成人快手

By Elliott G

To your average observer it was an ordinary afternoon at Ash Wood Primary School. The rowdy, tumultuous children of 6P rocked back and forth on cheap, plastic chairs straining to make room for them as they fidgeted impatiently, waiting for the talk to start. The only adult present was the school nurse who had entered the classroom and written 'Growing Up' on the whiteboard. The hubbub of children was as bored as a spider desperately waiting for prey to enter the strands of its web, although even this was a welcome break from SATs revision.

All of the children had known 'the talk' was imminent as their parents had all received the letter:

Dear parent/carer

Our school nurse will be giving a 'growing-up' talk to pupils in year 6 in the next few weeks. This is in line with school policy and will consist of a talk to the children. Should you have any concerns regarding this please do not hesitate to contact your child's teacher.

Yours sincerely,

R Robinson

Mr R Robinson

Headteacher

When the register had been taken, the school nurse stood up.

"Quiet down, everyone!" she said in a commanding voice. Silence fell as slowly as a feather falling off a skyscraper. Even the most sensible children struggled to settle down, giggling behind stifled grins.

"I am sure some of you will have been undergoing changes recently as you approach adulthood. Your body and personality will develop as you get older. This might be completely new to you or you may have already heard about the onset of superpowers..."

The nurse was now talking to a group of silent pupils. The giggling had faded and the class were all exchanging astonished looks.

"You are all different and you will all develop at different ages and at different rates...

For example, I didn't know I could fly until I was 15."

Half the children had their hands up. A young girl near the back began sobbing uncontrollably.

"What's wrong, Ella?" The nurse asked, rushing over to the weeping girl.

"These are tears of relief, miss! I've been able to speak to animals for months and I was worried that I was a freak!"

"Well you certainly aren't. This is all a part of growing up. It can be a difficult time, but it happens to everyone."

Mr Pointer, their teacher, popped his head around the door.

"How's it going in here?"

A child put his hand up, straining his arm towards the ceiling with such desperate force that the children around him could almost see the question he had exploding out of him.

"Yes Billy?"

"What's y..."

"Well isn't that obvious Billy? I can read minds!"

The class immediately burst into conversation and almost everyone had their hands up. Class 6P had a mind reading teacher.

The days of crazy homework alibis were over!