成人快手

LOL! russell your face cracked me up. as for next weeks show check out this amazing story.

A car flew into this guys house in australia in the night but he was saved becuase he got up to use his computer. minutes before it hit. check it out on the bbc website or use this link
/news/world-asia-pacific-11649999

and happy halloween russell if it weren't for you i wouldn't be here to celebrate it.

LOL show 2 was hilarious! racist babies! =D anyway heres a few stories i thought you might like
a man was so attached to his pillow, that he actually married it!

there is a dating site for people who think they are ugly! and they are celebrating their first engagement!

heres an inspirational story and video:


hope you like them! oh and happy halloween to you and your team. have a frightening night! haha =)

FAINTING KITTENS - so damned cute... they freeze and fall over when they hear a loud noise!

Here's some stories:

Too long didn't read version: Baby cries, mom gets angry, mom murders kid.

Hello Good News,

After a worryingly short space of time I came across this.



Of course, had this been France, he'd have got away with a caution, the caution being, 'If you don't throw a couple of crushed garlic cloves in there, it's going to taste like crap.'

/iplayer/episode/b00vm417/The_Apprentice_Series_6_Selling_to_Trade/
between 33 and 34 mins into it they scare woman

Really Funny video when europeian and iraq people have a burnout to whose best


Or
Forumla 1 helped a girl fix her neck back up. wow :D
/news/health-11641438

man got his penis stuck in steel pipe

I thought the PM being locked out of No. 10 was worth mentioning :D



Also, come back to Thornbury!! :)

worth reading man who has sex with farm animals was killed by farmer after having sex with his donkey

Alright Russ *your impression of your mum*

I found this amusing story and thought you might like it.

It's about a man in Portugal that has sex with a 'prize' donkey, while wearing lingerie and a pair of slippers. He has also been accused of having sex with chickens. The owner of the donkey who was outraged then killed the man. Coincidentally the donkey is named Russo.

dear russell i have a great story for next weeks show. the story is the irish taoiseach, brian cowen being drumk on live radio you can find a video of it on youtube. this would be a great story to do for your show.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

thought this was a great story from where i used to live

people were convinced a pet tiger was on the loose



n was thought that this guy owned it



but turned out to be a hoax

i think that we could save 81 billion pounds by cutting , Mcdonalds.
Burger King, Subway And Pizza Hut , because hey , we still have KFC :)

i also think we could save money by doing a robin hood inpression , not that it's apropriate , but com'on ?

and basically , if the banks can make money , as it is paper , why are we in debt? when they burn it ,

08:35 (it might be a minute earlier, but I remembered this time secifically) with an interview with Lord Reid on 成人快手 Breakfast, Saturday 30th 鈥� I couldn鈥檛 quite spot what it was, but it looked like a person hanging around his elbow with a tuft of hair showing. Then, if you keep watching the tuft of hair disappears and suddenly re appears on the other side of the screen, scrambling away O_O

I think I've found the perfect companion for the shocked and surprised cat...

It's shocked and surprised hamster!

I have a question for Russell- What do you think is the best way to combat stage fright? :)

I found this on youtube and thought of the your program, i'm sure there are many ways that you can use this

xx

Hey Russell

Remember way back when in series one when you mauled that hamster toy thing? Well, they're back and now they're prepared to fight :s



And how would I save 81 billion? Put the queen, gary glitter, mugabe and other various famous figures in cages and let people pay to poke them :) and... if theres still not enough money release them all into one big cage and have some sort of gladiatorial combat :) whoever wins is freed :)

Hey Russell and the good news team
I found these on youtube, and I thought they were funny, I don't know whether they'll really be useful for anything, but they're worth watching just for a laugh!:) -



The first 2 are the best!! :D
Happy Halloween!

I read this in the Independent this week - its brilliant:

I thort this was sooo cool XD

Adults-only cake shop reveals gruesome menu...


hope u enjoy xox

A polar bear waving to a cruise ship in the artic

or


A runaway buffalo found in a neighbours swimming pool

Got a funny clip you'll probably find some use for in one of your shows.



Oh yea! [Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]

Woah , It seems russell shat himself then ! , just a thought but is ur mate a stripper ? or a sholder biter (if u kno what we mean)


man got his penis stuck in steel pipe

read THIS !


Scarlett Shaunii Megz

x

P.s

The man who descoverd milk What was he doing with that cow ?

O_O

Hi russell hope your weekend is going better than mine. i've found two stories that could be used on good news.

'Jellyfish' smoothies offer solar solutions
accourding to scientists putting thousands of jellyfish into a blender could help with solar power and eco fule. however now larger scale blenders must be produced. and soon macdonalds will have a new jellyfish flavoured smoothy. check it out.


go onto CNN website if this link gets removed.

And now possibly the best story of the week.

Deputy Labour leader Harriet Harman has apologised for branding Chief Treasury Secretary Danny Alexander a "ginger rodent". thats gotta hurt not only branded a ginger but a rodent too. how much more offensive could she be.The Lib Dem MP for Inverness, Nairn, Badenoch and Strathspey added that "rodents do valuable work cleaning up mess others leave behind". not the best way to defend him is it.praising rodents. anyway there more fun to this check it out yourself.
/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-11658228
or to to the bbc's website if the link gets removed.

i'll be back later with more goodnews bye for now.

cant help but think....what?

oh, and this is a good "its not all doom and gloom" thing.

russel howards make me laugh so hard it hurts!:')
watching it right now

got a heart problem:/
had one operation, hated the needles(N)
loads of m.r.i.
gotta have another soon:/

saw something on a tv programme mum was watching.

about some man who i think was turkish breeding rabbits then eating them, thought it was abit wierd to be honest, can't find it on youtube, but maybe you could use it on next weeks show :)

your sincerly, leah harling.
p.s rusell you make me laugh so much :)

This is the story of the group of Chinese Town Hall committees who forgot to name a motorway- marked XXX on the street plans - and only realised after the road signs were put up.

My Name Is Chloe Spooner if you decide to put this on your show. It would Really Impress everybody and I think its REALLY amusing how somebody could forget to name a road! Thanks x
BTW! Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please can you say Hi to Alex From Chloe in Wakefield?? I would Really appreciate it, On your show or on our next video? Thankyou SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MUCH! You are Hilarious! ^^

Ok russell some more goodnews

worlds biggest mouth.The Sun newspaper has called the artical "Gob Almighty" its about the world record holder for widest mouth. worth a look into.thursday 28th october's Sun page 33.

another good one from The Sun. topgears the stig was raised on a farm like cows and clarkson and the rest have gone thier to pick out a new stig. they come in all diferent colours and if that werent bizzar enough the picture shows them roaming a field like sheep. see page 17 of october 29th's Sun.

another one from the Sun. great one for the animals section. a puppy has been baptised in church. and i quote. "had a slap-up meal after his christening". it also had 6 god parents. check it out. read page 39 top left corner of friday october 29th's Sun.

just watched goodnews extra too. its still as funny as ever.

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

Hey, just another bit of good news from earlier in the year.
To raise awareness of AIDS in Africa, last December Starbucks made a video whereby people from 156 countries around the world sang "All You Need Is Love" by The Beatles (duh) but at the exact same time. The result is brilliant and just the thought that all around the world this song was ringing out at the same moment is fantastic, and the more people see it the more AIDS awareness is raised.
Hope you can use it somehow :)

Hi thought these are quite funny- not sure if either would be any good.鈾�

I was watching monkey rapes frog (if u want people not to watch something, dont tell the the name of the vid on national television!)when i saw a link called 銇犮倠銇俱仌銈撱亴杌€倱銇們 - Stalking Cat -, its the creepiest cat ive ever seen! I tried to do a link but my computer is too old to do that and just tipping this comment took me like 20 minutes so just type 銇犮倠銇俱仌銈撱亴杌€倱銇們 - Stalking Cat - on youtube and u should find it.
Great show by the way and i hope the next one is even funnier!

Save 81 billion pounds, Hmmm , charge people to breath.

Found these and thought they were quite funny.

Live grenade found under pile of clothes in a teenae boys room (they must of hated the kid) lol:

Bikers penis gets struck by lightning:

Man tattoos 40cm penis on friends back in australia:

Man shoots himself in the knee while sleep walking :

81 billion? I'll check down the back of the sofa.

In the meanwhile check out my animation of 'The Long Legged Mack Daddy'...

Hi Russell and the show i just found this cruel but weird story about a mother who killed her baby just because her baby interrupted her facebook time, she is one big facebook addict



Seems some people like Farmville to much

Heres an interesting story Dinosaurs walking around in Australia, I'd hate to be the guy who cleans up their mess wow that be a bad job.

dog's a man's best friend
/news/uk-england-bristol-11654631

A rather... inappropriately named kid's company

Hi!

I'm not sure if you've seen this already but check out this youtube video:



Icelandic football club Stjarnan F.C. have some pretty ... unique ... goal celebrations, the youtube video above is a compilation of some of their funniest ones so far! 'Birth' is my personal favourite!

Their most recent goal celebration is:



Enjoy!

Love the show by the way! x

成人快手 News at 10 tonight (Sunday 31st Oct), at around 22:10, they were trying to cross live to some reporter in Brazil and the sound wasn't working - the look on his face was rather funny, and the news woman in the studio (can't remember her name) was trying so hard not to laugh... Also in the same bulletin during the story about the mid term elections, the bit with the Americans in a car park before some college football game had some funny bits too :)

Loving the show by the way!
Kirsty x

there's a mobile phone company called everything everywhere, hence there was a well funny headline reads "spending cuts hit everything everywhere" lol.
btw save 81 million? get rid of our nuclear deterrent, just pretend that we've got one, we're not going to fire it anyway.

btw u want to fingd it? financial times on thursday

Hey Russell!

First of all - LOVE the show, makes the news happy for once. Also didn't know where to write to tell you some funny news, so I'll just write it here: on Sky News on the 27th October at 13.47 (it's on constantly at work, but with no sound so I have no idea what they were talking about - I'm assuming it's shares) it stated "FAG sales drag." too many jokes on that sentence alone! Just thought you might find that amusing.

Thanks again for making the news happy & entertaining :D

love Hannah x

Jesus was HIV positive? - /news/world-africa-11575773

Hi Russell :-)

Loved the show last week, you look sooooo dreamy, ahhhh!

I saw this artice and just had to share:

I imagine Archie would LOVE to get his groove on over there!

Can't wait for this weeks show, please do wear your glasses. don't want you ruining your eyes AND you look sooooooooo hot in them, swooooon!

Laura & Adeel xx

check out this story



hope you use it

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

Good one for sport section.

The Newcastle chicken dance. all the fans doing it on skysports news today and the little newcastle 8 year old mascot punking the skysports news reporter.

reporter - "what do you want to do when you leave school"?
kid - "your job".
reporter - "why my job"?
kid - "'cause i'm better".
That reporter got owned live.simple as.

check this out pls

thanks xxxxxx

loook at this for 1 of the shows, sooo funny!


thanks xx :)

Hi Russel!!! Woman wakes up to find intruder in her bed. Her brother Antoine Dodson has something to say about it! Really funny stuff

[Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator] how about 40 metre sinkhole housing estate. hope you make everyone lol with this story.me and my frriend zack stringer love your show

this is totally crazy and it should be on the show

pls pls pls consider it
jaz
xxxxx

all these are awsome




hope it helps dude lovin good news ur awsome :P
jaz xxxxxx

I found this news story which would be amazing on ur show, granted it is a few weeks old but links perfect with your :o cat!!



Cant wait for this weeks ep

:D

Hi Russell

I was doing my research on foods and i came across this funny picture



Have a look it! Vegetables don't grow any wierder than that!

This American news report: the brother Antoine Dodson is a legend. First watch the original:



then the remix!

Hiiiiiiii Russell :o)

I hope you're well.

Just on my usual trawl of the weird and wonderful news from the US when I came across this. Frist they have racist babies and now this:

A 4 year old?! Un-real!!

Canny wait for Thursday to roll around so I can get my fix.

Laura & Adeel

PS. you are soooooooooooo fine!! xx

Baby in Paris falls out of window and survives after bouncing off cafe awning and being caught by a passer-by. I love the fact the owner says it was a fluke that his awning was open and the French police are hilarious, bearing in mind there were two girls playing unattended.

" The police spokesman said the circumstances behind the accident were unclear. "The parents were absent, and it's a bit difficult questioning the two girls, given their age." " :D

cant w8 for the next show on thursday i laugh so much b4 i go 2 sleep, love the whole lot. hope u could use this in your next show i say it and thought u might get a few laughs n jokes out of it

/news/education-11672679 can't wait till thursday! In the mean time i've been looking for odd news... this is definitely odd :L
xx mimi

could you sy in your next vidow if u are going to do a bit on peckem terminator plz plz becaus peckem termanator makes me wet my selth plz plzplz plz plz plz plz plz play it.

Hiiiii Russell :o)

Hope you're keeping well. Didn't want you to think we'd forgotten you and your cutesy smile.

Came across this and was like whoa!

At a time when airline security is all over the news, trust an American cop to have a bit of fun lol

Sooooooo cannot wait to see you on the screen tomorrow, Ahhhh, you're so dreamy!

Laura & Adeel xXx

hey russel. heres a story for you big hole in germany (sinkhole) appearing from nowhere.love your show.

Hey,

I love your shocked cat but . . . check out this really cute shocked mouse! its amazingg!



Hope you like it as much as I do!
Loving the show by the wayy! So funny!

xxxx

Ricky Tomlinson donates 拢1m to charity that houses families of critically ill children who are in Liverpool hospital... :)

More good news - it's amazing how much of it there is about when you start to look! :)

This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

omg. i love you so much(L) i loved your last episode and cant wait for tomorrow night :) cant wait to see you on the 1st of March look out ;) LOVEYOU!! RHKK- russell howard kirsty kaitlyn - :D xxxxxxxxxx

Hey Russell loving 3rd series the episodes have been great , you are my idol, keep the awesome work up !!!!!

cant wait till 4th episode.

Cya Russell from Ollie

How about singing nannies in Bath?



More on the legendary Norland College:



Hope this tickles your fancy!
MG
x

You can save by sleeping instead of eating. Bears can do it. My cat says he can't. He prefers to watch tv but none of his friends allegedly claim any benefit.

Please don't tell the same joke about bin laden and air miles again. It would be the third time. I'm not sure the third time lucky rule would apply in this case. It's funny though. Don't forget my ticket!

Oh my god. Someone just said you are so dreamy. You are. Crossed eye like a siamese cat. I agree. Love it. Make me laugh please. More than once a week for gods sake