成人快手

7:30pm. I am working on my book while the baby steals a nap. I glance at Aunt Diane. "Hmmm. Erlend said he'd be in for tea at seven."

Aunt Diane stares at the dark windows. Outside the snow and wind beats against the glass with gusto. "He's probably standing outside frozen solid." she remarks as she strikes a frozen-farmer pose. We crack up laughing. "Auntie Farmour is being silly!" I say to the sleeping Elspeth.

Aunt Diane had told me that when her kids have grandkids she wants to be called "Farmour", the Swedish title for grandma.

"Ma, we're not Swedish. Our kids are not calling you Farmour." her two sons have informed her.

"That's ok, Aunt Diane." I say. "I'll teach Elspeth to call you 'Auntie Farmour.'"

After some time passes the back door opens and closes and Erlend strolls into the livingroom wearing his moose hide slippers that I bought him for Christmas last year. He does not appear to be frozen solid... "I was a bit delayed up at Overabist." he says as he scoops the baby up from the sofa. She is seated in her vibrating luxury seat and totally thrilled to see her coo-scented daddy.

"Why were you delayed?" I wonder.

"There are twenty-five cattle missing..."

"HUH?! Where'd they go??"

"They lifted a pin from the gate in the byre. I tracked them to the peat hill road above the farm." Erlend tells me as he dances around the livingroom with the baby.

"So... does that mean there's still twenty-five cattle missing?!"

"Aye." Erlend says as he scoots from side to side with a very thrilled Elspeth in her seat in his arms. The soundtrack to the Transformers movie plays in the background while I type away at a space battle scene. Thank GOD I was in the Navy... sure helps me describe shipboard life...

"I figured it wasn't worth trying to find the cattle in the dark in blizzard conditions." Erlend tells me.

"Yeah, good thinking Batman." I say. Elspeth gurgles with glee as she continues to wiz around the room via daddy-power.

Twenty five cattle missing and a galactic battle scene in the making. There's never a dull moment around this joint.

Erlend wanders into the kitchen. I can hear his slippers scuffing on the floor. "Who's up for fried tatties?" he calls out.

"I am!" I say and Erlend sets to work frying up the leftover tatties (potatoes) and neeps (turnip). We sit at the table and dive in. Elspeth sits in her vibrating luxury chair and sooks away on her dummy teat.

"I really like these fried nips." Aunt Diane announces. Erlend pauses in mid-bite. "That's neeps." he says with a grin. He plunges his fork into the jar of beet root and hauls out two slices. He grew the beet and pickled them himself. I hold out my plate. "What are you after?" Erlend wonders.

"One of those." I say and he deposits the larger slice of beet root onto my plate. It's so like him to always give me the best... "I have to get up early in the morning and find these cattle." Erlend tells us.

"How far can they go?" Aunt Diane asks and Erlend laughs. "They can go for miles!"

"Oh my..."

We all wonder why in the world the kye wanted to escape the barn and flee into a cold, snowy night like this??

Elspeth decides that we have had enough down-time and so she bursts into howls of protest. Pay attention to me! I'm bored! Aunt Diane scoops her up and lets her sook from a bottle of water. Elspeth sooks, fusses, sooks, fusses. "I wonder if she has colic pain?" I wonder.

"This is her usual grumpy time." Aunt Diane informs me.

"She's getting earlier with her grump time!" I say - usually I go to bed at 9pm and that's when the wee babe begins her 9pm - 12am fuss time. "I feel bad because I ditch you guys just when the bairn gets riled up."

"It doesn't bother me." Aunt Diane says with a smile as she kisses one of those soft, plump baby cheeks.

The night shift starts at midnight and that's when I drag myself out of the warmth of the bed and tend to the wee bairn. It's amazing: the baby cries and I feel frustrated and annoyed. "I can't DO this." I grumble as I crawl out from under the covers but then as soon as I look down into the bassinette and see her sweet face I'm more then happy to pick her up and tend to her needs.

I was sitting on the bedroom floor at 5:45am burping the bairn while a cow mooed outside for her calf ~ something that can take ages to work, even with her being sat up in her vibrating chair for a good 20 minutes. I was sitting there half awake patting Elspeth's little back. Aunt Diane came into the room. "Do you want me to take her?"

"UUuuuuUUUuuurp!" Elspeth replied and I nod my head. "Yes! If you don't mind..."

Aunt Diane scoops the baby up into her arms. "Come on, let's let mommy get some sleep."

I crawled under the covers, stroked Erlend's sleeping face, and fell sound asleep until 9:30am. I found Aunt Diane downstairs with the baby. "Did you hear that cow mooing all night long?" she asked.

"They do that if their calf won't come through for a sook." I told her. "And they don't give up either! They go alllll niiiiight lonnnnng..." (But now, compared to a howling colicky baby, mooing kye don't even phase me...) I made myself a cup of coffee and sat down with my lap top so I could work on my book while the bairn slept. Outside Erlend chased sheep down the farm road while the snow blew horizontal. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere I go...

Aunt Diane has been an invaluable help this week and I've been able to heal up quite a bit! She's kept the house clean, done laundry, fed and changed the baby when I'm too wiped out to do so... what a RELIEF!! The sofa bed no longer dominates the livingroom because I don't have to lay around all day and today I was able to hold my baby for AGES! I even danced around the livingroom with her in my arms. Elspeth really liked that AND I discovered that she also enjoys my Karsh Kale cds. You know life is going to be good when your own kid digs your music...

Hopefully the kye will fare well up there on the peat banks in this miserable weather. Serves them right, the beasts!! I can hear the snow hitting the windows as I type.

Cheerio fae noo!