成人快手

Ok, WHEN is the Transformers movie going to arrive in Orkney?? I'm dying here! All of my buddies in America have already watched it and I'm absolutely chomping at the bit waiting for our turn! I'm a total Transformers chick - I grew up playing with the toys and watching the cartoons! (I regret terribly having sold my Optimus Prime for 25 cents at Aunt Deb's tag sale back when I was 15...)

When my little girly friends would be playing with their barbie dolls I'd show up to their wee tea parties with a armed-to-the-teeth Transformer robot sporting a flowered barbie hat. They'd be like, "Um...Michelle..."

When the Transformers movie came out I couldn't help but wonder what my cousin Becky was thinking. For years my bright-minded sister-cousin had to endure watching Transformer cartoons and playing with my treasured robot toys for hours on end. My cousin Becky was always a super-talented dancer and very skilled in anything else that had to do with movement of the body - gymnastics, flag squad, roller skating and so on... She has been dancing since she was in the womb, basically. I myself was better at crashing through the woods and chasing the boys around with a captured garter snake... (hehehe!! I always knew where to find the snakes!!)

Becky never ran from the darn things though, try as I might to terrorize her with them. It was mostly the BOYS that were terrified of snakes!! Becky and I loved the slithery things...

While Becky would be on stage wowing the audience - or scoring the latest 110% on an algebra exam - I'd be struggling to do my long division and tying my sisters to a tree.

When I'd be sent off to Aunt Deb's so Becky and I could play (how I miss those fun days!) my twinkle-toe cousin would set up a dance stage and attempt to teach me her latest routine. I'd try and squeeze myself into one of her flashy costumes - they always ended up two feet too short and bursting at the seams - and start prancing around feeling like an idiot. If I was lucky I could get one of her tiny tutus to fit onto a thigh...

Becky would float like an enchanted fairy and here I'd come bounding along like an ox accompanied by the sound of costume material splitting from internal pressure. Our admiring audience (Aunt Deb) would try hard to clap and cheer as I swept the pictures off of the wall while "dancing" my solo.

After about fifteen minutes of me bumbling my larger frame into poor Becky (most of my family members come up to my shoulders - it's the Crow Indian in me...) and knocking the furniture over I would give up and say, "Ok that was FUN! Now let's pretend we are Transformers!!!!!" And Becky would promptly be hauled off stage while the stressed costume would be tossed by the wayside.

I don't remember Becky ever really resisting - she was always a very nice cousin. Or maybe she had a deep sense of pity for me?? (Or maybe her head hurt after getting thunked a few times by my flailing ("dancing") arms??)

Anyhoo, Becky would cheerfully ask me which Transformer I wanted to be. I always said, "A horse!"

"Michelle..." Becky would reply patiently "There are no horse Transformers. They are cars and planes and other kinds of mechanical things. So...I want to be so-and-so. Who are you going to be?"

"A horse!" I'd announce and then I'd promptly "transform" into a "horse" and "gallop" around the yard, laser guns blazing. "LET'S BEAT THE DECIPTICONS AND SAVE THE UNIVERSE!" I'd screech happily as Becky gave up and joined in. I'd show off by scurrying up whatever tree had been dubbed "The Ark" and she'd outdo me by shimmying her smaller frame to the very top branch. There she'd take charge while I sat on my lower branch having to take commands from my far superior cousin. "Arm the laser cannons Autobot Horse! Bring all weapons on line!" she'd yell from her lofty perch. I'd quickly gather pine cones and take aim at her unsuspecting little brother...

(By the way, "The Ark" was the name of the Autobots' space ship. Just in case you were curious...)

Ahhhhhh Becky, remember those fine summer days?? Or did you need years of therapy to recover from playing Transformers with me for years on end??

It is with major excitement that I await the arrival of the Transformers movie here in Orkney. The only thing that could make it better would be watching it with Becky!! (While sitting in a tree!!)

By the way - it was the Transformer character known as "Rachet" that inspired me to become a medic! He was the ambulance Autobot that fixed everybody up. I had no desire to be a doctor but I still wanted to help people. I wondered how I would achieve this goal?? When I started watching the Transformer cartoons I was totally enraptured by Ratchet. "THAT'S what I'll be!" I cried. "A medic!!"

I remember when I responded to my first 911 call up in Alaska the first thing I thought of was that Rachet character. As we bumped along the icey road with the lights flashing and the sirens wailing I raised a silent toast to good ol' Rachet and thanked him for his excellent example!!

Breaking news at the farm:

I lay down for a wee nap as a soft summer breeze fluffed the curtains and filled the room with the fresh scent of grassy fields and wildflowers. Suddenly a cacophony burst through the window!! "MOOOOOOOOOOOO!! For the LOVE of God MOOOOOOOOOO!!!" roared three fields of very freaked-out cattle.

I jumped from the bed, stuffed my feet in my boots and bolted outside. As I trotted down the driveway I saw that Torf's harem were all bunched together, roaring, as they looked down the farm roadway. "MOOOOOOOOO!!!" they howled as one. The stots in the field alongside of the roadway were boggling as well! So were the heifers that made up Prince Chan's harem at the back of the hoose! Goodness sakes what was going on? King Tut materialized out of the bushes and wound his way around my ankles while adding to the symphany with his meows. I had to scuff my feet in mincing steps like a Geisha in order to avoid trampling him...

I looked down the roadway. Nothing. I looked up and down the public road. Nothing. I scanned the fields to see if a calf was stuck in a fence (or lose?). Nothing. I checked to make sure they had fresh water in their troughs. It was there. So...what was the problem?? I turned around to the roaring coos and said, "What is wrong ladies? What are you trying to tell me? I don't speak Cow!"

"MOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOO!!" They replied, urgently.

Finally I had to give up and call Erlend. As I walked away Torf's herd followed me and roared at me as if to say, "Hey STUPID where are you going?? Didn't you hear what we said??"

Erlend's phone rang a second or two and then, "Yeah?" (tractor sounds in background.)

"Hey Err, it's me!" I bellowed into the phone.

"Ok..." Erlend replied, obviously confused.

"Look, there's something wrong with the cattle - everyone seems to be screaming their heads off about something!"

Erlend didn't even miss a beat. "There's a lamb oot in the roadway!" he hollered over the loud tractor rumblings. "I didnae hiv time tae deal wi 'im because I'm raking hay."

I sat there for a second and tried to make sense of the situation. Finally I just blurted out what was on my mind.

"Are you telling me that the cattle are tattling on the lamb???"

"Yeah." Erlend said matter-o-factly, as if cattle always go around telling you what's up. "There's a lamb oot - and they ken."

"Uh...well...uh...ok...I'll go and get the lamb back in." I babbled stupidly as the cattle continued to roar.

"Thanks, babe!" Erlend chirped and hung up his phone. I hung up the house phone and sat there scratching my head for a second or two. Farm animals aren't as dumb as I thought...

When I went back outside I met the full onslaught of Torf's harem: they came racing to the fence and started yelling again. Only this time I could translate the Cow Speak: "THERE'S A LAMB OOT!!!" They led me to the roadway and sat there staring over their fence rather pointedly.

"Ok! Ok!" I said as I opened the gate and headed down the dusty road. Torf's harem mooed their thanks as the stots ran up to meet me along their fenceline. Prince Chan's harem took up the alarm and followed the baffled lamb long their fence line. "He's over here! MOooooooO!!! Come on!!!"

I found one of Blue Bu....er....Blue Gluteus Maximus's shy lambs out on the farm roadway looking a tad bit desparate. "Maaaaaaahhhh!" he wailed. "MOOOOOOOOO!!!" screamed the cattle. The stots escorted me down the roadway tossing their heads and boggling at me to hurry up. Blue Gluteus Maximus's lamb saw me and came running - up to a point. He did screech to a halt when he was too close for comfort.

After fanagling a few gates and herding the lamb into the short roadway and then shutting him in, I was able to return the lamb to his flock and the cattle immedately fell silent. Within minutes about 150 bovine heads settled nose-first into the grass and began to graze away. I walked back into the house with goose-bumps covering every inch of my skin!!

Wow!!

Oooooooh boy did I have the time of my little social life last night!! Wur dear friends John and Sue took me, Erlend, and their brother and sister out to the concert put on by these two guys named Ally Bain and Phil Cunningham. It was held at the very square Stromness Town Hall. (Square as in shape...) I always love walking up The Hill Of Doom in Stromness - it's rather bonnie and there are all sorts of wee lanes to peek into as you stroll along. And trip over the cobble stones...

I had seen Phil Cunningham back in 2005 when I attended a concert in the same Town Hall. I had no idea that he was famous. He sure was funny! And he played the accordian like I never knew it could be played! All I'd ever known of accordians was back home at Saint Kaz Hall on Avenue A in Turners Falls. It was usually accompanied by ancient Polish men singing polka songs. I had no idea that anyone else used accordians until Phil Cunningham played his so fast I thought his fingers would fall off.

I had listened to a squeaky old Ally Bain cassette tape a few times in the Massey Ferguson as I helped shift cattle or move tires. Erlend had told me that he was a Shetland fiddler and they played really fast. From the sounds issuing from the Furgy's speakers I was convinced that Ally Bain must be a highly skilled android: no human could play a fiddle that fast!

So it was with some excitement that I crammed myself into the packed Stromness Town Hall and reveled in being surrounded by humanity. (Humans! Oh it's been soooo long since I've heard the buzz and roar of a room full of my fellow humans!!)

First on stage were two lads who were announced as Colin and Colin. Turns out that Colin #1 was a Craig. So we were quickly swept away by the amazing talent of Colin and not-Colin. Holy cow!! I studied fiddle for over two years back in Alaska and compaired with these two I sound like a chicken scratching a few old piano strings. That was some entertainment! **APPLAUSE**

They were funny too. Seems to be a trait amongst Orcadians...

After Colin and not-Colin exited the stage Phil Cunningham and that clever android-in-disguise Ally Bain took their seats. It seemed like the moment Mr. Cunningham opened his mouth the place was howling with laughter.

Every time they played a song I sat there with my mouth hanging open. First of all, I had no idea it was possible for one man to play both the song - and the accompaniment on an accordian. Now how on earth does a human being get their brain around that? Maybe Phil Cunningham is an android too????

While Ally Bain played the fiddle the firefighter in me watched his instrument like a hawk. I couldn't not believe how fast that bow was going - or his fingers on the strings for that matter! Even though I was sitting there witnessing this event with my own eyes I'm still in shock. Erlend wasn't kidding: Shetland fiddlers play durn fast! He was engaging in every aspect of the fire tetrahedron: at any moment I expected the friction from the bow to cause the wood of the violin to begin to chemically decompose thus emitting flamable vapors that would ignite into sustained combustion...how long before we'd have flashover in the Hall???

Alas! The gods of music must have been smiling on us as nothing burst into flames - neither Ally Bain's fiddle or Phil Cunningham's accordion. And as far as I'm concerned, the concert ended too soon! Those two should have been chained to the stage and urged to continue for at least another three hours.

I wish they had played that "How Much Is The Doggy In The Window" backwards Cajun tune a bit longer...I was absolutely SCREECHING with laughter! (Thanks, guys. I needed a good abdominal workout!!) Hooooweee! Ca c'est bon! Laisser les bons temps rouler!

I hope they come back again soon!!!!! I'll be standing by with the Stromness Fire Brigade...

You know what struck me the most?? How humble these two incredibly talented men were. I have no idea how they managed to be surprised and humbled by our screeching howling hand-clapping praise at the end of such an amazing concert. Such skill!! They get up there and play like ain't nobody's business!!! And yet there they were bowing and thanking us if we were overdoing it with our cheers and they couldn't figure out why!

After the concert ended we all stopped at John and Sue's brother and sister's house (I don't like to say too many names on the internet...) for a chat and a cuppa. Well! We were given the royal treatment as John's Sister whipped up a feast fit to beat the band! Rolls with ham, sweet tart things, cheeses, grapes, biscuits...wow!! I had this dainty glass full of this sweet purple stuff called Port and ugh...it hit me like a ton of bricks. I won't have that stuff again. I'll stick with juice. But the food was faaaaantastic! And what fun to sit amongst friends feasting away and talking about an awesome concert! By the time Erlend and I collapsed into bed last night I felt as if my batteries were fully re-charged with human interaction!

All this music! Orkney is SO musical!! I'm dying to get back into music again. I know Phil MakeMeLaughToDeathham and Allydroid Bain o' The Fingers of Warp Speed might feel disapointed though because their concert didn't inspire me to leap back into the fiddle just yet. What I'm dying for is OPERA!! I was juuuuust starting to get it when I left Alaska and married this farmer man o' mine. (FC I'm trying to fatten him up - he eats like a horse and gains nary an ounce!)

I remember my one, and only, time that I got on stage and sang opera. I was on duty at the firehouse when the tones went off: Forest Fire! Oh boy! A cabin had caught on fire and set the surrounding woods on fire and we soon found ourselves racing to the scene. What I remember most is how the protective cover fell off of my pulaski axe just as I launched myself (and the 45lb water pack on my back ugh!) over a ravine. As I landed it cracked me in the thigh and I was sure I had opened myself up! I was also sure I was going to bleed to death before I'd admit to anyone that I just laid my own thigh open with all that "whatever you do, do NOT carry your pulaski this way" training that I seemed to have forgotten in the crucial moment...

Luckly, I wasn't sliced.

After several exhausting hours fighting a slowly creeping and HOT AS YOU KNOW WHERE wildland fire I found myself on the phone to my opera teacher.

"Uh...we have a problem."

"What is it?"

"I dunno if I can make it to the concert..."

"Why not??"

"Well...the concert is in ten minutes. It will take me 9 minutes to arrive and I just got back from a wee forest fire - I stink, my hands are black and I'm in uniform. There's no way I have time to go to my cabin, clean up, change into my dress and arrive at the concert."

There was a moment of silent contemplation on the other end of the phone. Then my esteemed teacher announced, "Come as you are. I want you up on stage - you need to do this!"

Gulp!!

And so I found myself standing very akwardly on a small stage facing a friendly (but very curious) crowd whilst decked out in my flattering smelly uniform, dirty sooty boots and black fingernails. This was my first time ever being on stage singing in front of anyone!! Everyone else who had been on stage before me were dressed so nice in gowns or suits. I wanted to sink through the floor and DIE!

My opera instructor stood up and explained very quickly to the audience why I was looking so ... filthy. And then, before I knew it, my accompianist was pounding away on the piano and I launched very badly into, "Alma del core...!"

I was nervous. I knew I looked like something the vultures dragged in! And my own stench was overpowering. Dizzy from the fumes, and tight-throated from sheer terror, I squalled my way through the first two lines sounding somewhat like a badly tuned alley cat.

"Alma del core,... spirto del alma!"

But I was living my dream by golly! I had worked for two long years to get to this point! I was not going to let one silly forest fire ruin my chance of singing OPERA!!!!!! And so I put my shoulders back and sang my heart out!

"Sempre costante,... tadorero!"

And uh...lost my place halfway through.

Horror of horrors, I found my poor little brain pulling a complete blank. I stood in all my filthy glory smiling and trying to act as if we were simply enjoying a musical interlude (I mean who in the audience could acctually understand the Italian I was belting out??) whilst my accompianist continued to repeat the chord. That chord came around and around again about ten times... Beads of cold sweat began to form on my forhead as my tongue went dry. I sent up a quick prayer to God..."Uh...Dear God, I know you are really busy dealing with like...world famine and war and mudslides...but if you could possibly squeeze in just a tiny nanosecond for little ol' me down here on this stage..."

C'mon brain...work! C'mon...what are the words again?? ARRRRG!!

Suddenly my opera teacher stood up saved my day! To my utter relief she stage-whispered, "Ta-do-re-ro!!"

Here I was wearing "FIRE RESCUE" in bold letters enblazoned across my person - and I was the one being rescued. The irony! The sweet irony!

As soon as my dear wonderful (THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU) teacher whispered tadorero my brain kicked in and I jumped in when the chord came back around. Helmet-hair and all, I was SAFE!

After that I warbled like a songbird - It couldn't get any worse! I was fully relaxed: I had just lived every single stage-related nightmare in the universe! Nothing was going to stop me now! And I'm happy to say that "Alma Del Core" finished out in tune and with its singer grinning like a Cheshire Cat!

After my song was finished I took my bows and felt elated. I had done it! I had stood on stage and sang opera! Holy cow. I humbly left the stage and returned to my seat. As soon as I sat down the back of the chair came undone and I flipped over backwards...

I kid you not. My life is never dull.

Orkney inspires me to return to music. (And art! And writing!!) Thanfully there are no forests to catch on fire here...

How awful that foot and mouth has broken out. I hope that the powers-that-be are able to contain it! It would be dreadful if farmers had to have all of their animals slaughtered. Not only is that a sad thing to endure - but it would ruin them!

Everything is tied up. We aren't even allowed to walk our animals down a road in order to shift them to a new field. I'm so thankful that we moved Torf's harem the other day - they were oot of grass in the field across the road! And I'm glad we got Mr. Busy Ram Lamb up to the other farm with the other boys. He was proposing marriage to the yows... and they were wanting to accept! I guess the days are short enough now to get them hearing wedding bells.

We can't sell any animals either. So we have no idea what is going to become of our lambs - Erlend says we'll have to just sell them to the slaughterhouse which means we might not get very good prices for them. Auctioning is the best way to sell them usually...

We were heading to the East Mainland Show to observe how the sheep were shown in the ring - but that part of the show is not going to happen. Erlend says that our Dounby Show might not even happen. He said it will take probably a month for animal movements to get back to normal - assuming, that is, that the foot and mouth has successfully been contained.

We have cattle on rented land out in Rendal. Hmmmm. This is going to be interesting when it comes time to shift them - because we can't shift them!

I feel very badly for the farmers who have loads of animals that they were planning to sell soon - they won't be able to house and feed them if they can't sell them!! Erlend has been on the phone all morning talking to the cattle movement people and whatnot. And fellow farmers. Everyone in the farming community is abuzz...

Oh happy day! My lovely pet coo is in calf - and now she won't have to be culled from the herd. I'm SO GLAD I spoke up that day when she was being prepared to be sent off. The veet came and PD'd the heefiers and Mable (a totally undignified job!!) and sure enough she found "buttons" forming on Mable's womb and the main calf vein pulsing with life. YIPPEEE!!! Mable is saved!!

First it was Dag and his family. Then it was a very nice lady. I won't name her since I forgot to ask permission to put her name here. I'll just call her "Plant Lady" as she gave me a most lovely purple plant! Sadly the camera is down or else I'd post a pic!

Just when you think you are going to burst under the pressure of "the blues" folk rally behind you and push you back upright. Everyone here on IB came out of the woodwork to cheer me out of my I'veMovedSoFarAwayFromEverythingIKnow blues.

Then friends invited us out to a lovely concert.

And then another friend (from America!) called to announce that she was here in Orkney at her house.

And my wonderful husband stood back so that I could dive back into writing my book, and thus regain some of my lost identity. (Anyone married to a (in my case, hopeful) writer can sympathise with my Erlend!)

I joined Another Nameless Friend and Father Ronnie Walls for Mass at the beautiful Italian Chapel this morning - so my day was already starting off really sweet! I wore my brand-new dark blue calico bonnet and my brown velvet dress. It's always fun to dress up! (I've learned that in Orkney it's advisable to wear jeans under your dress as even the smallest breeze is BIG on these islands!)

I returned home to Erlend cooking a roast for dinner. We inhaled it like a pair of starving wolves and were just beginning to lick at the bones when a knock sounded! It was American Friend and her Orcadian Cousin come by for a visit!

And visit we did!!

And right in the midst of one nice visit another person arrived to brighten up the day: Plant Lady and her beautiful daughter.

"You don't know me." she said as she stood in the doorway with a lovely purple plant and a cheerful note. "I lurk on your blog. I felt bad because you were so down the other day - I just wanted to come by and cheer you up!"

I almost burst into tears. We visited for a time and even glossy black King Tut showed up and soon found himself in her arms. Sadly, Plant Lady had to leave. Happily American Friend and her Orcadian Cousin were here - and they delighted in meeting the sheep, wur peedie bull Prince Chan - and his friendly wives.

That day when I posted my lonely thoughts I had gone upstairs and lay on the bed. I felt really bad - like I was being squashed in a vice. And I prayed and asked for help. You can take it or leave it - nae bother tae me - but I can't help but send thanksgivings skyward because ever since my desparate plea for relief I have been innundated with countless earth-bound angles.

One of them looks like a lovely purple plant!

Ok, back to my book. I've pounded out 36 pages in the past two days. The story is just falling out of my head like a waterfall. As I write Erlend sits in his chair sipping tea and just smiles at me in a way that melts my heart. I am literally basking in his full support as I once again tackle one of my biggest dreams: to be an author.

Cheerio. If I stay away too long I'll lose the thread...

Arrrg my camera is still down. Otherwise I'd take a cheesy I-love-Me photo posing with my laptop doing a thumbs up and sipping coffee triumphantly - all at the same time! Because ALAS! I have written the 100th page of my book!! Yes!! Yes!! YES!!! **Happy Dance**

Something about this fresh Orkney air really gets my fingers going...

My backside actually HURTS. It's SORE from being sat upon for hours at a time as the muse perches on my shoulder. I've never written for so long a stretch in my entire life. The story is flooding out of me. If I stop, my brain keeps going of its own accord. I'm beginning to wear out!! But I shall not throw in the towel!!! I'm determined to get this book written by Christmas!!

I broke away from the book long enough to spend an hour at the frantically happy sunshine-filled Dounby Show. I scarfed down two Angus Cheese Burgers and some fries like some kind of starving wolf while Erlend looked on in wonder. (And hogged the catchup!!) We wandered aboot for a while and then I made friends with a bonnie Clydesdale. At first she wanted nothing much to do with me but then I started to scratch her chest. Ahhhh...critters always seem to love that! While I was speaking to Erlend she managed to flip a hunk of hay stright into my open yapping mooth. Now I know first-hand what sputtering and hacking is all about and I can go rewrite that scene...

I was just beginning to enjoy myself when my ankle said GO HOME NOW! And I had to obey. Much to my sore backside's dismay, I returned to the book. Here's a "Coffee Cheer" to all you Island Blogging Folk as I head towards my second landmark: page 200 muwahahahahahahaaaa!

And noo me husband is in (FINALLY) and it's time for dinner CHEERIO!!

"Lemme see...is this thing working...?"


Hmmm...the red tractor is MUCH easier to drive then this one!


I don't live in Orkney. I live on an alien planet where the sky is PINK! (Aside from the pink sky, all of the other bonnie colors are true. Isn't it so colorful here in August?)


King Tut gets jiggy with my ankles


If you don't stop him he'll rub and rub until all his fur falls off...


I've signed up for a painting course with Orkney College YAHOOO!! There was also a Beginner's Norwegian language class but of COURSE it was held on the same day at the exact same time as the painting class. Is there anyone I can talk to to see if they can bump it back a few hours??


Look at that envelope. Ok, granted, I changed my last name to protect the innocent - but look at the address. HOW did this manage to find me? It was a lovely card from a lady in Scotland who was reading some of my articles in a christian ladies magazine (they printed my writing out of christian charity...) ONLY IN ORKNEY!!!

Time for a break...but only a short one.


Hoo wow! I never thought I'd say THOSE words. But it's true. After typing my head off for how long?? ugh, long enough, my first book is finished. And without further ado, I must launch into the sequel while the story is still fresh in my head.

Oh happy day! I'll have to find a way to celebrate...

The scary thing is, here I am birthing a book by blood, sweat and tears - and it may never get published. Oy. The thought is enough to send me into a cold sweat.

Ok, so, my ankle was keeping me awake the other night and as I tossed and turned I heard a really ODD noise outside of the window. I peeked my head out and just as I looked down, something looked up with glowing eyes! I just about died! And whatever it was was making a wacky fast-breathing sound and moving the big rocks away from my flower patch. I dove back in bed and landed in a ball of terror on top of poor Erlend who sprang up with a "Wha? Who? Where??"

"THERE'S AN ALIEN ON THE LAWN!" I shrieked. And of course Erlend being Erlend he wasn't phased. An alien on the lawn? Big deal. He rolled over and went back to sleep while I sat there on the bed for half an hour! I was so horrified I couldn't sleep. Then, the next night we watched "Transformers the Movie" and so I had twice as many imaginings going through my simple little mind every night. And like...when I went out on the lawn the morning after the alien visit I saw all my big rocks moved and UGH! It was freaky.

So anyway last night was a calm night (it was windy for a few nights there...) and I brought a huge flashlight upstairs and forced myself to stay awake and wait for the alien. I had to figure out what was going on because now it gets dark at night (we get 24 hour daylight in summer) and Erlend has the barley harvests coming up which means he's out till 3am working and I'm all alone with a dog growling at the dark window because he can hear the alien too...**Gasp** Wow I said that all in one breath.

I waited and I watied and just when I thought I couldn't pry my eyes open any longer I HEARD IT! I sprang out of bed and with shaking hands I illumiated the lawn and began my search. I almost screamed when the flashlight beam hit the lawn mower (when did Erlend put it THERE?) and then...what was that?? Something zoomed out of the light...I followed it and...IT WAS AN ADORABLE HEDGE HOG EATING SLUGS!

Our wee night visitor - a slug eating, totally friendly non-alien hedge hog! Go figure.

ISN'T HE CUTE?? I watched him zoom around my flower bed for a while. Then I dove back into bed (on top of Erlend again) and announced, "ERLEND THE ALIEN ISN'T AN ALIEN IT'S A HEDGE HOG!"

Erlend murmured something about roast chicken and peanut butter so I uh...let him stay asleep. But I did tell him this morning and we had a good hoot and howl fest!

I'm sooooooo relieved. Because tonight I'm alone and it's pitch black outside and Erlend is off harvesting barley...

It's really odd having the barley harvested in August. This is usually a September harvest! But it's been such a cold and wet summer. (Summer? Hmm. I don't think we've ever left winter. I've had to wear ploar fleece and bonnets all year long!)

Polar Fleece! In August! July! JUNE EVEN! It just KILLS me!

Anyhoo, I digress...

The barley harvest is upon us. Here are some photos!


The crop isn't exactly ripe in these photos but you get the gist: this is one of our barley fields.

Here is a close-up of the bounty! We sure have been blessed indeed! It's golden brown now. But in this photos it's still young barley and a tad green yet. But lovely all the same!

This is a photo of Erlend "bruising barley." The cattle can't digest whole barley grains so they have to be smooshed flat. My husband looks like a duck...

Smooshed barley hehehe! God's bounty sown, grown, harvested and smooshed! The cattle eat this stuff like candy. You should hear them ROAR on Sunday mornings in the winter when we try to sleep in. I swear they have wrist watches under their fur...if it's 8:01am the barns explode with boggles! Sleeping in? Hah. Not an option for farmers!!