Calling Calumannabel and Donald
Posted: Thursday, 02 March 2006 |
Comments
We're having a meeting about it this afternoon. It will be a proper meeting with minutes and sparkling water. Will report back as soon as... Bring the mediaction anyway - it's always handy for bulls that aren't performing..
Calumatrimony from Banns Cottage Ness
is it really only weeks away? has anyone contacted the transport systems? spew bags at the ready? what do we need to pack? have you got the catering sorted yet? I am going to borrow the enormous pot my mum uses to make marmalade in. are there enough tatties? and is there electricity for our hair straighteners? bring all the medication you have, we'll use it all. I have looked out my girdle, and am looking forward to using it. As for the Arran Vikingesses - there was a TV programme on (Discovery Kids, Mystery Hunters) and they have discovered a race now extinct, of women warriors who spent their lives on horseback, fighting. they had bandy legs to prove it. And they were huge. Strong too. The Arran Viking wimmen can surely swim if the men involved are good enough? these women on TV would have done.
scallowawife from shetland
a thought has occurred - on the catering front - have you remembered to put milk on the list - I think a milkng cow is best, none of that UHT or Carnation. can you arrange it? possibly an Ayrshire or a Luing, definitely not a Highland they're too horny. and a couple of good laying hens would go down a treat. we will need a small house to keep them safe from the flu of course. did I see you own a shop? maybe some d'oylies in case there are any posh folk. and the press men or women will need digestives. they like that kind of thing. and if you can oblige maybe some knitting wool to run up a gansey or two - they'll be some folk to shy to mingle, and knitting is such a good ice breaker, don't you think? size 10 wires is good, and the Shetland women will bring the belts and instructions.
scallowawife from on the way to the travel agents
I’ve been trying to find out how it’s all going to work Sunny and - piecing the available information together - I think that this is how it might be done, if Calum and Donald get their acts together and leave off the pies for 5 minutes. When we arrive at the fank, we’ll all be checked in and given an envelope containing a picture postcard. The envelopes will stop us from cheating and seeing what our pictures are. We will all push the envelopes while we’re waiting for everyone else to arrive and then Calum will give a quick welcome speech to let us know what to expect. Once the dating bit starts, we will gather round large occasional posts displaying big pictures of the same views that are on our cards, e.g. those with cards of the Port of Ness beach will all get together under the matching picture, another group will congregate round the Callanish Stones pic, etc, etc… At five minute intervals, the assembled posties from the Red Arrows display team will sound their whistles and all postcards will be swapped. The posties will enjoy a quick ceremonial strubag and a chat about the weather while the cards are delivered again. This will continue until we have met everyone. Then we will use our sheep pens to address our final postcards to our favourite partners. Those with matches will be paired off and the next round will begin……. How does this sound?
Annie B from Lone Sheiling
Sunny, while your rummaging in the shelves of your shop, see if you find any labels, doesn't matter if the gum has dried up or got damp, country shops are never predictible that way. they will be useful at the fank. I was thinkin, if we write NOT SORTED on every label, then score out the NOT when people get together, it might be very useful. of course if people change their minds, we will need a responsible person to re label them. maybe even some sort of scoring system what do you think? and if people flout the rules or we get some hussy taking advantage there could be a second labelling system, even a punishment system like having to go to the back of the queue.ask Annie Beag what she thinks. is there a quarrantine pen? we could mark hussies by putting them in bold pen.
scallowawife from shetland
Oooh - a bisom biro! Excellent idea. Perhaps we could tattoo trollopes?
Annie B from Lone Shieling
Now, now ladies, I'm sure all fanksters will be good decent people, there will be no need for branding or dipping of any of the entrants... well perhaps some of the bodachs who've been out in the hills too long. My apaologies Sacallowaywife, it's not that sort of shop, although we do sell everything one would need to make a beautifully crafted lable and I can assure you that everything that is supposed to be sticky is sticky and everything that isn't supposed to be sticky certainly isn't! Calumannabel, looking forward to the results of your meeting, did you have minys in a saucer?
Sunny from Arran
We had gold and silver IItalian sugared almonds from Fortnum and Mason at the meeting. Donald will only entertain these or Pan Drops. He gives mints to the sheep.
calumannabel from Lying down in a darkened room
Arran ExPat wandering the world, residing in Cyprus for now with the odd visit home.
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