成人快手

By Sam Arnold

*Wildcard Entry*

'Cut!'

Baron Von Misborg, Hollywood's most experienced director threw his pen away in disgust. His new film was not going well. His aim was to make a horror film so scary that they would have to create a new rating, BYOCTHB+SP (bring your own cushion to hide behind plus spare pants). The problem was the actors just weren't scary enough.

The Baron stroked his pointed beard and stared into space. Who could he get to replace these poor actors. That Voldemort guy? Too human looking. Daleks? Too much like Dr Who, but wait a minute a robot wasn't a bad idea.

The next day the Baron visited the office of CYCEPS. 'Can I get you anything?' said the receptionist. Just as the Baron was listing all the things he wanted he was interrupted by a buzzer and the receptionist said, 'Mr Riretbel will see you now.'

William Riretbel, CEO of CYCEPS was sat behind his large desk, his grim expression unchanging as the Baron entered.

'So you want a robot, a scary robot,' said Riretbel. 'Well, I can make you the scariest robots of all time.'

'Excellent!' said the Baron and he eagerly signed the contract. As he left the building he had a nagging feeling that something was not quite right.

'It's a rap!' exclaimed the Baron rubbing his hands with glee.

The movie was complete and everyone on set agreed that it was the scariest film ever.

Back in William Riretbel's office the CYCEPs CEO was also rubbing his hands in glee but he was letting out a maniacal 'Mwah Ha Ha' that echoed throughout the building. He pressed the big red button that was conveniently in front of him on his large desk. 'It is time!' he said evilly and he rubbed his tiny chin strap beard and walked to his office window. '5, 4, 3, 2, 1' he muttered softly under his breath.

BANG BOOM CRASH!

Suddenly the large H from Hollywood exploded, followed by the O, L, L, Y. As if pushed from the ground by magic D, I, E emerged.

'I love it when a plan comes together, Mwah ha ha ha.'

Back at the Baron's movie set things were going crazy. The robots were destroying everything in sight. Lasers fired from their hands, fire breath came from their mouths and knives shot from their soulless eyes. They were coming straight for the Baron. With no time to think he picked up his Director's chair as a shield and his megaphone to use as a club.

'DESTROY - DESTROY - DESTROY' came the robotic voices as they inched closer to their prey.

Suddenly The Baron saw a marking on the robots he had missed before 'Property of CYCEPs W. Riretbel'. The Baron had always been a fan of crosswords and loved a good anagram - he knew those letters spelt something. 'Belt Rire!' he shouted. 'Terrible. That's it - Terrible. William Terrible. I should never have trusted a guy with a chinstrap beard!'

TBC