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16 October 2014

calumannabel


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Recipe for Classic Cormorant

Never let it be said that Donald and I don't pull out all the stops when it comes to finding new recipes for you Fanksters. The Cross Inn is planning a very special wedding breakfast for any couples who tie the knot at Fank 07. The meal will recereate the following dish from Countryman's Cooking by WMW Fowler ( of Godwin Country) famous as a prisoner of war for cooking a German Camp Commandant's cat with a black market onion. This is his classic recipe for preparation and cooking of a cormorant - a guga will suffice. This is a genuine recipe and shows how close we were to being on track with some of the recipes Annie B and I posted last year. You scofffed at us at the time!

'Having shot your cormorant, hold it well away from the body ..these birds are extremely verminous and the lice are said not to be host specific. Hang up by the feet with wire, soak in petrol and set on fire. This removes the feathers and the lice. When the smoke has cleared cut off the beak. Bury the carcass in a light sandy machair type soil for a fortnight. This is said to remove the taste of rotting fish. Dig up the bird, skin and draw it. Place in a strong solution of salt and water for 48 hours. Remove, dry and stuff the bird with whole unpeeled onions..the onion skins are supposed to bleach the meat from black to dark brown.

Simmer gently in seawater - to which 2 tsbs of chloride of lime have been added - for six hours. This has a further tenderising effect. Meanwhile mix up a thick paste of methylated spirit and curry powder spreading the mixture liberally over the breast of the bird. Finally roast in a hot oven for three hours.

Jamie Oliver's company are one of three fighting for the film rights to the book containing this and other recipes.

I have the phone number of the publisher in case you don't think this is genuine.
The problem now - what to drink with it and what on earth to have as a dessert?
Posted on calumannabel at 10:22

Comments

The story goes :- Long ago, at the beginning of WW2 an old Orkney man had a contract to supply wilfowl to an agent who sold them on to a London hotel. The various restrictions of the time rendered catching ducks somewhat difficult so our friend had the idea of taking shags and cormorants which were plentiful. When the agent queried the identity of the new birds he was told they were Orkney Deuks and they were duly despatched south. Reciept was acknowledged in due course with the request not to sen any more of the black ones as the diners complained that they tasted of fish. As another old friend used to say, "An' it were a lee it was leed tae me."

Hyper-Borean from Well wrapped in a scarf


Calum., you forgot to mention the intense aphrodisiacal quality of the end product. Folks who have more than two bites of this wonderfilled product usually have to be restrained for a period fo 72 hours by strapping folks from Flotta or Ness. If you taste cormorant a la Calum. you will realize guga, even in a vindaloo sauce, is no competition. Anyway, that's what I heard under the mistletoe ...

mjc from NM,USA


M'Marmalade chum, a true gourmand, recommends a nice, aromatic, oak-aged Lanliq to accompany the bird, followed by a sweet neep souffl茅 drizzled with kol rabi coulis. If you want to go the whole hog, cr锚me de h茅risson will top it off nicely.

Flying Cat from Inn Continent


What is there left to say? Cutting edge of culitary arts. Even the late Emperor Bokassa's sub zero freezer did not hold such delights in store. 'tis true he was more into smoked bipeds, which he generously shared with unwitting - the right term? - ambassadors.

mjc from NM,USA


Lovely to see some tasty variations on traditional favourites Calum. This recipe鈥檚 a real find and Chrissie Mary鈥檚 just checking on our meths supplies now (a bit low after flamb茅ing a clootie dumpling at Hogmanay). Hope that people burying cormorants on the machair near Eoropie don鈥檛 disrupt too many home matches for Ness FC!

Annie B from the usual


Watson's Trawler Rum would complement the strong flavour of the bird and I would recommend Skigersta Trifle for afters. It's like sherry trifle but you use a little port instead of the sherry.

Annie B from the usual


A Flying Cat at Ness? Nobody told me. It could make an episode of Who Do You Think You Are? FC pictured meeting ancient Presbyterian cousins many times removed; visiting lichen covered headstones; wandering wistfully at Calanish, dreaming of stoneage ancestors; and having a wee greet ouside a black hoose as I think on the hardships of long-ago kit and kin. *sigh*

Flying Cat from Feline Family History Society


apologies for typos. I seem to be making many of those lately: incomplete, on the fly editing. Of course, I meant culinary not culitary (the latter sounds like a term used for the cooks in military barracks).

mjc from NM,USA


I've been thinking about your bird. Maybe the recipe needs an American twist. After removing the creature from the sand, push through a mincer (lovely red one available for a reasonable price from Lakeland), add finely chopped beetroot, garlic and onion, form into burgers (burger-maker avail......etc) and burn to a frazzle on a redhot girdle. Slap between buns and Bob's your uncle (yes I know BoB, you're an auntie, but for the sake of this rubbish you're an honorary uncle).

Flying Cat from Inn Continent


Flying Cat, I'm not sure you're on the right website if it's slapping buns you're into! I hope its the birds you're digging up after a fortnight Calumannabel, and not those bibles that were buried last year, it might be hard to tell which smelled the fishiest.

BoB from Lewis


Cormorant a la sauce de Bush? Does not bear thinking. Anyway, Calum.'s recipe is fine as it is: I shall look forward to the wild life following consumption of same. As to slapping anything between buns, my dear flying squirrel (oops! that keyboard again: I meant "cat"), you must think we all hail from Massachusetts or California-eh.. # No, we are truly the land of road kill burgers, rolled in fried bread a la Navajo (soon to make its deput at the Multiculti Taco Bell on Stromness Quay) - the price of a Guga, but worth it ladies and gents.

mjc from NM,USA


thewhitesettler - or am I mixing him with acutelycurious? - sounds as if he would not mind "burning to a frazzle on a redhot girdle" - isn't that so, thewhitesettler? # Out here on the deserted range, we would rather have our burgers and rocky mountain oysters charred to a crisp on a griddle. Healthy living.

mjc from NM,USA


Of course the simplest is the best :- take one cormorant (Substitute shag if unavailable) one onion and a piece of oak board 8in by 6in by 1in. Nail bird to board anplace into boiling water with the onion. Boil until the board is tender then discard bird and eat the board.

Hyper-Borean from Ramsay's scullery


I am concerned now of the healthand scafety minefiels I have opened by posting this recipe. I should have added the 'don't try this at home' rider to avoid being sued. If anyone does damage their buns in the course of trying this recipe Donald has volunteered to assess the extent of said injury to the said parts. He says it's a horrible job but someone has to do it.

calumannabel from cleavage cottage swainbost


Hyper-Borean: no wonder you are in the scullery. Calum would not let you near his cormorant, not even if I tried to bribe him with a free ticket to Coll International. Can't say I blame him. Hope that piece of wood is oak, by the way.

mjc from NM


HyperB.: I meant "solid oak" and not just veneer.

mjc from NM,USA


That Veneer was some painter. I bet he could have painted the bird, the bun and the board to perfection.

Flying Cat from art&artists monthly


Get real. And where are you going to find oak in the Western Isles? Will a breeze block do instead?

calumannabel from Acorn Antiques Habost Lewis


When Donald saw the IBHQ picture he didn't have his glasses on. For a moment he thought his cannabis farm had been discovered.

calumavatoke from Mellowbost Borve


Mjc. Veneer! Perish the thought. If you try to nail a bird to minced and reconstituted wood you deserve all you get. Probably skelfs (splinters) in the tongue.

Hyper-Borean from The wood shed


Skelfs - much nicer term than splinters. Thanks Hyper-Borean. # You are funny FC: of course Veneer was a very good painter indeed, and so was Titan, # By the way, is (Carol) Chauveau a real name: my keyboard was typing strange words earlier today, but before I let it have the reins I want to be sure Chauveau is a made up name (when I give "offence", I want it to be intended!!). Would she care to inform us?

mjc from NM


Calumannabel, go dig in the peat, I bet you'll find various timber and a decent piece of bog oak will take at least twice as long to cook as modern stuff, to the benefit of the recipe methinks.

Hyper-Borean from The backwoods ( a tiny enclave in Hoy)


I believe if pushed Bunchrew Seer has same excellent recipes for mink. Annie B and I were at Bunchrew House Hotel last year and there was mink on the menu if you knew who to ask. It was served on the quiet disguised as venison.

calumannabel from Tigh Vermin Vatersay


If enough of us ate mink we could exterminate the wee blighters.

Hyper-Borean from Nicky Tam's


Is it true that Bunchie's mink recipe is now the official dish for the city of Minsk? That is what the Belarus Times says, but of course, it may not be trustworthy...

mjc from NM,USA


Shona Shag writes from Shcottish Nashrel Heritashe - "I 'ate mink. And I can't shay eshterm...extrem. Oh buggerit, jusht shlaughteremall" And Para Puffin from Stuffin says - "et tu minkus." I think that says it all really.

Flying Cat from Essenaish, near Grannie's Heilan Hame


Any more of this FC and you will have to spend one year with them thar Anglican nuns/sisters (what do they/you call them in the C of E?) on Fetlar. A year there, and I would expect improvement all around. # Scallowawife might send you some of her bannocks and white pud over yonder once in a long while. I don't expect Calum's cormorant will ever make it on the refectory menu, much less the fragrant oak board of Hyper-B.

mjc from NM,USA


Svelte mink link by Calumannabel - 10 team points! And my, you and Annie B are posh aren't you - dining at Bunchrew House indeed. I've decided to get into the spirit of this Island Blogging. All my posts are now done wirelessly from a lovingly restored crannog on Beauly Firth. I reckon that makes me an islander? Good spot for catching the pine marten and widgeon needed for Mrs Bunchie's signature dish

Bunchrew Seer from Bunchie's Crannog, Beauly Firth


Bunchbrew house? Never heard of it! But sounds promising. Is it open, gratis, to visitors from the islands (and from Nuevo Mexico, of course)? Is Haggis (with a capital H naturally) on the menu? I beg to skip the mink and the cormorant, please, unless you can show the USDA seal of approval.

mjc from NM,USA


Isn't crannog an dessert? Bunchie's Dessert Ile.

Flying Cat from Ramsay's Scullery


mjc Bunchrew Houesehas a website so that you can see what you're missing. Bet the wind's whipping in around the old Urals in your wireless crannog Bunchie!

calumannabel from ness lewis


Venison News - Learnt loads about red deer yesterday whilst travelling to a meeting with a guy from the Deer Commission. Epic tales of helicopter gunships, silenced rifles and other exciting things. They also commission workshops on butchering and cooking the shot deer. Major learning point for me though was that the Stags spend almost the whole year miles away from the hinds (and on lower quality grazing). Those boys just spend their time locking horns, chewing the cud, running around - sound familiar?

Bunchrew Seer from Twixt Perth and Inverness


Hi Bunchie: you folks over-equip yourself. Here, we just take the truck on the highway, and soon enough a deer - or an elk - with suicide (or murder) on its mind, hops suddenly to the middle of the road: there you have it, wonderful road kill. Of course, if the driver survives, he has to call another truck to haul away the carcass (usually, it's the Dept. of Wildlife who gets called,and ends up with the venison), and yet another one to haul away the truck. The insurance companies call this "an act of God" and does not penalize the driver who causes the mayhem (or is it the deer that causes it?!). Yeah, those signs "Deer Crossing" on the Interstates and State roads are to be taken seriously.

mjc from NM,USA


Dear Crossing was the sign that used to greet drivers at the Kyle end of the bridge.

Flying Cat from A bridge too far


Whenver I re-read my comments I find myself getting upset at a poor turn of phrase, a typo, or, recently a spate of failures to link suject to verb: e.g. above "the insurance companies ... does not... " (of course, I know da*n well "do" is the proper conjugation). If my kids had done that in high school (or even in primary), I would have blown a gasket. Blame it on old age, or (because of the time zone difference) an urge to get the answer in quickly (and, thus, lack of revision or worse still botched up on the fly revision) before Anne takes off for a night on the town ...! Oh well, I aim to get the lingo right: after all, English is my second language (if you get the second one right, usually you are not doing too badly with the almighty mother tongue as well). Maybe I will improve, if I don't get side-tracked by tws and his deliberate confusions, ... or the needs of the Fank. A novenna for me, Moo in the Night, would be appropriate (or should it be "apposite"?)

mjc from NM,USA


Tell us more about the Venison News? Does it have a racing page? Are there horoscopes? Is there a rogues gallery of poachers that deer should beware of? Are there classified adverts eg 'Young stag, own antlers, likes travelling, seeks young doe for long nights out'

rudolphannabel from The Old Dearhunter Ness


Have just spotted a real live web site for someone really called Bunchie (precocious 24 year old from Bristol way) aargh! Absolutely definitely not me!

Bunchrew Seer from The Crannog, Beauly Firth


Charming, vivacious, sleek doe, GSOH, WLTM mature stag OHAT, 12 points minimum, big jumper.

Flying Cat from Doh! a deer.


Bunchie is a fine name. That will teach you to go rooting afar on other sites. Stop muttering, and take a dip in the loch.

mjc from NM,USA


I thought Bunchie went orienteering - is rooting just another word for it?

Flying Cat from the map chest


And voving on to Mexican Fruit Bats: Some years ago I was on a course in Austin, Texas (its been a tough life). There I was introduced to about 1 million bats who live under a new bridge across the river. Every sunset they fly off simultaneously, rising like cloud of smoke. After the city goodies fought off attempts to kill em, the little fellows have become a tourist attraction. People take a picnic to the riverside and watch them fly off - a great experience. A really great spin off from this was a bat fans' newsletter in which every article was written by a bat - hilarious! I have a copy if anyone's interested. Should appeal to some of you surreal bloggers out there. Oh, colleagues were putting up loads of bat boxes and bird boxes all around our office yesterday. We're such nice folk here! I took the slugs running and we visited the lonely gravestone of C/Sgt Munro VC who died in the local asylum. I was indeed orienteering last weekend. I routed around the forest quite well but got narrowly beaten by a young stag from DCS

Bunchrew Seer from Batbox above Inverness


I'm sorry, but I just don'e see what's funny about bats writing their own fanzine. It seems purrfectly normal to me.

Flying Cat from in a fluff


Bunchie's report of bats under the bridge taking off in the evening is correct: a sight to behold. The bats apparently find the freeze space between the slabs just right for their needs. Unintended by the engineers. # FC, take it easy: American bats (Americans, period) don't write their own self-promotion blurbs/brochures: they get it done professionally.

mjc from NM,USA


You were introduced to a million bats- where they all lined up waiting to shake hands with you like at the Royal Command Performance. I bet you were there for days Bunchie!

calumannabel from Pipistrelle Place Stornoway


Great News!! Classic cormorant is justifiably famous at last. I'm down in the dreadfully busy central belt visiting No 1 daughter. We've been out to eat in the really, really famous "Mother India" Indian tapas place in Glasgow's trendy West End bubble (no doubt familiar to many swanky fanksters?). Guess what was on the specials menu! Yes it really was. Needless to say we tucked in and talked loudly about our inner knowledge of said recipe. Well done ladies - you're famous. I'm commenting wirelessly fom the motorhome. Tried doing it earlier from an island in Mugdock country park but the Canada Geese bit me and chased me off - so just a wannabe islander today.

Bunchrew Seer from Goose Green near Glasgow


Ladies??????? Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

Flying Cat from in a fluff




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