成人快手

I don't see how it is possible that Erlend is on the go STILL, at 9:00pm, when he didn't get to bed until 3am this morning because of um coo #70! I want to know his secret... (is it the boiled tatties?)

We got three more calves today! First to calve was our coo that is still doon with some kind of back problem. She can't feed her calf so Erlend has to milk one of the other coos in order to feed this calf.

Coo #4 gave birth but her calf was nearly dead! Much to his joy Erlend was able to revive the wee bull calf with chest compressions while mama moo licked away at his cold little body. He's alive - but too weak to nurse. Soooooo....I milked one coo while Erlend milked Coo #4 and then after he stomach tubed the calf we fed him. Now he's in the byre feeding calf of the "Doon Coo" with another stomach tube and the rest of the milk. Oy!!

The third coo that calved today is doing FINE and we don't need to milk or revive or do anything else for her. She's off in her own pen making happy mama moo noises and her calf is sooking away.

I had just taken a nice hot perfumed bath before Erlend announced that he was drowning in a dozen things to do. I went out to the byre to oggle the new calves and saw the two coos that he needed to milk. The tamest had charn all over her legs and tail and was standing in a pile of much. Erlend looked like he was about to start ripping his hair out. "I have to milk this coo and then milk that coo and then feed the twa calves - and then I have to go feed the other byre!"

Even as I smelled the soft floral smells of my bathwater wafting through the byre and I felt my teeth gritting I managed to blurt out, "If you'd like, I'll milk that black coo..."

"Would you really?? WONDERFUL!" beamed Erlend. "You go feed the sheep and I'll go do this and that and we'll meet in here and milk the coos!"

So I fed the baah'ing Wooly Ladies, got charged by Magnus the ram when I checked his water and was pestered almost to insanity by King Tut for his blasted addiction: tinned food. Every time I go outside King Tut materializes and screams his silly head off for tinned food! He's totally addicted to the stuff! The reason I know he's wailing for tinned food (all day, every day) is because every move I make sends him bolting expectantly for the dairy where all of the cats are fed. As soon as he realizes I am not following him he races back to me and starts again with the wailing and howling . "Tinned food! Tinned food!" If I so much as twitch a finger he heads for the dairy. And if I'm not outside he perches on the windowsill and wails for HOURS. "Give me tinned food! I need tinned food!"

He really does test my sanity...

Anyhoo, Erlend managed to get both of the coos into yokes and we each hunkered down and milked away. (I came into the marriage with hardly a farm skill to my name BUT I did know how to milk a cow at least!!) Just as I got into a good rythm of milking, my coo decided to kick the jug out of my hand. SPLASH! went the milk! "Dag nab it!" I grumbled to Erlend. "The dang coo kicked the jug oot of me hand!!"

Erlend looked over at me in surprise. "WHAT?" he boggled in a tired worn-out voice. "You let the coo kick over the milk jug?"

I was in a good mood and a wicked little smile lit my face as I held the nearly empty jug out of the way of the flying hooves of fury. "You just hush up now" I told Erlend "or I'll throw the rest of this milk at ya!"

Erlend returned to his milking and when my coo calmed down I jabbed at her udder with my fist and resumed milking. KICK!! went a sharp hoof.

"Now you just STOP it coo!" I grumbled and tried to milk again. KICK!!! went the hoof. We seemed to be engaged in a very strange kind of dance!

She finally settled down and let me milk - but then she got at me in the worst possible way: by taking a big splattery poo!! I was able to get the milk out of the way and then I tossed down some clean straw to help eh...lessen the splatters. Then I grabbed the teat and **SQUELCH** discovered that it was covered in a nice layer of fresh charn. She completed her attack by smacking me in the face with her charny swish. Then she let out a very satisfied sounding "moo" and let me continue milking without further incident. (After I cleaned off all of that lovely charn on the udder. Thanks moo!)

So much for that lovely bath...

We finally got the coos milked and the calves fed and now I'm indoors warming up and trying to decide when I should check on Elsie-yow. She STILL hasn't had those lambs!!

I am ready to drop onto the floor and sleep like a log. Everyone seems to be happy (except King Tut). Almost all of the coos and calves are fed. The dog and cats are fed. The sheep are fed. I just chowed down some chocolate. Life is good!!

But Erlend won't be ready for bed until he gets the final byre fed...