成人快手

Aunt Diane left this morning (Saturday) at the refreshing hour of 6am. I remained behind because Erlend determined I was too ill to be leaving the house so early in the morning after pulling night shift with the sleepless leetle beebee. I was soooo sad to see Auntie Farmor leave!! It's been SO wonderful having her here! I stood in the guest bedroom and watched the car headlights disapearing down the dark road. Aunt is such a hoot and so fun and she filled this house with joy these past two weeks ~ not to mention she spoiled Elspeth absolutely rotten with love and attention! Ironically, even as I am trying not to cry about Aunt Diane leaving I'm getting all excited about Cousin Dawn arriving on December 2nd for her two week visit. I am so blessed!

Anyhoo, canny little Elspeth seemed to have picked up on the fact that Auntie Farmor was leaving and thus Mummy would be all alone and at her newborn mercy. Cue the beginning of endless fussing at 2am!!

When daddy came home from the airport at 8am mummy came downstairs with bloodshot eyes, half a head of new grey hairs, and a leaking bottle of milk. I thrust the howling bairn in the general direction of husband's body. (I couldn't actually see anything...) "Take." I slurred and then, after offloading the screeching child, I turned around and stumbled back upstairs. I must have found the appropriate bed because I woke up under my blankets at 11:30am.

Afternoon shift began with a hearty dose of newborn howls. Just when I thought I would lose my mind... the salvation of our sanity showed up in the mudroom via the posty!! The automatic baby swing hath arrived! (Finally.) Now we can put the little miss in there when she gets into one of her I don't want to sleep. Ever. fussy, crying-round-the-clock moods. The latest one started at 2am this morning and hasn't stopped since. SomeoneShootMeNow...

Alas! The swing is here.

Hoo yeah!!!!

I had no idea how to assemble the crazy thing but necessity is an amazing motivator ~ holding the instructions (writen in ten different languages) in one hand and utilizing my other hand and three of my toes I had it cracked together in less the five minutes. And I found four C batteries banging around in an old drawer full of junk! And I figured out how to use the insane harness system that would leave a fighter jet drooling with envy!

(Can you believe the instructions not only came with pictures (nice!) but also sound effects? It showed the parts being shoved together with a loud "CLICK" beside each illustration. I was highly impressed.)

Phone call to Erlend's mobile::

Michelle: "HEY!! The swing has arrived!"

Erlend: (sounding vastly relieved) "That's great!"

Michelle: Yeah but it's battery operated so I need you to get a boatload of 'C' batteries."

Erlend: (Shouting over roar of tractor) "Eh? What size?"

Michelle: "Size 'C', as in 'Dog'."

Erlend: "What?!"

Michelle: "SIZE 'C', as in 'DOG'."

Silence on other end of phone. Then...

Erlend: "Uh..."

Michelle: "Yeah, this thing takes four batteries and that's all I could find in the house. So make sure and get a boat load of 'C' batteries. 'C' as in 'Dog'."

Erlend: "Riiiiight..."

Michelle: "Thank you, beloved husband! I'm going to go take a nap now. I'm exhausted."

Erlend: "Er... yeah... you do that..."

There you have it.

Now, well armed and ready for battle, I await the baby's cries...

Bring it on, kid. Mom will prevail!!!!