成人快手

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Poor things...

Bryan Burnett | 19:57 UK time, Tuesday, 1 March 2011

Our Scottish connections theme brought out some clever suggestions. We had Emmylou Harris, Huey Lewis and loads for the band Stornoway. The Tubes were requested for the inventor of the pneumatic tyre, Steam was played for James Watt but it was the puns that I particularly enjoyed. For artists we had suggestions for Crystal Gael and Cuillin The Gang and here鈥檚 just some of the very funny song titles you asked for:

Killin Me Softly
Buckfast At Tiffanys
Canna Get A Witness
Wherever Islay My Hat
A Forres

And that sound of music classic: 鈥Iona hill stood a lonely goat鈥︹

Tomorrow might sound like an excuse for me to play back to back Morrissey but it wasn鈥檛 even my idea I promise. It鈥檚 鈥榓rtists feeling a bit sorry for themselves鈥 so could include things like Poor, Poor Pitiful Me or Victim Of Love. Although if they are like that then Make Me Smile(Come Up and See Me) will be needed before eight o鈥 clock.

Comments

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  • Comment number 1.

    Two Maavericks options:
    All you ever do is bring me down;
    Neon blue.

    More to follow


    Joe
    Linlithgow

  • Comment number 2.

    it's just got to be on the playlist...

    I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry ~ Hank or Johnny & Nick's cover please.

  • Comment number 3.

    Baby I'm a fool - Melody Gardot
    All good things come to an end - Nelly Furtado
    Goodbye to love - the Carpenters
    Heart like a sad song - Trish Yearwood
    Easier to foget - Allison Moorer
    So sad - Emmylou Harris

    More to follow

    Joe
    Linlithgow

  • Comment number 4.

    Is it too soon to ask for a song hasn't been around for ages?
    I find some of their stuff a bit twee, but when I first heard this one (probably last October on my way home from visiting my Norskie clan, so possibly in a bit of a mind mess) I was absolutely hooked.
    Belle and Sebastian I Want The World To Stop
    Epic, poetic, symphonic, electronic. Love it.


    emo doll

  • Comment number 5.

    And to think our list of 200 Scottish town puns never got a menshie....


    Wednesday
    One of the great angry vocals full of frustration
    It should've been me / Yvonne Fayre

    And a great male vocal
    On my own / Michael McDonald and Patti La Belle



    Do we get a free pack of razors with tonights show? Two hours of woe is me could take some getting!

  • Comment number 6.

    There's going to be floods of tears in the studio I just can't see such a loving caring soul being able to hold it together through 2hours of sad and miserable songs.

    Hopefully Barbara will be on hand to help keep Bryan together.....

  • Comment number 7.

    How do you spell love? (M-O-N-E-Y) - The Fabulous Thunderbirds

  • Comment number 8.

    WEDNESDAY


    Remember, you said you always gonna love me; remember, you said you'd never ever leave me...

    'Stay With Me, Baby' - Kiki Dee


    This old house is falling down around my ears. I'm drowning in a river of my tears.

    'Dimming of the Day' - Bonnie Raitt


    I called her from a phone booth in St. Paul. When I asked her if she loved me I got no reply at all.

    'Mister DJ' - Charlie Daniels Band


    Once it seemed there would always be a time for everything.

    'A Time for Everything?' - Jethro Tull


    Geeza brekk!

    'Soul in Chains' - Sensational Alex Harvey Band

  • Comment number 9.

    #6 Norrie - maybe we need something colourful and optimistic to break up the breakdowns
    Rainbow Since You've Been Gone
    since they missed out last night.........
    I could ask for a replay of Gorgeous GM and his plea for some loose change from his bro', but I've had it played and won't be greedy.
    (Cue for some Oliver Twist songs??? I'm only asking for Tuppence.)

  • Comment number 10.

    #5

    Paolo,

    The best songs come out of extreme emotional trauma. This could be one of the great shows. If Bryan can shake off his obsession with the Dark Side...

    >8-D

  • Comment number 11.

    I think without question the most dismal song I've ever heard is

    by Josh T Pearson

    The album it's from is getting rave reviews all over the place so maybe I'm out of step. Please be aware you may need counselling after listening to this clip.

  • Comment number 12.

    #11

    Gaie,

    I managed 44 seconds. Is this a record?

  • Comment number 13.


    I refuse to believe that's a real beard.

  • Comment number 14.

    Good suggestion Mary-Dill, AFR will be along to second that suggestion soon..

    I believe I have four great suggestions, though I would second any Smiths/Morrissey:

    The Jam - So Sad About Us

    Jackson Browne - Fountain of Sorrow

    Wilco / Bragg - At My Window Sad and Lonely

    Springsteen - Fade Away (as Drive All Night too long)

    and of course

    Roy Orbison - Only The Lonely(Know The Way I Feel Tonight)

    the latter just sheer class. If I was in the producers chair I might even stick on the Black & White night version with the all star line up.

    To quote Lennon "how the hell do you follow that"....

  • Comment number 15.

    #12

    It shows a lamentable lack of perseverance.

  • Comment number 16.

    A Man of Constant Sorrow - Union Station (from Alison Krauss + Union Station Live)

    The Best of Everything - Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers

    Nobody's Child - the Traveling Wilburys

    +1 for Jackson

  • Comment number 17.

    #14, #9 mary I apologise for inadvertantly calling you a herb

  • Comment number 18.

    Missed Tuesday`s show, so what was the score?

    Artists with a Scottish Connection (the theme) vs Songs with a Scottish Connection (nothing to do with the theme)


    Nah, Norrie. Since You`ve Been Gone is creeping into overplay territory.

  • Comment number 19.

    Suppose Adam. It is like Hungry Heart I groan now when it comes on....

  • Comment number 20.

    Why Does Love Got to Be So Sad - Derek and the Dominos

    this one brought tears to their English teacher's eyes

  • Comment number 21.

    Somebody Already Broke My Heart - Sade
    Hurt So Bad - Linda Ronstad
    Alone - Heart
    Crying - Roy Orbinson
    I Started A Joke - Bee Gees
    I'm Hurting Inside - Bob Marley

    And one for my dear grandmother, Great Pretender by the Platters. She would cry every time she heard this song.

    Have a good one!

  • Comment number 22.

    #10 Scotch I couldn't agree more.

    It's just the two hours bit.

    But I have another one
    Getting over you / Janus Ian
    The saddest song of them all

  • Comment number 23.

    #15

    Gaie,

    I can't afford any more therapy this week.

  • Comment number 24.

    I ain't ever satisfied - Steve Earle or Gretchen Peters
    Let it roll - Kim Richey
    I wish I were blind - Springsteen
    Misty blue - Dorothy Moore
    Tell me there's a heaven - Chris Rea
    Blue moon revisited - Cowboy Junkies
    Raining on our love - Shania Twain

    Joe
    Linlithgow

  • Comment number 25.

    #22

    Paolo,

    I can't afford any razor blades this week.

  • Comment number 26.

    Oh Lonesome Me - Neil Young from the album After the Gold Rush




    A real wrist slitter that one



    DC

  • Comment number 27.

    #11

    Neither can Josh T. Pearson.

  • Comment number 28.

    #26


    "A real wrist slitter that one."

    Neil Young?

    >8-D

  • Comment number 29.

    Ach forget the rest. If you have to have a good greet, you'd be as well doing it to the sounds of the greatest voice ever


    It hurts so much to see you go - Jim Reeves






    (sniff......)

  • Comment number 30.

    'Over You' - Suzy Bogguss ... Sad wee song

  • Comment number 31.

    Re #18

    Just listend to the show and I made it 10 - 11 with the jury still out on the last one.

    A couple o Our Willies in there too, to keep Julie happy.

    ;)

  • Comment number 32.


    Down To Seeds and Stems - Commander Cody and his Lost Planet Airmen
    Texas Funeral - Jon Wayne
    Accidentally Like a Martyr - Warren Zevon
    Death Letter - Blues Band
    St. James Infirmary - Bobby Bland

  • Comment number 33.

    More woe

    I'm Down / The Beatles
    The sad cafe / The Eagles
    All alone am I / Brenda Lee
    Stuck in the middle / Stealers Wheel

    And another request for any version of
    The bricklayers song aka sick note aka paddy and the bricks

  • Comment number 34.

    Poor Me - Adam Faith

    Released before I was born, but I still feel like I "remember" this song.
    They must've played a lot of "oldies" during the mid-sixties.

    Paul from Ayr

  • Comment number 35.

    Hmmmm a hit in 1960. You trying to get the dates on your profile with the agency to tie up?

  • Comment number 36.


    Razor Blades of Love - The Silencers

  • Comment number 37.

    Norman Wisdom - 'Don't Laugh At Me'

    "But when I try to love the girls
    They laugh at me and run"


  • Comment number 38.

    John Grant - 'Where Dreams Go To Die'

  • Comment number 39.

    lets hear it from that greetin' face..........'you were right'....badly drawn boy............he mustave lived in a bedsit next door to morrisay and that joy(!) division bloke........

    'walk away renee'................4 tops

    'ruby'.............kenny rogers (not quite sure why he's feeling' sorry for himself................i don't think yer missus goin' out to the bingo's too dramatic)


    cheers frae the dale

  • Comment number 40.

    'Cause We've Ended as Lovers - Jeff Beck

    Every Time a Teardrop Falls - Frankie Miller

    Can't Find My Way 成人快手 - Blind Faith

  • Comment number 41.

    My wife would say this theme was right up my street as I'm always listening to dour music... as long as I keep takin' the meds though, I'm OK.

    The River: Audra Mae (Lets not beat about the bush... it's all about suicide)

    Kate Rusby: Curtains (Possibly veging on a durge, but a quite, quite, brilliant piece of songwriting that captures the spirt)

    Are You Happy Now: Richard Shindell (The musings of a guy who's partner leaves him on Halloween. A must play!)

    A Long, Long Time Ago: The Proclaimers

    Poor Mans Son: Kris Drever

    The Sun's Comin' Over The Hill: Karine Polwart: (A look on the bright side of dyin')

    Chance: Big Country ("This is a song about two people who didn't quite make it". Stuart Adamson)

    Days Like These: Billy Bragg

    She's Gone: Black Sabbath

    How Can I Tell You: Cat Stevens

    My Old Friend The Blues: Steve Earle

    ... and pretty much anything by Nick Drake...

  • Comment number 42.


    #39 - dale_kelvin - It wasn't Kenny who started that old crazy Asian war.

    ;o)

  • Comment number 43.

    Sorrow - the National

    Don't Wanna Sleep Tonight - Malcolm Middleton

    Everything I do is redundant
    Everything I say is a lie
    Whatever I once had is gone
    Now I鈥檝e been left behind


    but it's a cheery enough wee tune

  • Comment number 44.


    If Not You - Dr. Hook

    Oh Yeah (On The Radio) - Roxy Music

    What A Price - George Thorogood & The Destroyers

    :o)

  • Comment number 45.

    'The End Of The World' or 'Teardrops Will Fall' - John Cougar/Mellencamp/Whassisname.

    Cheap Trick's live version of 'Ain't That A Shame'

  • Comment number 46.


    My boss wants me to ask for

    Get Back In Line - Mot枚rhead


    He says it's brilliant. If it isn't it's not my fault.

    ;o)

  • Comment number 47.

    Senga, are you sure he wasn't issuing instructions?

  • Comment number 48.

    #41 and they still let you loose with farm machinery?

  • Comment number 49.

    SUICIDE CHUMP from YOU ARE WHAT YOU IS by FRANK ZAPPA

  • Comment number 50.

    Just another cog in the rat race machine

    Feel Like a Number / Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band

    A whole string of American dates now announced. Come on over the pond Bob you'll like it.

    New album out soon which I shall deliver in person to Pacific Quay if I can get my hands on that damn banana loaf recipe!

  • Comment number 51.

    The Adverts - 'Gary Gilmore's Eyes'

    Receipient of new eyes not happy to realise that they have come from an executed murderer!

  • Comment number 52.

    #41 big seconds for Chance - Big Country


    Please note correct spelling of last word above....

  • Comment number 53.

    S'pose Tom Jones' Green Green Grass Of 成人快手 has mair chance of making it than Chance though...

  • Comment number 54.

    Chance really would be great to hear.

    I would also like to suggest:

    Bruce Springsteen - Dancing In The Dark

    "I get up in the evening
    and I ain't got nothing to say
    I come home in the morning
    I go to bed feeling the same way
    I ain't nothing but tired
    Man I'm just tired and bored with myself
    Hey there baby, I could use just a little help"

    C'mon Bruce cheer up mate....

  • Comment number 55.

    'Reflections Of My Life' - Marmalade

  • Comment number 56.

    #16

    That's got to be a definite - if we don't get it on (and I definitely agree with the Traveling Wilburys version), then the whole theme is FAIL.

  • Comment number 57.

    Singer & song


    Surely the Alexander Brothers' version of Nobody's Child has to be worth a greet from two points of view?

  • Comment number 58.

    OK, tonight is the night for the Braggster:

    You've got a whole range to pick from:

    *
    * Walk Away Renee
    She began going out with Mr Potato Head
    It was when I saw her in the car park
    With his coat around her shoulders that I realised

    *
    *
    *
    *
    *

    But failing all that lot, if we need cheering up at the end, then let's have as the closing song:
    * The Milkman of Human Kindness
    If you're lonely, I will call -
    If you're poorly, I will send poetry

    I am the milkman of human kindness
    I will leave an extra pint

    If you're sleeping, I will wait
    If your bed is wet, I will dry your tears

    If you are falling, I'll put out my hands
    If you feel bitter, I will understand

  • Comment number 59.

    Bryan - any chance of telling us when exactly you're going to play morrissey in case i'm too slow/far away from the wireless and catch the first couple of bars before hitting the off button?

  • Comment number 60.

    A letter to myself / the Chi-lites


    Awwwwwwwwwwww!

  • Comment number 61.

    #8

    +1 on The Dimming of the Day, but would also like to offer for consideration.

  • Comment number 62.

    Chris Isaak - 'Wicked Game'

  • Comment number 63.

    If you're lonely, there鈥檚 probably a good reason
    If you're poorly, you should have taken better care of yourself

    I am the milkman of human kindness
    And in the end it turns sour

    If you're sleeping, don鈥檛 expect to be paid
    If your bed is wet, the nurse will be angry again

    If you are falling, try not to wake the neighbours
    If you feel bitter, join the club

    But don't forget to wear sunscreen

  • Comment number 64.

    Realising that hoping to get any Bragg on beyond Sexuality & New England is a dead end, I'd better offer some alternatives:

    * Primal Scream - (I'm Gonna) Cry Myself Blind
    * Marillion - Script for a Jester's Tear (again, nae danger)
    * Springsteen - You're Missing
    * This Mortal Coil -
    Jeweller has a shop on the corner of the boulevard.
    In the night, in small spectacles he polishes old coins.
    He knows that he can only shine them, cannot repair the scratches.
    He knows that even new coins have scars so he just smiles.
    He works to take from black coin faces, the thumb prints from so many ages.
    He wishes he could cure the scars.
    When he forgets he sometimes cries.

    * Sinead O'Connor - I Am Stretched On Your Grave
    * Tom Waits - Tom Traubert's Blues
    * Ultravox - Dancing with Tears In My Eyes
    * Elton John - But Not For Me
    * Pink Floyd - Jugband Blues
    It's awfully considerate of you to think of me here
    And I'm much obliged to you for making it clear
    That I'm not here.

  • Comment number 65.

  • Comment number 66.

    #64 O ye of little faith 鈽

  • Comment number 67.

    #66

    Been trying for well over 2 years to get Tank Park Salute on. Makes me greet every time I hear it, but no success as yet.

    Other than that, we've had
    * The Saturday Boy (played once, got rave audience reaction, never played again)
    * Dry Bed (played once, Bryan raved about it being a wee gem of a find, never played again)

  • Comment number 68.

    She moved home alone without friends or relations
    Lived in a world full of age reservation
    On moth eaten armchairs, she'd say that she'd sod all
    The friends who had left her to drink from the bottle

    Squeeze - 'Labelled With Love'

  • Comment number 69.

    #42 @ ya senga..........i wasn't blaming kenny........but he couldave shown just a bit more empathy........i repeat goin' to the bingo is not the worst thing she couldhuv done.she couldhuv no put his T in the oven 'fore she left.


    cheers frae the dale.

  • Comment number 70.

    #56 the only thing is, I burst out laughing the first time I heard the Wilburys' version as we'd spent so much time as kids rtp out of the Alexander Brothers and I couldn't believe those cool ol' dudes were singing the same song. The Alexander brothers would definitely get the off button.

  • Comment number 71.

    The Bluebells - 'Cath'

    Woe, woe 鈽

  • Comment number 72.

    #70

    We could have had Nobody's Child on Monday, using . Or .

    We could always have tonight as compromise?

  • Comment number 73.

    Nah, we did it before Billy. The Wilburys please!!

  • Comment number 74.

    "As I was slowly passing an orphanage one day..."

    Taking the Atkins diet to extremes.

  • Comment number 75.

    It is quite amusing that some folk are feeling quite sorry for themselves thing that their suggested song about feeling sorry for themselves might not get played.

    Awwww....

  • Comment number 76.

    Capt, how do you do that spotify link thing?

  • Comment number 77.

    #48... only with my carer present paolopablo! But concern appreciated!

    #63... Not sure whether to say 'Thanks for a great laugh', or 'Damn, I'm never goinmg to be able to listed to Billy Braggs masterpiece in the same light ever again'.

  • Comment number 78.


    #47 - gaie - He's a delight to work for. And he listens to the show! Never asks for anything but.

    #63 - Glen - Cruel, but funny! LOL!

    #69 - dale_kelvin - Empathy? If Kenny could move he'd get his gun and put her in the ground!

    ;o)

  • Comment number 79.

    Times are tight and the cost of living's rising...bet we all feel a bit 'poor me' over that. I'll be sad if it gets to the stage where I can't even afford to buy my 'smalls' from M&S (other high street lingerie stockists are available).
    But Little Miss Higgins isn't moping...she extols the virtues of shopping for her undergarments in the cheaper kind of store:
    'Bargain Shop Panties' - Little Miss Higgins (as heard on the Bob Harris show recently...it's fab)

  • Comment number 80.

    #76

  • Comment number 81.

    Bonnie Tyler - Total Eclipse of the Heart

  • Comment number 82.

    #63

    OMG! You Killed Billy! You B*stard!
    >-)

  • Comment number 83.

    #80 merci

  • Comment number 84.

    Last week a wonderful track called 'Twenty Seven Strangers' by the Villagers was played at the request of Julie and myself.

    It's funny how albums that contain wonderful tracks can also contain material which is so excruciating you have to autoamatically move the track forward.

    These new folkies certainly know how to lay it on thick. I've been round the block a few times myself but I've never heard anything quite as dismal as Pieces by The Villagers. It reaches new heights in self indulgent, self pitying mince and anytime it comes on I immediately shout: " For Goodness sake, pull yourself together!" before moving the track forward.

    There is another mob called Cherry Ghost who do a number called My God Betrays which is enough to make grown men turn to religion in search of an answer. Truly dismal and awful.

    It would be worth playing either to demonstrate just how bad things can get.

    To give a sense of anticipation of loss and hearache that is worthy of our ears,compassion and understanding is Somedays - Paul McCartney - quite beautiful.

    For me, nothing will ever convey loss quite like Kate Bush - This Woman's Work

    Howver, if we want to give the nation a musical treat and bang on theme is Life Turned Her That Way - James Carr (alt vocal) - utterly magnificent.

    regardez youse

    henri

    ps - you've got to hear that Pieces thing to believe it.


  • Comment number 85.

    But don't let that put anyone off The Vilagers because the rest of the album is great.

    There's another mob called The Bombay Bicycle Club - their 2nd album 'Flaws' was well named. Except one track, almost all of it is truly self indulgent mince: the title track kinds sums the whole thing up.

    Still, it should be a relief to Macintosh Ross to know that in comparison with 'Pieces' by The Villagers, their dirge version of Sunshine on Leith is positively sunny.

    And so, they have been knocked off their pedestal: 'Pieces' by The Villagers is uniquely miserable and undoubtedly the worst record I have ever heard.

    reagdrez youse

    henri

  • Comment number 86.

    Sorry, Henri, but I think you'll find Josh T Pearson's Country Dumb wins by a

  • Comment number 87.

    "Maybe I shoulda' stayed in school,"


    another album track for reflection, its simplicity is exactly what makes it so atmospheric.

  • Comment number 88.

    I mean for the miserable-est song

  • Comment number 89.

    "Woe is a me Bop"as the good Captain used to say.I rue the day I got shot of my turntable cos when Laughing Len or Jaunty Joni got too depressing you could always turn it up to 78rpm and hey!"Joan of Arc"dance mix!Joni's big "woe is me "moment has got to be "The Last Time I saw Richard"where she finally loses it, "I'm gonna blow this damn candle out,They're aint nothing I want to talk to anybody about.All good dreamers pass this way.Hiding behind bottles in dark cafes"Lighten up ,Joni!Other selfpiteous contenders include
    Radiohead Creep
    Janis Ian At Seventeen
    Eric Carmen All By Myself
    McGarrigles I Eat Dinner
    Kurt Elling Lush Life..(Cant wait to see him at RSAMD March 12th,this guy is the real deal,Mr Buble)Cheers Willie Bartke

  • Comment number 90.

    Don't know if anyone has put up Laughing Larry for tonight - but it should be his night. Th irony is that much of his work is amusing and humourous.

    Two great tracks on theme and quite radio freindly are

    The Night Comes On

    The Captain


    which would be revelation to those who think they don't care for his work,

    rehardez youse

    henri

  • Comment number 91.

    Can I second Pieces by Villagers as suggested by Henri. Great album. Saw them in a cupboard in Edinburgh and it was a great gig.

    Really good album, oddly I have it on vinyl and it's just got 3 sides.

  • Comment number 92.

    DIDN鈥橳 FEEL LONELY TILL I THOUGHT OF YOU from THE CONFESSIONS OF DR.DREAM AND OTHER STORIES by KEVIN AYERS

    DIMMING OF THE DAY from POUR DOWN LIKE SILVER by RICHARD AND LINDA THOMPSON

    ROBOT BLUES from 鈥楿鈥 by THE INCREDIBLE STRING BAND

  • Comment number 93.

    #91 a three-sided vinyl?

    Wow!!!

  • Comment number 94.

    #93 I know! Really odd.

  • Comment number 95.

    FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF - AVRIL or CHRISTINA?

    Does anyone care?

  • Comment number 96.

    #91

    And then there's The Imagined Village (yes, I'm touting them yet again... one of these day's they'll get played)

    Let's have , and pretend it's about cricket.

  • Comment number 97.

    #92

    The ISB's Hedgehog Song works too.(muhahaha)

  • Comment number 98.


    If tonight's show gets too miserable, might I suggest using last nights theme criteria?
    Then, hey presto, you can play lively tunes by Sad Cafe, Tears For Fears, Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers etc, etc

  • Comment number 99.

    Through ball....

  • Comment number 100.

    Goal!!!!!

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