成人快手

By Ellie Rose H

Dear Mum,

For the past seven years you have been the acting head of the family. But there is such a thing as democracy, I hope you know, and I'd quite like to question your position.

You see, over the long years of your reign, I think we could all agree that things haven't been running too smoothly. Firstly let me draw your attention to the food. The chicken pie you served last Wednesday was inedible. We should not have to tolerate food poisoning on such a regular basis.

Secondly, I understand you're busy, but you could at least try to settle the atmosphere in the house when Charlie steals my things and then pretends that I pay Lucy to do my homework (which I do not, but the way!) Charlie is also upset about how you shrank all his sports gear and turned it pink. And Dad is not happy with the amount of shouting (and frankly swearing) that goes on when he loses his wallet, and keys, and phone, and shoes.

You're supposed to be the peacemaker! No offence, but you're doing a terrible job at this.

I have consulted with the rest of the family and we have decided to initiate impeachment proceedings against you.

So you better get a good lawyer. I already have my representative Lucy by my side and she also offered to be my finance director. What a kind sister! You will find us to be formidable team. See you in court!

Sincerely,
Saskia

Saskia looked up from her completed letter. She read it through carefully one last time to double check for spellings and felt thoroughly satisfied with herself. She signed it neatly in the bottom right hand corner and slipped the document under the studio door. She knew her mother would be in there drafting work emails or more likely cursing her father for losing his passport again and so she knocked to get their attention and promptly turned on her heel and headed upstairs.

She felt like she was in one of those reality tv shows. Some-one was going to get fired and she felt quite sure it was going to be her mother.

She marched upstairs and snatched her homework folder from her desk and then she slipped into Lucy's room and flung it on her lap. Lucy looked up at Saskia with a face that simply said "Seriously?"

"I'll give you a tenner," whispered Saskia.

"Make it twenty" shot back back Lucy and held out her hand.

"Deal! Now let's get down to business" agreed Saskia shaking her hand with a cunning smile.