that sculpture cost!
mjc from NM,USA
I for one wouldn't dream of sullying Calum's bog. In fact, I was trying to assist with freshening it up. But I am glad he gets visitors.....
Flying Cat from Ecovery Ward
Is it true that there are plans to remove the sculpture in question to the Place de la Concorde as per request of Segolene Royal? She claims the sculpture is probably French in origin, and therefore ...
mjc from NM,USA
Does that mean they are French Kissing. I dont speak French does Place de La Concorde mean Place of Withdrawn airliner or Place of Cheap Wine?
calumannabel from au dessous du boardwalk
Wine? Concord grapes? Manischewitz wine? No, Place de la Concorde has nothing to do with the Atlantic City boardwalk (the last I heard. True, there is now an Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas, Nevada, but so is Venice)
mjc from NM,USA
My Uncle Alistair is a builder in Venice. He's made a fortune doing damp proof course work - all guaranteed of course. it has enabled him to keep Auntie Maggie Mary in the manner to which she has become accustomed. She has a wee place next door to the Doges Palace which I think is a picture house.
calumannabel from Fantasy Island ( Blogging)
Old gaelic saying: "a bird down the pan is worth two in the bush".
Annie B from the usual
So, your uncle Alistair helped build Venice. Are you trying to explain to us why the Dodgy Palace is on the slippery slope?
mjc from NM,USA
I had no idea that there is such lewd behaviour by train crews. That scuplture is utterly depraved and damaging to public morals and I don't accept that the man and woman involved simply removed their uniforms because of global warming.
Mary Blackhouse from Bloggers and Readers' Association
Are there any men reading this that think April is a long way off...
Ms.cd50 from a really nice place
April a long way off? It all depends where April is standing and where you are ogling her from.
calumannabel from Fanksgiving House Dell
That April's a wee dancer so she is....
Flying Cat from ancient telly listing
.... an anorexic skeleton of a model from Belarus?
mjc from NM,USA
Hey! That's amazing. Instant sentence-ending service from afar. I wonder what......
Flying Cat from a short sentence
"More women than men leave isles" That's the #2 headline on today's Highlands & Islands Where I Live page. I suspect they haven't counted the flotilla of long boats full of women roaming the Isles looking for their lorry owning, good with sheep, ideal fellas. Including those statistics could make a huge difference. Using these figures wisely could help the marketing of Fank 2007 (isn't Sunny a marketeer?)
Bunchrew Seer from The Crannog, Beauly Firth
If Sunny's a marketeer equality for wimmin has come on better than I thought. Aramis, Porthos & Sunny! Oh no not Aramis. Please. It's disgusting!
Flying Cat from D'Artagnan's foil
You're right about Aramis. No 1 fragrance in Ness is Obese Man by Calvin Klein.
calumannabel from Clarins Counter Emporioalanjohn
Will there be sumo wrestling at the Fank then?
Flying Cat from avon calling
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