成人快手

I thought I would sneak one last post - perhaps - before MC, The husband and I toddle off this mortal isle.

In all the excitement of the Children In Need Concert, I forgot to air my finest chattels, they being a few choice comedic lines, which I can only use in Orkney, so others beware - you may not appreciate this...[translation provided where necessary]

I mentioned CCTV which was installed in Kirkwall relatively recently, of course some farmers have been using it for ages to keep an eye out during calving season. It could be called KCTV (Kye Calving TV).

Mind you the cows now can't get up to the parties to celebrate each arrival under the glare of the cameras, but they could adapt and start up the Evening Moos.

[Kye is orcadian for cow or cows]

Or this...

Whassigo [Radio programme on Radio Orkney] has been good to help me, as a ferry louper, to get used to the Orkney language. I've been able to pick up new words like peedie, meaning small and bruck, meaning a dodgy radio programme.

It's also been good to find out that some words I'd use for one thing Orcadians would use for something else. Such as pooch. I'd use it for a dog, whereas Orcadians would use it for pocket. Before I knew that I was collecting money for charity when someone told me they were going to put their hand it their 'pooch' to get some change out - I was mortified.

I've also found out that raffle not only means a charity draw but getting into a tangle, or even a fight. So that makes charity events in Orkney a dangerous place to be - as there's ALWAYS a raffle involved.

Well that's that off my chest. Now to see if The Husband has packed MC in the process of clearing the office. I'm sure MC was last seen on top of the bookcase, but I hear a rustling from below a pile of boxes. But then, it could just be the mice celebrating MC's impemnding departure.

Only 7 days to go. It could all end in tears...
... and that's just my act. [[[drum roll and cymbal crash]]]

You'll be glad when I'm gone - they always are.