成人快手

I like February. Today we had spring, and we might get it tomorrow as well (if the forecast is vaguely accurate). Went for a walk on the beach. It was a bit worrying getting there as the four wheel drive bit on the car doesn't work anymore. It makes a horrible graunching noise, and, more importantly, the front wheels don't go round. I'm not sure having power at the front wheels is very useful because we haven't put new tyres on yet since the tracking went because of the road, so there is not much tread and probably not much grip. I feel much less macho now without chunky tyres. Anyone got a dead Dihatsu with good knobbly tyres? Anyhow, we got to and from the beach OK and didn't see a soul on it, nor any seals in the sea. The dogs came back amazingly clean, but they ran around with the pigs later and got disgustingly dirty again.
I planted four sprouting potatoes in poly bags in the greenhouse, so that is the gardening season started, but I am not (AM NOT) going to look at seed catalogues until the polytunnel (either polytunnel) has some polythene on. But we let the pigs into the small field with the tunnel frame so they could do some digging. Black pig obligingly dug one corner up, but the two stupid pink pigs made holes in the boggy bits away from the tunnel. Hens don't eat rhubarb, or, rather surprisingly, parsley. Because I found some of each in the other tunnel, at least, it would have been inside if it still had an inside, or even a complete frame. Help. There is SOOO much to do!

We had a group up from Glasgow for a weekend of drinking and debauchery. They managed quite well. In the brief time between breakfast and the bar opening when they were vaguely sober, I got abuse for not blogging enough. They have fancy boxes and sticks and access the internet (blackberries) except for the very important people in responsible jobs, who leave anything work-related at home, so this year I am saving my tips money to get one and then I can blog at work too (dream on). Actually the no up-loading at weekends is quite restricting, please Anne, can't you pay anyone some overtime?
Anyway, the bar was full on Saturday, it was several peoples official birthdays, (official in the sense Saturday night was a good night to get drunk), we had fishermen in and the pool ladder winner was happy and no-one mentioned the rugby (well, they wouldn't would they, and no, it wasn't a try and I can't believe Jonny didn't get hurt) so spring is on the way.
The runway had its first plane. Twice. Apparently he left his mobile here and had to come back for it. The runway isn't supposed to be used yet, the gates are padlocked! How is that supposed to work? Anyhow, the guy working in the building wondered why the generator (there is no electric there yet, although the windsock is fitted with lights), why the generator made a funny noise, and when he looked out of the window there was this plane from Connel. The word is he needed hardly any runway, so that's that sorted out.
Digital darkroom is finished. We failed our end-of-course test. He gave us the same photo we had the first week and told us to remove the red eye again and got seven blank looks. We successfully pasted wind turbines onto the rocks at Hogh beach, and he showed us how to make them spin, so now I know how Arnish gets his flashes. Then I went and drank far too much with some very dodgy company and overslept and was late for work. It's ruined my reputation and made me vincible, I think that's a bit like the runcible spoon.

That's a musical title. I'm looking to see if anyone shares my taste in music. Actually I'm still waiting for the book club book. I've got the game I ordered to qualify for free delivery but not the book. The game won't work. I need a new graphics something or other. Hopefully Ming is on the case. Don't really have time to play with rollercoasters anyway, I'm assembling the Coll Magazine (this is not an ad). People are beginning to avoid me again. You never know how many friends you got until they stop coming in the pub. I've optimistically and arbitrarily decided on 80 pages this year (last year was 100) so now it is just a case of filling them. Tws would have no problem. Perhaps I should introduce a section on other islands.

Advance weather warning. Monday night will have weather unsuitable for fireworks as we are celebrating an 18th birthday. Do other places have as much enthusism for fireworks as Coll. The place is positively stuffed with firework freaks. We do have some great rocks to use as backdrops, and you can't beat the site of a small hill covered in small flames, it's just a shame the weather is so unpredictable. Even the June wedding included the great 'Get the Fireworks back in the Barn' race as the skies opened.

PS I've been informed there are now 201 residents on Coll. It is perceived (by the young male population) to be a bit lacking in young wimmin, but as three of the men are heading for the Park Bar in Glasgow perhaps some chaps from the Western Isles would like to pay a call. Especially anyone wanting to run an air service, as not much is happening on that front.

Well, I got it wrong about the weather, Monday night was perfect for fireworks. I felt a bit sorry for the dog owners, just for the record, it is not possible to sit on a German Shepherd and a Setter cross at the same time. But when Kevin does fireworks they all go up at once, so it was for a relatively short time. And the smell of cordite at the end was lovely, normally the wind blows it all away. Back in the bar there was fudge cake and a mega bottle of fizz and far more real ale drinkers than lager drinkers. Very briefly there were lots of helium ballons, but after several descant renditions of happy birthday the helium was gone! It is very odd watching someone suck the air out of a balloon.

There were interviews today for the job of postman. Not because our postman was quitting, because he isn't, but because Coll is being drawn back into the PO fold. Our postman contracts to do the job, he is not employed by the PO directly, gets no van and doesn't wear a uniform. He does a great job, except for delivering all the rubbish addressed to 'the occupier' which he isn't allowed to throw away, so I have to, and he did deliver a catalogue for the over 50s, AND I'M NOT! But anyway, now the mail want their job back, so he had to be interviewed for it this morning. I don't know if he will get a shiny red van. Seems a shame, considering what the job and the road west did to his last van last summer!
And on the subject of the airport, it's been in the papers recently. P&J and The Herald. Looks like flights are starting on 1 August now, not the spring, and two flights a week. Even the worst timetable we were asked to comment on had more flights than that! And not looking good for flights on to Glasgow either. I like Connel, I don't want to offend anyone, but why would anyone fly to Connel if they can't go any further without going back to Oban. I'll stick to the ferry thanks.
I'm still a fan of Calmac. Thursday was windy so instead of going back to Oban when it was too rough to dock the ferry sheltered in the Sound of Mull and came back out later when the wind had dropped. I don't know how much disruption it caused to the Barra sailing (sorry) but it meant our stag party arrived (just slightly the worse for wear) full of praise for their complementary meal and had a great time on Coll. Apparently A & B Council have complained to Calmac on behalf of Coll and Tiree. I don't know how Tiree feel about this, but there's not normally a shortage of people capable of complaining for themselves here.

Book club update. I'm about to start Anita Shreve. I've added Hillerman and Leaphorn to my Amazon wishlist. Neil Gaiman's American Gods? Well, the plot is a bit convoluted, the main character drifts along and it is difficult to work out why you would keep reading, but his dead wife Laura is terrific. IBHQ would censor me if I told you how she died but as a dead wife she is brilliant and very funny. The plot makes sense in the end, and the 'America as backdrop' is interesting to a non-American. I give it 5 out of 7, will probably read it again and will try another of his.