The woman of your wildest dreams!
Posted: Tuesday, 31 January 2006 |
As Annie Beag has put everyone else to shame by actually making an effort on the Fank match making front I am posting my own profile to encourage all the fine bodachs to contribute. Donald and Calumannabel, ger yer act t'gether!
User Name: Cold and Heartless
Witty One Liner: If I said you had a dead seal would you hold it against me?
Island: Arran
Age: Not got a cat or a comode yet
Star Sign: Nasty scar from a chinese one
Height: Yes
Body Type:
A shape of perfection never imagined in your wildest dreams (lard is my staple diet))
Looks:
Lots of character an' that.
Drinking Habits;
Not tried the Portobello yet but prepared to give it a go.
Smoking Habits:
Started as a nasty rash but if you put a damp cloth over it, might go out
Marital Status:
A good catch with my own lobster pot
Have Children:
Certainly not! I'm not a married lady..
Want Children:
Can you please off load them on someone else before you get to the fank!
Looking for:
A But N Ben with the plumbing and the electric
More about you:
Facinating former Deb. (changed by deed poll) with good sense of natural gas looking for a fine strappin' chiel wi' all his own teeth and a cast iron aliby.
Your Ideal Match: Scotland winning the Calcutta Cup
Dowry Demands: Fully working septic tank, A prize tup and a sharp axe in case of problems later.
Dowry Offer: Wood chopping, peat digging and an interesting approach to gourmet culinary delights.
Important! This field MUST be filled in: Would you describe yourself as any of the following:
Mad
Wacky
Zany
Bunny Boiler
Comb Over
Collector of fluffy toys
People have to take me as they find me!
All of the above
Bunnies, flufffy toys, Bad Hair, Guga, seal etc. prefer them deep fried.
If you fancy your chances leave a message below
User Name: Cold and Heartless
Witty One Liner: If I said you had a dead seal would you hold it against me?
Island: Arran
Age: Not got a cat or a comode yet
Star Sign: Nasty scar from a chinese one
Height: Yes
Body Type:
A shape of perfection never imagined in your wildest dreams (lard is my staple diet))
Looks:
Lots of character an' that.
Drinking Habits;
Not tried the Portobello yet but prepared to give it a go.
Smoking Habits:
Started as a nasty rash but if you put a damp cloth over it, might go out
Marital Status:
A good catch with my own lobster pot
Have Children:
Certainly not! I'm not a married lady..
Want Children:
Can you please off load them on someone else before you get to the fank!
Looking for:
A But N Ben with the plumbing and the electric
More about you:
Facinating former Deb. (changed by deed poll) with good sense of natural gas looking for a fine strappin' chiel wi' all his own teeth and a cast iron aliby.
Your Ideal Match: Scotland winning the Calcutta Cup
Dowry Demands: Fully working septic tank, A prize tup and a sharp axe in case of problems later.
Dowry Offer: Wood chopping, peat digging and an interesting approach to gourmet culinary delights.
Important! This field MUST be filled in: Would you describe yourself as any of the following:
Mad
Wacky
Zany
Bunny Boiler
Comb Over
Collector of fluffy toys
People have to take me as they find me!
All of the above
Bunnies, flufffy toys, Bad Hair, Guga, seal etc. prefer them deep fried.
If you fancy your chances leave a message below
Comments
If you can get a commode we might be on to something.
calumannabel from 12 Steps House AA HQ Ness
02.58!
The sleep fairy from As part of a balance diet one needs a modicum of s
Nicely done Sunny. Just wish I'd thought about a septic tank though. By the way some of the Northern Isles blogs are getting very scary now. Damadcoo and Evil Twinny have snaps of animals that look almost human. I think they've gone well beyond IT... Chek out some of the fashions though. I've asked for hints.
Annie B from Lone Sheiling
I was admiring Dammacoos eyelashes, where do you think she gets them?
Sunny from Arran
Sunny - Never mind the Northern Isles Stephen's blogs are getting quite scary too. He says that there are a number of gays and lesbians on Arran who own craft shops and make candles. I think we need to have a talk at the fank!
calumliberal from gay gordon's bar, stornoway
Sleep Fairy, I'm an insomniac. You of all people really shouldn't comment. If you think you're so clever you can get over here and sort this not sleeping thing out!
Sunny from Arran
If you're that much of an insomniac why not start a Hard Talk Fan Club for those short of sleep as a tribute to overnight television. Maybe Godwin could be a patron? You'll have no problems sleepwise at the fank - there'll be loads of sheep to count .
calumaffable from the sleep institute stornoway
Sleeping!!! Will there be time at the Fank for that?
Foxy from Nearer than you think
Calumn that is definitely a possibility as I have an indepth knowledge of late night TV. There was a facinating report on the Sky at night 2.45am this morning about the horsehead nebula, the trouble is I don't know anyone else who saw it so pointless info as usual. So if there are some other insomniacs we can all be sad Signing Zone fans together. Having said that Foxy isn't helping any, that sounds some what alarming! How am I going to get to sleep now?
Sunny from Wide Awake At 3am Again Land
A doctor writes: The horsehead nebula is a tricky blighter. At this time of year the female lays the eggs inside discarded half whisky bottles left beside highland tracks. The lava feeds on the nutrients in the bottle till hatched then moves to a place in the heather from where it can bit the ankles of unsuspecting walkers. Once bitten the victim has an irrational urge to eat Spam and to get an ankle tattoo. The only danger from this mild condition is that often while disorientated, victims cut themselves on the Spam Tin. Fortunately this sort of self abuse is rare. Many victims go on to be successful actors, journalists, hold positions of responsibility in the media or run their own businesses.
Dr Calum Snoddy from The Ben Fogle Health Centre Ness Lewis
Do you think a hot drink of liquidised spam would help the sleep problem? The resultant blood loss should certainly help me on my way. Do you think if Tom Hanks hear's about the insomnia he'll paddle over here on his rubbery face? If he does we could tow him behind the longship on the way to the fank incase there isn't room in the boat.
Sleepless from In Arran
are yous nut all nutters
josmac from in the hoose
Arran ExPat wandering the world, residing in Cyprus for now with the odd visit home.
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