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16 October 2014

calumannabel


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A Week to Go...Fankticipation

Donald and I have been surveying the Fank. The perimeter wire fencing is very imposing, the sheep have been moved out of the BB Bochan and the smell of wet paint fills the air. We have Donald's little nieces karaoke machine wired into the main PA and we had a try at a Walker Brothers number to see if everything's working. I think the Walkers make better crisps than they write songs but that's just a personal thing - do you agree Annie B?
'No one will lose that loving feeling' is our promise as Fank organisers.
Nearly everyone has new bedding from the catalogue hanging out on the line in Fankticipation and there will be spare places galore in most households for daters from afar.
27 Aird Dell even has a sign in the window saying 'Vacancies American spoken here'.
Arnish Lighthouse has agreed to be our greeter without portfolio for the event and he is starting to look out for the Arran girls and Trevor in his wheelie bin from Wednesday, PS Trevor - please bring a quiche for us to inspect.
Locally we have the figures in for local attendees. Adabrock has 75 men coming (76 if Donnie the post's mother lifts his grounding ) and sixteeen women plus Chrissie Mary. Fivepenny has 112 men and 112 woman booked - it looks like every couple there is looking for a change. We have 10026 locals altogether attending including our 'brave boys in blue with the red piping' with their fly past in the post office vans. This is even before the other islands and the Americas weigh in - four flights an hour into Callanish International next Sat pm and aggage handlers recruited from the West Side. In fact we are proud to announce that for every official council tax payer attending there will be one other Loiseach there. I think the census people have got their population figures wrong.
I said to Donald that there is a palpable air of excitement in Ness. He said if he knew what 'palpable' meant, he'd probably agree. Off to shave Granny before the Sabbath. More later.
Calum
Posted on calumannabel at 21:01

Comments

Question. Is the fence to keep us in or out? I didn't realise we had to register, or is that just the locals? Is the wet paint Magnolia? (Sorry, three questions) Tell Donald palpable is in the dictionary between paella and pasta, and has nothing to do with either.

Foxy from the long hard road


Mmm. Interesting family those Walkers. Seemingly Scott Walker parted company from the other brothers when he found out that they weren鈥檛 really related after all. Then he was disowned by the crisp-making Walkers, so he set up on his own making shortbread, oatcakes and fruit cake. They sell the wee packets on the Ullapool -Stornoway ferry. Old habits died hard and his singing salt and vinegar shortbread has become legendary in Aberlour along with the prawn cocktail oatcakes and smokey bacon fruit cake. He sounds as he speaks fluent American. P.S. Are the Americans fair game at the Fank or are they all likely to be cousins? Don't want to get involved in any of that incense malarkey.

Annie B from the usual


Glad you've arranged an Aggage handler. Aggie's always quite a handful. We'll be happy to handle the other lassies though.

Betty Kant Karrier from Crowd Control (Callanish Airport)


Only the locals have to register in case there's a fire practice. The fence is there to lean against - people can't stand anywhere on Lewis without leaning against something. Hope this is the sort of answer you're looking for?

calumannabel from Rest and be Fankfull Ness


Calum, I looked up 'palpable' in the dictionary that Chrissie Mary and I use for Scrabble. It said, 'capable of being touched or felt'. This seems a bit smutty for Ness but I suppose it might be OK if there are plenty of knitted mittens available. Are Sunny & GrannyE on the case?

Annie B from The usual


Hi calumannabel, can you get in touch with me as soon as you can? Email islandblogging@bbc.co.uk. We're hoping to send a reporter to the fank. Graham

Graham, IBHQ from glasgow




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