成人快手

I've sadly had to drop out of the Saint Magnus Festival Chorus because I've become incredibly fainty as of late. I nearly bite the dust every time I'm at practice! I don't know what gives.... I'm the wimpiest pregnant lady in the universe!!! I see the OB tomorrow morning so I'm going to ask him what's UP with all this fainty stuff. At Mass on Sunday we had a herd of Norwegians (and their Priest!) visiting from Oslo. Much to my horror at the end I nearly hit the floor but I managed to lean against Erlend. I folded my hands and adopted a holy look on my face and hissed at my husband, "If I keel over just put my legs up and don't let anyone call an ambulance! I'm fine!!" Hopefully those walking past thought I was praying... It was great to have visitors and I hope they enjoyed themselves while here ogling Orkney.

**Sigh** What do I post about without PHOTOS of life around here??? Well, we are gaan sooth in a week to inspect a new breed of sheep down in Ayreshire ... or is that Ayershire? Oh brother... anyway, I can't spell. SO, while we are doon sooth we'll hunt around for a camera. YAY!!!

Have a lovely day!

There's not much chance for road rage to exist in Orkney! First of all, rain or shine, the scenery is so fantastic that you can't help but relax as you buzz along the roads drinking in the sights. You also know that at any point in time you'll meet an oncoming car and need to either pull over or wait for someone to pull over so that you can squeeze past so there's no point in getting impatient! Meanwhile, whomever is the one that pulled over gets a cheerful "thank you!" wave from the person driving by and grins and waves are exchanged all around. Alaska didn't have much road rage but my home state sure did and I spent several months being harassed by perpetually angry drivers... it sure is a sweet relief to be here in Orkney where it's totally pointless to get worked up while driving in such beautiful and friendly countryside!

On Weds we're off to Glen App Estate to ogle Easy Care sheep ~ a breed that Erlend has been wondering about for years. On the way down we'll spend the night at Pluscarden Abbey and we've managed to book a sweet little hotel in Girvan. On the way back up we hope to stay at a hotel in Dingwall. It's going to be a nice little trip! I'm also interested in the sheep so that's good. I won't be bored.

I love traveling with Erlend. He's so mellow. He reads the map and drives along without an ounce of road rage or impatience. We enjoy the scenery and the wildlife and if there's time we stop and look at this or that ~ last time it was a horse with a curly coat. We zipped past in the car and Erlend said, "Did that horse have curls?!" Intriqued, we turned around and headed back had a long, satisfying stare at the equally curious horse.

If we get lost or we're late it's no big deal. Erlend pulls over and scrutinizes the map while tactfully (diplomatically?) making polite noises to all of my useless suggestions... Then we're off again without an irritated word having been spoken.

Erlend is a man without a whole lot of entertainment needs and so we are rarely stressed when staying in remote locations or small towns that close down at 5pm. Once we settle at our B&B or hotel he tucks into a book or I say, "Let's go for a walk" and off we go for a walk around whatever place we happen to be. Both of us enjoy just strolling along with each other as company along country lanes or down sidewalks in toons. We peer into shop windows. I admire the objects but I always say, "Don't worry ~ I like to look but I'm don't want to buy everything I see!" (Erlend always looks vastly relieved.) Sometimes we talk, sometimes we just walk and walk and enjoy everything in communal silence. Erlend especially enjoys beaches or anything that has to do with trees! He looooves trees.

Dining is fun with Erlend as well. He's not a picky eater and so he rarely has a complaint. Complaints tend to ruin the moment and with Erlend I rarely have ruined moments. I enjoy the break from cooking and I enjoy seeing Erlend so relaxed and not worried about kye or fences or farm workers pounding on the door with yet another question... I always waffle about what to order and then I decide but when my plate arrives I announce that what Erlend has chosen is what I should have ordered. We then swap half-and-half while Erlend chuckles and shakes his head at his silly "buddoo."

By the time our trip has ended we are both homesick for the farm and the return journey is filled with anticipation. We drive and drive, then we wait in the parking lot at Thurso, then we rock across the Pentland Firth and greet Orkney with huge grins! As we drive through the familiar scenery in the evening light we comment on how happy we are to be back. That night as we settle into our familiar bed we smile at one another. "That was a fine trip but it's good to be home again!"

I fall asleep and then I wake up and I sigh. "Back to cooking! No more eating out!" but it's fine. I like to cook and I've missed plying my art of burning water...

Ahhhhh... I couldn't have found a lovlier man to marry!!

I apologize if I confused anyone with my long comment in the other post in response to a question about how to find a great man like my Erlend. Do understand something that is very important: I don't believe that the art of "Treat others as you want them to treat you" and not feeling sorry for one's self every time we perceive that we've been "wronged" = being a doormat. I have no time for people becoming beat-down doormats. I don't believe in that. But on the other side of the coin I also have no time for militant "poor me" nonsense either. Life isn't about keeping track of every little insult and wrong done against me ~ it's about forgiving, forgetting, and letting go of the small pointless battles that only bring discord when fought. This is not "being a doormat" ~ this is being sensable and admitting that the Universe doesn't revolve around me. If Erlend makes a human error and "wongs" me in a non-abusive way I can choose to just let it go and get over myself and move on... or I can choose to get worked up and proud and feel like a victim. Choosing to show respect, to let the small pointless battles pass by, to not nit-pick and criticize... this is not about being a doormat ~ It's about not being a selfish nagging brat puffed up with pride. (Trust me, I'm verrrrrrry good at being just that!)

Peace begins within myself and then spreads outwards. If I get worked up about someone else's mistakes and faults and/or I get on my high horse and nitpick and criticize people... that's not going to create peace. That's going to create tension and misery in every one of my relationships. As long as someone isn't actually hurting me or anyone else... Who cares if a friend cuts me off when I'm talking so that he/she can butt in and share an opinion? Who cares if Erlend tracks mud on the kitchen floor? Who cares if a family member picks their teeth at the table while we are eating out? Who cares if a neighbor laughs like a hyena while we are talking in a shop?? There is so much more to life then getting hung up about the supposed "inferiority" of those around me. Huh! To do so would suggest that I honestly believe I do nothing that is embarassing or untoward... I walk on water... I'm perfect...

I don't think so!! All I have to do is roll out of bed in the morning and I'm already making mistakes!! I'm 100% certain that there are plenty of people who cringe while visiting with me or cringe while out in public with me... you know, like my poor mortified neighbor who was looking for the bathroom at a shop in Kirkwall and I bellowed to a sales-clerk from across the room, "EXCUSE ME BUT WHERE IS THE TOILET?? SHE (**pointing finger at neighbor**) NEEDS IT!!"

I know that I've married a totally human man complete with faults and failings. (He's not abusive though. I avoid abusive people.) Erlend isn't perfect and neither am I and this means that there will be plenty of issues cropping up betwen us every single day. I have the free will choice to latch on to the problems or to let them go and not get worked up about them. This is the foundation upon which I have tried to build a peaceful, respectful, and loving marriage ~ and so far it seems to be working. I mean... what is gained when I criticize Erlend or when I hold on to every little wrong he does against me?? Do I seriously need to gripe at him about squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube? Do I seriously need to jump on his case every time he gets snippy with me? Or is it more helpful to realize that uh... it's just toothpaste and uh... maybe my man is exhausted and frustrated from work and I should forgive him for getting snippy instead of demanding justice? (Besides, I'm sure I do plenty of irritating things myself...) Making a cup of tea while smiling past my anger goes a lonnnnnng way towards restoring the peace whereas saying, "You're being such a jerk and I demand that my offended feelings be asauged!" only compounds the tension. Sure, I have legitimately been wronged by my husband when he's snippy but how is the problem solved when I go on the war path each and every time? Can't I just let it go and move on in the name of peace?? How is choosing the latter option "being a doormat"? I think it's more along the lines of acting like a mature adult instead of being a spoiled brat that thinks the Universe revolves around me and my precious widdle feelings and by golly if any of you so much as step out of line...

I dunno... I've discovered that letting go, moving on, and not being a critical jerk has worked wonders in my marriage! And when I catch myself fall into jerk-mode for the 833rd time that day... I eat a big fat slice of humble pie and apologize. WHO am *I* to think that I have the right to point my finger at another person?? "Erlend, you washed the dishes but there was some food stuck to several of the plates..." Oh yeah right, and *I* am so perfect in all of *my* chores?? I don't think so... and so I grit my teeth, swallow my pride and force myself to say, "Hey, at least this hard-working farmer came inside at 11pm and washed the dishes! Get over yourself, Michelle!"

That's not being a doormat ~ that's being realisitc. I make just as many mistakes as the next person. Since when did God appoint me as the Local Saint?? Er... He didn't, therefore it's time to get off of my high horse and seek peace in my relationships. And yeah, I'll get critical or grumble at least 1,583 times a day but that doesn't mean I should stop trying to continue weeding pride out of my garden.

The same concept goes for friends, family members, co-workers, neighbors... I'm not being a doormat or advocating that anyone else becomes a doormat. What I'm saying is: Pride is the root of most of our personal problems and sufferings. If we weed pride out of our lives we'll find that we are a lot happier and not such poor offended victims. Narcissism does not bring peace into my relationships or into my daily life...

When I write about being so happy with my wonderful Erlend I'm not making anything up. I'm not glossing over things and creating a fictional "Blog Erlend" that does not exist ~ and the same goes for anyone else I write about. It's not about "faking it" and pretending folk are perfect when it comes to my relationships ~ it's about eating a lot of humble pie and reminding myself on a daily basis that *I* am not perfect and therefore I have no right to focus and obsess about the imperfections of others. I've learned that there are no perfect people out there ~ just regular human beings like myself. Sure, some of these human beings can be abusive and if that's the case I remove myself from such relationships and "kick the dust from my feet." I do not advocate that any man or woman rolls over and becomes a brainless doormat that shuffles their feet and says, "Yes, massa!" to an abusive other. At the same time I do advocate that folk seek peace by kicking pride out the door ~ this is the first step to what looks like a "perfect" marriage or friendship... humility is the key to sanity and contentment in life! But humility does not automatically equal being a brainless doormat that lets oneself be walked all over by abusive jerks. It pays to separate "Humility" from "Doormat" in our minds... otherwise we can lose the plot.