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Edna Goes on a Diet
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"Our Arthur," said Edna, "Oy’m gooin’ on a diet,
Oy’ve read about Weight-watchers - now oy’m gooin’ ter try
it." "Our Edna," said Arthur, "Yo’m fine as yo am, Yo’m all
soft and cuddly, like a nice little lamb."
"More like a fat sow!" our Edna complained,
Determined to shed all the weight she had gained. "Oy’ve cooked
yer yer breakfast - fried eggs and fried bread… But oy cor
watch yer ate it - oy’ll goo off me yed!"
So she sat on the sofa with her ‘meal’ on a tray -
A cup of black tea, a dish of Special K,
With Gnasher behind her, who could hardly wait
To see what tasty morsels she’d leave on her plate.
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| Edna
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But
his tail soon stopped wagging when he sniffed her dish,
YUK! He’d rather eat grass, or His Lordship’s cold fish! So
the cats, dog and Arthur left Edna alone, And the cats ate
their Whiskas and Gnasher his bone.
Arthur went off to work after patting his tum, And all that
was left on his plate was one crumb! Edna put all her packets
and tins on the table, And, hungrily, counted the calories
on the labels.
Lunch would be easy, a boiled egg on toast,
And for tea peas and chicken - boiled, not roast.
But she thought of poor Arthur, who liked fatty, crisp skin,
With buttery juices that ran down his chin….
And her fingers had wandered with a will of their own, To
some shortbread, an Aero and a packet of scones. And she sat,
lost in thought of sage stuffing and chips, And she paid no
attention to what passed through her lips.
When Arthur came home to his roast chicken dinner, He said,
"’Ey our Edna - oy’m sure yo looks thinner!" And Edna was
chuffed, said, "It’s easy as pie!" And she hungrily piled
up their plates, sky-high!
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Edna
and Arthur peoem's featured:
 The Cat-Flap
DIY at Edna and Arthur's
Edna Goes on a Diet
Arthur
Does the Housework
If you
think your poetry is as good as Carol's, then why not send it in to
the ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ Black Country website? Just e-mail the team at: blackcountry@bbc.co.uk
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