成人快手

By Rowan Golon

Once there was a princess called Pumpletoot she lived with the king and queen of Jellybean town. She was 5 years old and had a ghastly habit.....of pumping! She tried to hide this from other people.

Today she was starting her first day at school. She was scared of setting off an enormous pump. She took a deep breath, she went into school with a pink fluffy unicorn bag and got through the day without anyone knowing her embarrassing secret. She was glad nobody had found out her secret habit. She hoped the next day would be just as good as her first day because she had made 3 new friends they were called Molly, Muffin and Gooseberry. If they had found out she would have no friends. She went into school the next morning. The teacher Miss Muffinjam said to everyone get your gym kits its time for gym. At gym you are going to be doing yoga. Its very relaxing for the body and its okay if you do a pump. Just say the polite word 'pardon me'.

Oh no Princess Pumpletoot thought, relaxing for the body how can I cope with this. When she got her leggings on she let of a silent pump but no one found out. Its time to do gym said Miss Muffinjam. Here I go thought Pumpletoot. First in gym we are going to be doing the 'angry cat' Miss Muffinjam carried on. Pumpletoot thought that is the move when you have to stick your bum in the air and put your hands and feet on the ground. She was nervous but she got through the move without doing a stinker. Next move class said Miss Muffinjam is 'child pose'. Here I go thought Pumpletoot placing her hands on the floor and bending forward. As she stretched she felt a gurgle in her tummy.....oh no she thought I am going to do it. I will have to try to hold it in. She tried and tried but she could not stop it. PPPPPPPUUUUUMMMMPPPP!! It came out as fast as a rocket going into space, as loud as 20,000 fireworks going off at once and as smelly as 500 tones of elephant poo! It was so fast so loud and so smelly that the school roof flew off.

Pumpletoot ran out the gym hall crying and ran all the way home. What's wrong dearie? asked the queen. I pumped in front of the whole class when we were doing yoga. Come here said the king angrily. As Pumpletoot walked towards the king he picked her up and stuck a cork in her bum. That will keep all the gas in said the king, no more blowing off any more roofs for you young miss. Just then Pumpletoot or should I say Burpletoot let out the most enormous burp she had ever done and blew the castle roof off!! It used to go down but now it goes up said Pumpletoot.