Get fit for the fank
Posted: Monday, 20 March 2006 |
With horror I discover that in a few weeks time we will be in April. My vegetable garden has not been turned over since last year, and there is much spadework to do. But I have housie chores, and other paid work to do (as one of the three houses in the Outer Hebrides that has a mortgage, gotta earn enough to keep the wolves from the door).
Here is my garden, with proof of some spade action by my very self, last year:
I have an idea. The fitter you look, the better a "catch" you will get at the dating festival at the fank. Thus, I am offering people going to the fank the opportunity to tone up, get fit, and develop that Brad Pitt / Angelina Jolie look. Or, for the older participants, the Pierce Brosnan / Sharon Stone look.
Dig my garden! Spades, forks and the like will be provided! Develop those pecs, thighs, and abs! Only a limited amount of digging space available, so first come, first digs! This service is provided absolutely free of charge.
Here is my garden, with proof of some spade action by my very self, last year:
I have an idea. The fitter you look, the better a "catch" you will get at the dating festival at the fank. Thus, I am offering people going to the fank the opportunity to tone up, get fit, and develop that Brad Pitt / Angelina Jolie look. Or, for the older participants, the Pierce Brosnan / Sharon Stone look.
Dig my garden! Spades, forks and the like will be provided! Develop those pecs, thighs, and abs! Only a limited amount of digging space available, so first come, first digs! This service is provided absolutely free of charge.
Comments
You've missed a trick here. Apply to the council and they'll probably give you a grant of 10 grand to run your scheme. That should be just enough to pay for a packet of seeds from Ronald McVicars in Benbecula for planting in your freshly-dug patches.
Donald the accountant from Fort Knox cne-siar gold reserve
Would you like me to drop off with the hothouse enroute tae the fank? My rates are very cheep and I bring my own tools. Mother works for a reasonable rate, ie a couple oh lumps oh wood for the burner, she cannae work withoot her tea.
GrannyE. DBE.RM from Auchenshuggle in the Atlantic
Would that be the Brad pit that you're digging? If you want a constant gardener you could try Ralph Fiennes.
Annie B from Lone Sheiling
Is that Sunny from Arran's boat in the background. You've not buried the crew on that land have you? A fiendish plot !
calumannabel from Dobbie's Cottage Ness
Our boat isn't quite in that state but not far off! It's still in dry dock and the head and tail have been taken off for the winter too so I'm flummoxed as to how I'm going to get the vikingesses to the fank! Can we borrow your boat Digital?
Sunny from Arran
That's quite a water feature you have at the end of your garden
Charlie Dimmock from The Trevi Fountain Co Titmarsh on Tweed
Just advertise your putting in genetic crops, you'll have it dug free.
terrathoughts from mull
like you i have been thinking about the garden, i have been turning it over in my mind for the last few weeks.
louie from ardlui
i know who you are! recognise you from the pic!
flora macdonald from st. kilda
The stuff of dreams, nightmares, and inhaling too much smoke from a peat fire.
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