成人快手

I have a bone to pick with Jill of EK and all the other mainland regulars. You have duty to keep us poor islanders informed of the giant technical leaps made on the mainland, because we are easily confused and discouraged.

I had to rush down to London the other week, my Gran had had a fall and cracked her pelvis. Getting fourth-hand reports of stair lifts and downstairs bedroom conversions was getting too frustrating so away south it had to be. I dropped a friend off at Paisley hospital, had a mini IKEA fix and coffee and drove to Banbury. Why Banbury? a) because I was very tired and b) my road atlas came from Morrisons and had all the Morrisons stores marked and I thought I'd have breakfast there, and there was one in Banbury.
After an uncomfortable night on the front seat of the van I headed into Banbury. Couldn't find Morrisons but there was a Tescos (not my favourite supermarket) so I had breakfast there. On into London, saw my Gran and was much re-assured. She whizzed along the ward with the zimmer (although the physios haven't got her doing steps yet) and grumbled loudly that everyone was old and didn't talk. (I hoped they were all partly deaf, or they weren't going to forgive some of her comments). Back out into a traffic jam on the M4 and up to Solihull and another Morrisons. I wanted a pot of those salads where you help yourself to lots of different types, and when you eat it you wish you had put fewer different types in. Morrisons do good salads. Luckily so do Sainsburys, because I couldn't find Morrisons again.
North up the M6 to Penrith and another uncomfortable (and noisy) night. I woke far too early for breakfast so drove on up to Glasgow and did a burger van shop in Makro. Never never eat breakfast in Makro. On to Paisley, but alas, not to Morrisons, although Paisley has two Morrisons. I found an Asda. I have to admit Tescos do a better breakfast than Asda. Opposite the Asda car park was a huge advert for Morrisons, but too late, I'd eaten.
And the only thing all these stops had in common is that the milk has changed. Last time I was away milk, or millac, as they called it, came in little white ridged tubs with a lid that wouldn't come off 50% of the time. Now it comes in plastic tubes and looks like a Robert Wiseman lorry. And when you tear the top (which is easy) the milk comes out in a thin stream, which reminds me of when we milked our goats. But at least it isn't millac any more, it is fresh milk. Although I wish 'they' didn't think I was so gullible, the sell-by date was far too long for it to be fresh, it has to be heat-treated. But why had no-one told me. I wasted hours (minutes) searching for something that wasn't there. (I'm a slow learner, even back at Oban Tescos I was still looking for white tubs)


PS I've got used to the varifocals now, and the old glasses seem really odd, but my favourite bit is still tilting my head back and putting all you lot out of focus!