Doughnuts for Berneray?
Posted: Wednesday, 21 June 2006 |
Comments
Oh, let us be realistic, Berneray could not support a Krispy Kreme outfit. Not even Stornoway could - not even if each resident regularly ate a gross of assorted KK donuts. They look better than they taste (so I think, but then I am into the heavier Dunkin Donuts). The company is very good at advertising, but not equally successful financially. Anyway, use of the wonderful school house for such a purpose would be a sacrilege.
mjc from NM,USA
I think your plan has a hole in it.
calumannabel from Dunkinhead Lighthouse
Dunkin Donuts? Lumps of stodgy tasteless lard, dude, most often found in sad airport franchises. You have no taste buds. KK doughnuts look good and taste good. KK doughnuts win out, dude.
成人快手r Simpson from Springville, Ness
No; not doing anything at all with the school building is "sacrilege". It has been empty for a year now and is deteriorating. No sign of anything happening to it. There are too many empty or abandoned buildings around here.
Observer from North Uist
> not even if each resident regularly ate a gross of assorted KK donuts. Debatable. Willing to give that a try.
Digital Sands from Berneray
"Dunkin Donuts" better than Krispy Kreme doughnuts?? Are you for real - am assuming that was a tongue in cheek (or tongue in doughnut) comment.
Digital Sands from Berneray
Anyway, have you seen the size of some of the men on Berneray? I have the distinct feeling there is already a secret Krispy Kreme doughnut factory and shop somewhere on the island...
Observer from North Uist
The other option is to tarmac over the east beach and Sandhill, build an international airport, and use the school building as the airport terminal.
Biggles from Ness aerodrome
Clearly, Dunkin Donuts would not survive in the W.I.!! I'd take a toasted coconut DD any day over half a dozen assorted KKs. Try one, and you'll never go back to KKs. Sorry to hear the school building has been abandoned. I thought (as per websites) that since the causeway was built Berneray has been undergoing a revival. By the way, the Berneray community website indicates it is possible to get from Glasgow to Berneray by bus/ferry via Uig/Lochmaddy etc: must take forever!! How long would it take from Stornoway? and would it be a pleasant/scenic trip (any donut in the B. tea shop?!)? Any guga barbecue pit en route a tourist should not miss?
mjc from NM,USA
I don't think Stag Bakeries will welcome the development with open arms.
Local shop for local people from Stornoway
Perhaps the shop could sell rabbit-flavoured doughnuts to eliminate the current Berneray pest.
Bugs from 3rd hole from the right, machair
It won't work. There's a sign gone up. Berneray people love putting signs up. This one says "No doughnuts". So that's the end of it.
Observer from North Uist
> Try one, and you'll never go back to KKs. I tried half of one; relatively tasteless and far too heavy. I gave the other to a down-and-out and even he wouldn't eat it. Not entirely sure they were fully cooked. Moved on to light, fluffy and more tasteful Krispy Kreme doughnuts and never looks back.
Digital Sands from Dunkin Doughnuts
A doughnut factory is a good idea. Whenever a school building becomes available out here, it either is turned into a house, or becomes yet another craft shop selling expensive trash to gullible tourists. Please, something different for a change. Diversification and all that. Read "The Stornoway Way", the bit about "Bongo's".
Donnie from Stornoway
Revival: yes, correct. Ironically, since the school closed, the population has increased and there are more kids of primary school age. Bus trip: easy to do it on the same day, from Glasgow to here. The buses and ferries at Uig connect.
Digital Sands from Berneray
Why not a pub? Nearest pub to Berneray is in North Uist. What do you lot do for drink?
Ochder from South Uist
Guga?? On Berneray?? You're having a larf, son. Only caviar and champagne on here. The road to Triallagearaidh is paved with gold, sunshine.
Hew Heffner from Playboy mansion, Borve
A strip club and 24/7 lapdancing bar is the best use for the school building. Ohhh, yes... (gets all excited).
Donald Aleck O'Leerer from Moist cottage, dribble lane
How about putting all those overweight and clinically obese Berneray men on treadmills installed in the school building? Connect the treadmills to the national grid; enough surplus energy would be produced so that we don't need to desecrate Harris and Lewis with windfarms. Renewable energy? Keep feeding the tubbys doughnuts as they run...
The Green Goddess from Berneray gym and fitness centre
Well, as everyone else is making suggestions. A Tesco Express or Tesco Ministore. Anything to give the overpriced and understocked Co-op a run for its money.
Observer from North Uist
What's the Gaelic for "Krispy Kreme doughnut", then?
Tavish McTranslator from Gaelic college, Lewis
No donuts (doughnuts for y'all)? And my wife claims that Scots like anything sweet!! Is the schoolhouse owned by the "township", restorable at reasonable cost, and for sale at nominal sum? Or is it leaking like a sieve and has mould taken over? Can one pick up (if not a toasted coconut DD) Gaelic in Berneray/ North Uist? Where do the residents go for medical care of any gravity? How is sailing and fishing? What is the highest point on the island? And about KK: there is nothing "there", and the best word to describe it is "flimsy". DDs are the real thing. Anyway, I am sure the Berneray bakery makes good donuts.
mjc from NM,USA
Digging into her linguistic repertoire (fed by our visit to the NI last year, and reading the Orcadian), my wife suggests that the properly phrased question should be: "Is the schoolhouse in a ruinous state?" - what we in the States would call: a wreck, a dump and the real estate agents would call a "fixer upper". You get the idea.
mjc from NM,USA
Why doesn't Berneray folk go it alone and develop the Paris Bun a much maligned Loiseach delicacy with great potential for development - the iced Paris bun - the mango and papaya Paris bun or for those looking for something more savoury, the Prickly Paris Bun with hedgehog morsels.
Mr Bun from The Baker's husband Brue
Aye, the bakeries in crisis. A letters gone round to all the residents; unless you eat more doughnuts, it's gonnae close. Doughnuts for breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper. It's the only way to sustain the bakery.
Angus McDoughnut from Ardmaree Bakery, Berneray
Ochder: the nearest pub is in Lochmaddy. Many people have a drinks cabinet. Some people go across the Sound for a drink in Rodel. A few people "brew" their own.
Observer from North Uist
Never heard of Paris buns before: originates from Dublin, does it? Mango and papaya
mjc from NM
Mango and papaya Paris buns (to go on from where I was before I jiggled the submit rectangle inappropriately early): sounds good provided they are not together in one filling. I hear they make good ones in Dublin, but then they probably have a KK factory there as well. Strip club, KK factory, fitness salon: clearly local folks have varied projects and a fertile (is it: febrile?) imagination - for the island. Are your political representatives good at bringing in pork? Did someone mention Wal-mart?! or an "upscale" Target?
mjc from NM,USA
The comments on this website are so tightly squeezed together i can hardly read them. Can anyone suggest anything?
UpSouth1 from South Uist
Does Berneray already have a building for community/club activities? You could turn the school into a cozy meeting place, with shelves for books [honor system borrowing], a room for exercise (tread mill, exercise bike etc), a kitchenette, chairs to relax in and shoot the breeze, , nice flat screen tv, indoor plumbing. A neutral communal place for everybody to meet: with less than 200 people in the community, Berneray's social control mechanisms and volunteer spirit should make running it painless. Start a non-profit, have the school handed over to it, renovate it together: the "government" does not have to own or control the community center.
mjc from NM
Isn't this the island where the broadband only works when the tide is in? Perhaps the school could be turned into a satellite relay station. The one at Goonhilly has a free internet cafe with speeds of 100Mbps.
Iain Morrison from Lewis
Well I'm not impressed. The last thing we need is yet another doughnut shop out here. Fishing is in decline. Crofting is in decline. Tweed is in decline. Kelp is in decline. Please, do not put the Gaelic Doughnut industry into decline. I thank you.
Donalds Dougnuts from Donalds Doughnut emporium, Pabbay
The ovens in that picture look well industrious. It'll take another nine giant wind turbines on Barvas Moor to keep it lit and heated.
Windy Miller from Barvas Moor
Windy; I understand that the doughnut factory is producing its wares the traditional way. The cooker will in fact be a peat-fired rayburn; the conveyor belt procession has to share and alternate with the guga processing plant next door. It should all make for some interesting doughnut taste combinations.
Agnes McDoughnut from Eoropie, Lewis
Now here's a thought. Use the doughnuts to construct the Sound of Harris crossing. Far cheaper than the Skye bridge. And if you get hungry halfway across, stop thee car and take a bite!
Scruff the hippy from Ensay and Killegray, Sound of Harris
The doughnut should be punished; it's ways are evil. He who eats from the doughnut on the sabbath will be punished for all eternity. Eat not of the forbidden fruit of the Krispy Kreme factory.
Reverend Moody McDire from Hellfire and damnation pulpit
Yummy; wonder if I can set up my own "Doughnut tasting and quality control" support business.
Billy Bunter from Your nearest tuckshop
Peat-fired rayburn? Not in the Rayburn/Aga catalogs when I looked at them this summer. Is the peat brought to the rayburn by automated conveyor belt? Guga processing plant? I thought that Gugas were plucked by the sea, flattened and dried in Nessian air? And shipped to emigres/connoisseurs world wide ... That is what I gathered from a 成人快手 - or was it National Geographic - program. Forget KK factory in Berneray. If you ever come to Albuquerque, just holler and I'll take you to one or both of the outlets in town.
mjc from NM,USA
Think i'll move to berneray now you have a doughnut factory. Can anyone tell me if there are any cheap houses for sale there /.
HOMER MACSIMPSON from SPRINGFIELD
The stuff of dreams, nightmares, and inhaling too much smoke from a peat fire.
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