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Killing Me Softly with His Song

Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea for the London Symphony Orchestra to attempt to perform from a hot air balloon, especially when they started to lose height.

Band of murderers

The lunatic fringe

Seem-funny Orchestra

When he said "Hit me with your rhythm stick", somebody took it literally.

Heavy metal? Heavy strings?

Darren's friend was really brassed off

Attacked by the Tubaway Army!

The grant the orchestra received was on a no-strings basis

Alley Orchestra

The tuba had hit Derek right in the orchestra stalls

Kevin had the lead Shakespearean role of A Cello

But the hit-and-run driver was driving allegro vivace

Band Aid needed

Seen for the first time, the mating habits of the brass and string section.

I've Got A Crush On You

Battle of the Bands

Though the song has ended, the malady lingers on

No longer a live act

Died on stage

Instruments of torture?

On the road again

Instruments of torture

And the Beatles never regretted their decision to go with just guitars and drums

Roll Over Beethoven?

This year's Fringe is dead funny

Orchestrated violence mars this year's Fringe.

Next time they went looting, they decided that they'd stick to lighter items.

Do you play R&B? No, just A&E.

It was alright they were only hit by a Nissan Note

We're just roadies now

I think we're going to need a tuba ointment after this

Band on the runway

That was the last time Terry and Derek would go busking on the M1

Hmmn.. I think this band are a bit flat?

I don't understand all the hype. Personally, they sound flat to me

The Double Bass was ok but what had happened to the Europa Cup.

Be flat, I'm telling you! It's right here on page one...

Euphon-asia?

I told you nobody could transcribe 'The Flight of the Bumble-bee' for tuba ...

Police say he was instrumental in this death.

Hey, did anybody get the number of that steam-roller?

The band had figured it was pretty safe to follow John, Paul, George and Ringo across that zebra crossing.

George and Jack had always wanted a hit ... but not by a BMW

Music and Drama degrees again prove useless.

"maybe its a big chord I'm a Londoner" and not Scottish !!

Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark - should have worn a hi-viz vest

All I said was have you been drinking son and asked him to blow into this

"So, tell me, what is a rip chord anyway?"

It was only to be expected as they had a very heavy night.

That cello has always been a hussy, but I thought the tuba had more class.

When I said hire some roadies this is not what I meant

"Actually I only wanted to learn to play the ukelele but the guy in the music shop asked me if I wanted to go large ."

New 'cobble effect' wallpaper causes 'orientation confusion' during newspaper editing.

He said he was a conductor and that we couldn't bring these onto his bus, then he chucked us off.

'Why do so many people take an instant dislike to the cello? It saves time.
"So you think that's funny hey, mister?!" '

Travellers Advice in Edinburgh. # 73: If a fellow drinker asks if you are looking at him don't say yes.

We must be top of the hit parade now

Jed and Barry audition really seriously for the lead in 'Ghost - the Musical'

Note to self, never, ever, try hang gliding using musical instruments again!

We only wanted to play the triangle and tambourine

It was the first celloectomy the surgeons had had to perform

"Do you know you're causing an obstruction?"

"You hum it officer, we'll play it."

Brian had always wanted to be an A-list celebrity, but had to accept he would only ever be cel-list

Their performance of Nancy Mitford's 'Love in a Cold Climate' was ideally suited to summer in Edinburgh.

It was raining really hard, and the ground was littered with huge Hallé-stones

X factor judges take it easy after being put under piles of pressure.

Freak storm delivers instrumental blow to Fringe performance

Melody-romatic

I said "Tube of Jello" not tuba and cello!

I'll bet that put hair on his g string.

Feeling brassed off and violinated

Police decided not to release pictures of the 'unfortunate' piano player...

The last thing I heard was hit me with a Tuna fish buttie

He was so nervous about performing, his legs turned to cello.

Warning: this show contains some sax and violins.

The naughty instruments never tired of their "will you play me acciaccatura?" joke with new orchestra members.

We're a bit flat actually

Tubby the Tuba and Chopper Cello both pleaded innocence at the trial.
Police are on the look out for their accomplice, Freddy the Fiddle, the real brains behind the band...

Best joke at the fringe was even funnier than expected.

And if he ever found the joker who packed his parachute with a double bass there'd be hell to pay.

"Look mum! Look dad! I've made it onto Caption Competition."

Are you horning in on the act?

On the bright side, we do have the excuse of not being able to see the sheet music.

Drunk girl hires a wedding band

Well that's what happens when you upset CE LLO Green

Violin crushes midget.

I think I might have fallen on the piccolo

Outbreaks of tuba-culosis and bass-illus anthracis cause havoc on the streets of Edinburgh

Trampled by mummers were they?

Did anyone get his tag number?

The pair were exhausted after working under a lightning conductor

Libyian rebels show off their haul from the Music Room in Gaddafi's compound.

Next time we join a marching band, I'm playing the piccolo

Students from the lesser known Hogwarts Music Academy who fail to practise sufficiently are punished by the Immobilisa Alfresco Fringiatus spell.

Maybe we could get work at Apple - I hear there are Jobs going there

They were half-way through Beethoven's Seventh Symphony when Derek and Harry suddenly understood the password joke

Entry 96 tidied up a bit:

Hogwarts Music Academy students who fail to practise sufficiently are punished by the Immobilisa Alfresco Fringiatus spell.

We're advertising 'The Inbetweeners', I'm between a rock and a hard bass.