³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ

The Cat-Flap
...........................

"Our Edna," said Arthur, "goo lock the cat-flap,
The cats cor come in, the bab’s ‘avin’ a nap."
So Arthur went off, slid the catch into place,
Then sat on the sofa to watch the horse race.

Soon he was beginning to swear and to mutter
Edna said, "Oy ‘ope that do’ mean yo’s ‘ad a flutter!" "Oy ay enough money fer that kind o’ lark," Said Arthur - and Gnasher, accusingly, barked.

"Shurrup, yer saft mutt!" cried Arthur, who knew
That Gnasher’d stood with him in the betting-shop queue. The noise woke the baby, who started to yell, And Edna cooed,
"Nanny’ll mek yer feel well."

Meanwhile, in the garden, His Lordship could hear
A loud cat-like noise coming from somewhere near. He ran round and round with his tail stuck up straight, Then down jumped Her Ladyship from the front garden gate.

The two of them walked round and round in a tizzy, The noise and the walking made them angry and dizzy! They knew a small creature was inside the house, Possibly a kitten - but, hopefully, a mouse!

So they both made a run and a pounce at the flap, Which shuddered and trembled - and suddenly snapped, And they ran, side by side, their expressions the same, With their heads firmly stuck in the cat-flap’s small frame.

Gnasher

They panicked, they shrieked and their legs would not stop, They overturned tables and bottles of pop.
And Gnasher was barking and the baby was screaming….. Then Arthur cried, "Bab! Was that right? Was oy dreamin’?"

Me ‘orse won the race, Bab, we’ve won fifty pound! We’ll goo out ternight, ‘ave a night on the town!" The cats had got free and run under a chair, And Gnasher had fled to hide under the stairs.

The baby was quiet as he lay in his cot,
And Edna was suffering from acute delayed shock. But, evil she was when she next found her tongue, "Yo’m a b.....!, a s..!, An ‘eap of cow-dung!"

But, that evening, she dressed up and looked very grand, When the taxi arrived she gave Arthur her hand, And they wined and they dined and they danced through the night….And all ended well from the afternoon’s fright!