成人快手

成人快手 BLOGS - Magazine Monitor

Archives for April 15, 2007 - April 21, 2007

10 things we didn't know last week

17:38 UK time, Friday, 20 April 2007

blossom203.jpgSnippets from the week's news, sliced, diced and processed for your convenience.

1. Mr Man author Roger Hargreaves is Britain's third best-selling author, having sold more than 100 million books.

2. Termites are cockroaches, according to the Royal Society's Biology Letters journal.

3. Denmark is the happiest country in Europe; Italy the unhappiest. (The UK was 9th out of 15.)

4. Kate Middleton's family tree has been traced back 200 years to ancestors who survived coal mining, malnutrition and a cholera epidemic in the North East.

5. Male doctors are twice as likely to drink and drive as anyone outside the health service.

6. Dr Seuss' name is pronounced Dr Zoice.

7. A water-tight denial by a politician 鈥 as opposed to one that leaves room for later manoeuvre - is known as a Sherman pledge. The other sort is called a non-denial denial.

8. Chocolate is better than a passionate kiss, causing a more intense and longer-lasting buzz, and doubling the heart rate.

9. The average Briton has sex 4,239 times.

10. Spiralling obesity rates are forcing councils to upgrade their crematoria, to take wider coffins.

Soures: 1 - the Times, 16 April; 4 鈥 the Observer, 15 April; 5 鈥 the Times, 16 April; 6 鈥 Daily Telegraph, 19 April; 9 鈥 News of the World, 15 April.

Seen 10 things? . Thanks to Nicky Johns for this week's picture of 10 pear blossom flowers.

Your Letters

16:57 UK time, Friday, 20 April 2007

Let me get this straight, a Birmingham man is jailed for four months for turning part of his home into a but the women who and filmed it are only given suspended sentences? I'm so glad this country has its priorities right!
Andrea, London

How exactly does someone estimate the value of a when it's painted on the side of a building? In what sense could it ever have a saleable value?
MJ Simpson, Leicester

Re Martin of Stevenage's query about the heat from the sun reaching Earth across the vacuum of space (Thursday letters). There are three types of heat transfer:
Conductive: Pan on electric hot plate. The pan gets hot.
Convective: Hot body heats a gas, so heat is then transferred to something else by coming into contact with the gas. Traditional central heating.
Radiative: Hot body radiates heat. Sun.
The vacuum flask prevents 1 & 2 by having a vacuum between the two layers (usually glass). It prevents the third by having a mirrored surface. The radiation is reflected back into the contained liquid.
At least that is what I was taught at school.
John, Cambridge

Heat is particles vibrating. No particles, no vibration, no heat. The sun radiates electromagnetic waves which CAN pass through a vacuum (e.g. infra red and UV radiation) - these excite particles in the Earth鈥檚 atmosphere and on the Earth, producing heat.
Ta da!
Kaz, London

I would refer Martin to those eminent scientific popularisers Michael Flanders and Donald Swann. Their song The First and Second Laws of Thermodynamics should tell him everything he needs to know about thermal transfer across a vacuum.
Peter Howard, Cambridge

hamburger2_203.jpg
The following letter was received in out 10 things inbox:
Hello, Here's a couple of fun pictures. I made a large hamburger out of 10 pounds of meat and a 13'' bun. I then offered some to my dog, but she didn't know what to make of it.
Ramon Pedoto

Re - Kate's mum would have certainly had a lesser problem had she said "what". "Pardon" is a contraction of "I beg your pardon", and considered quite vulgar.
Peter Allen, Coventry

Re the 鈥 reading this story in the Sun about Heather Mills鈥檚 dance on a plane, she isn't once referred to as 鈥淟ady Mucca鈥. Is this the first time the Sun hasn't used the term since the pose pictures came out?
Mark Ivey, Hartlepool

Re: Emma's "looking for light relief in the shape of a goat" (Thursday letters). Careful now, that's what caused the marriage the last time round.
Gus, London

Caption competition results

13:05 UK time, Friday, 20 April 2007

space424.jpg
It's time for the winning entries in the caption comp.

This week it's the successful attempt at the Guinness World Record for the largest simultaneous space hopper bounce on London's Millennium - aka Bouncy - Bridge. But what's being said?

6. Sean Smith
London gang culture must be taken seriously, says police chief.

5. Stig
New Health and Safety regulations change the Grand National somewhat...

4. Lee Pike
With the drawing pin strategically placed, the others watched in anticipation.

3. Sue
Finally, a use for all of Jordan's rejected implants.

2. Bruce Ambrose
Turnout for first Annual Haemorrhoid Sufferers Convention higher than expected.

1. Lee Heyes
The Green Party's space program fails to live up to expectations.

Thanks to all who entered.

Paper Monitor

13:01 UK time, Friday, 20 April 2007

Every day in Magazine Monitor Paper Monitor sets out to highlight the riches of the daily press. But now and again, a story is so overwhelming it warrants a closer look.

It is rare that a story from abroad with so few implications for British society so totally dominates the domestic news agenda. But Monday's massacre at Virginia Tech is only starting to ebb.

The Sun still saw fit to have it as its main front page story on Thursday (see right). And even today most of the newspapers have some representation for the story on their fronts.

suned.jpgMuch of Friday's focus is on the eerie similarity between images sent by the killer, Cho Seung-hui, to NBC, and the Korean movie Oldboy. One picture of Cho wielding a hammer is particularly similar to a scene from Park Chan-wook鈥檚 critically acclaimed film from 2003.

The pictures are meat and drink for the tabloids, although there's no unanimity on just how much of a part the film played in Cho Seung-hui's life. The Daily Express says: 鈥淗is bloody mission was clearly influenced by a violent South Korean cult film.鈥

In the Daily Mail, Paul Harris writes: 鈥淚n his twisted mind he carried images of a violent Korean movie that appears to have scripted his thoughts". Another scene from the movie shows a man holding a gun to his head as Cho does (seen right).

mail.jpg
The Star simplifies things on behalf of its readers with the headline "MASSACRE OF MOVIE MANIAC" and a sidebar on 鈥淐opycat murder horrors鈥, while the Sun is more equivocal. It does, however, wander off on a tangent of description.

鈥淚t [the film] features scenes of tongue slitting, skull hammering, dental torture and someone eating a live octopus.鈥

For its parts, the Daily Mirror explicitly links the film and the actual nature of the violence, but attributes this tie to the US police.

New concerns of a link between violent films and real-life killers are the theme in the Daily Telegraph, where an opinion piece by culture select committee chairman Gerald Kaufman asks film-makers to consider their choice of themes more in a world where the line between media and reality is blurring.

The Mail's Stephen Glover is far more strident, attacking 鈥淗ollywood鈥檚 glamorising of brutal and conscience-less violence鈥. The fact the film in question is Korean is irrelevant, he says, as this culture has spread across the planet.

But if it appears the link to Oldboy is conclusive, some bloggers have been busy rubbishing the notion, noting there are no obvious cues in the plot. Indeed, Professor Paul Harrill, who teaches film and video at Virginia Tech and originally made the observation, has expressed scepticism in US papers, blaming "news outlets using a mass murderer's fantasies as sick spectacle and - let us never forget - as a source of revenue".

The film, as much inspired by Greek tragedy and revenge dramas like Titus Andronicus as any recent US films, is about a man imprisoned for many years who tracks down his captors. There is little analysis in any of the tabloids of the killer鈥檚 references to Jesus and crucifixion.

Across the week, the coverage has had to sustain itself with only a steady drip of facts. If nature abhors a vacuum, then journalism does so twice as much. In the absence of facts a welter of speculation and analysis is inevitable.

But there have been some columnists who have tried to see if there is any link to the UK. And others have attempted to understand why the US should be so afflicted by this particular form of tragedy.

In Tuesday鈥檚 Times, Gerard Baker talked of 鈥淎merican exceptionalism鈥 noting the 鈥渃ountry鈥檚 religiosity鈥 and an 鈥渆conomic system that seems to tolerate vast disparities of income鈥.

His criticism of the media鈥檚 unsettling enthusiasm for statistical landmarks like the largest US school massacre is followed by a warning.

鈥淥nly an optimist would imagine Virginia Tech will hold the new record for very long.鈥

Daily Mini-Quiz

09:43 UK time, Friday, 20 April 2007

Yesterday we asked which airline shares the record for being named carrier of the year five times, along with BA (the most recent winner) and Singapore Airlines. It's Virgin Atlantic, which just 16% of you correctly answered. A whopping 63% said Cathay Pacific and another 21% said Malaysian Airlines. Today's mini-question is on the now.

Your Letters

16:07 UK time, Thursday, 19 April 2007

The first letter on the letters page is getting longer by the day. A nice, short, witty letter like this would be much more suitable.
Chris, London

I am amazed, the has made it to number one on your most emailed after first appearing on Friday, 24 February, 2006 at 16:40 GMT. Amazing on a day when we are reeling from mass murder in the US and again in Iraq. I can only assume that the serious and somewhat devastating events of the last two days have sent the masses looking for light relief in the shape of a goat.
Emma, London

I wonder if the poll on whether work harder is inversly indicative of the truth. That men are ahead may just mean that there are more of them not working and looking at the 成人快手 website than women who are actually doing the work! Just a thought though. (And by the way, I'm on a day off!)
Laura, Oxford

"A 拢7m , which has no rides", was that a tad of irony on the part of the 成人快手?
Baz, Norwich, Norfolk

On reading about the London "" - Amora - I was surprised when a quick search on the internet told me that Amora was a Hebrew word for a specific group of Rabbis. Then I discovered it literally meant "Oral Teachers", maybe not so inappropriate for a sex theme park!
Keith, Loughborough

Good effort on the , but David Letterman has been playing "Know Your Cuts Of Meat" for years. May I suggest "Know Your Middle Class Vegetables". I have yet to tell the difference between rocket and fresh water spinach.
K Walker, Runcorn, UK

Sorry, I have to disagree with Martha Figueroa-Clark regarding the pronunciation of Plaistow, E13. My nan lived around the corner from the station in Rudolph Road for forty years and there really is only one way to say it (unless you're a Northerner which doesn't really count): it's Plaa-stow as in father.
Michelle, London

Re: how to say lieutenant, does someone who works on a bank holiday get time off in lef?
Andy, Leeds, UK

I'm currently doing a science project with one of my home-educated boys and need some information. If you know the answer to the following question or a place I can find it, let me know. A thermos flask works by using a vacuum to prevent heat leaving the liquid. But, if heat can't travel across a vacuum, how does the sun heat Earth?
Martin, Stevenage, UK

Paper Monitor

11:22 UK time, Thursday, 19 April 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Ah, the sun has been shining for several days on the trot and this has quite put the smile back on Paper Monitor's face. And so it seems fitting to seek out wee nuggets of joy in the papers...

Whole stories in headlines and cute animal pictures,
Dave Cameron posing and (er) girls downing pitchers,
More on the love life of future kings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Hmm, best stop now. Paper Monitor's lyrical capabilities have been stretched well past their limit. But at least the papers feature examples of all of the above (apart from lassies on the lash, but Paper Monitor was struggling to find something that rhymed with pictures).

THE TYCOON, HIS FERRARI-DRIVING SEX-MAD LOVER AND A FIGHT WITH THE FARMER THAT ENDED IN COURT - the Daily Express. Ding-DONG!

Animal pics are in somewhat short supply other than a rare leopard licking its chops in the Guardian (the Daily Mail wasn't in Paper Monitor's bundle today).

But Dave Cameron has obliged by posing for a staged-looking photo op by sweeping up discarded tyres. And trust the Times to add to the fun. Several pages before it runs the full picture, the mighty People column has a close-up of his ethical trainers and asks "which budding style icon could it be?" Paper Monitor thought this a trick question - Gordon Brown, perhaps - but no. At least he's got a bit of mud on them this time.

And back to the Express again for the continuing saga of the Wills and Kate break-up.

"WILLIAM AND KATE: DON'T RULE OUT A ROYAL REUNION... AS THE PRINCE GOES TO THE CINEMA ALONE". And what did he see? Blades of Glory, the US comedy about skating rivals. Cod psychologists will surely have a field day with this choice by a man licking the wounds of lost love.

Daily Mini-Quiz

10:05 UK time, Thursday, 19 April 2007

Yesterday we asked how many of the Premiership's 556 players are donating a day's pay to help nurses. A massive 65% of you correctly picked that it's only 71. Another 22% reckoned it must be 227, and 13% gave the players the benefit of the doubt and said 556. Today's mini-question is on the now.

Your Letters

15:31 UK time, Wednesday, 18 April 2007

Re: Jane of Oxford's pull-yourself-together letter (Letters, 17 April) It must be lovely to be so self-assured. The morality of mis-lit aside (can't bear it myself), it's not exactly helpful to suggest that once a person reaches 25 they should "stop blaming their parents for the mistakes in their lives". Abuse in any form, be it sexual, emotional or physical leaves deep scars (I'm pretty sure this is a documented fact rather than conjecture on my part) which can't simply be dismissed at an arbitrary cut-off point. Actually, I feel better just for getting that off my chest. Thanks for the catharsis, Jane.
SG, UK


Yay! Being 23 means I still get to blame my parents for my faults.
Jenny Em, Aberdeen


Does anyone else think that the science has been done by scientists who don't get much by way of kissing but probably spend a lot of nights with a sofa piled with chocolate? Still, if it cheers them up a little who can blame them.
Basil Long, Newark Notts


I'm not sure if this is the right place to send a letter to Paper Monitor, but I would like to say Bravo! I really enjoyed
today's edition of the news summary - very witty and funny! It really cheered up my day (especially after the Best Place in the Country to live HYS).
AJ, London


Dear Paper Monitor, Mrs Liz Jones STILL uses the Mail, namely the You magazine as part of the Mail on Sunday, to document the decline of her marriage. I find it tedious and depressing, and in a way, I wish they would just call it a day so that someone else gets the chance to write something (I may find) entertaining. Yes, I do vote with my red button, I don't read her column any more.
Hazel, Hove, UK


Re: Worse than watching TV or playing computer games?
John Whapshott, Westbury, WIltshire, England


Re: It says that during 10 months of internet chat and games, there were no awkward silences and the couple just seemed to click - well they would, wouldn't they?
Janet Hayes, Pontypool, Wales


I find it odd that the 成人快手 Pronunciation Unit feels able to comment on how the word "lieutenant" is pronounced and then bottles out on the word "controversy". Does it not know that the proper pronunciation is "kuhn-TROV-uhr-si"? How controversial...
J Paul Murdock, West Midlands, UK


Now that lucky Luke knows what his motto means, I suggest he now contacts the 成人快手's Pronunciation Unit to find out how to say it. No good having a high brow Latin motto if you can't impress the neighbours.
David, Jerusalem


May I be among the many to point out that your regarding chains, lunatics and sex is normally attributed to Sophocles, although in fairness he probably did say it in Greek.
George, Cambridge


Punorama Results

12:43 UK time, Wednesday, 18 April 2007

Comments

meldrew.jpg

It's Punorama results time again.

As ever, we gave you a story and you sent us punning headlines.

This week it was news that the UK is one of the most unhappy countries in Europe, according to a new report from researchers at Cambridge University.

The reason is our wavering trust in the government, the police and authority, says the report. Of the 15 countries included, the UK fell into the bottom half at ninth. Denmark came top, followed by Finland and Ireland. Italy came bottom.

So how did you do? Some very popular entries this week, kicking off with United Kingdoom, sent in by Scott Humm and Mike Monk. Running with the same theme was O.G. Nash, who sent in Undelighted Kingdom and Tim Knott with United King-glum.

Am's suggestion Land of Mope and Glory - and slight variantions - also proved popular. Land of Mope and Woe-ry was sent in by Graeme Wilson, while Stella suggested Land of Mope and Fury and Kieran Boyle went for Land of Mope and Worry.

Honourable mentions for Gripe Britain, sent in by Don Logan and Douglas Lee, Rue Brittania suggested by Tim Francis-Wright and Narky in the UK, the offering from Helene Parry. Duncan Hoffmann went for Reasons to Be Tearful and Stuart for Reasons to be Fearful.

But favourites this week are National Mistrust sent in by Brian Ritchie and Thy kingdom glum from Kip. Bravo.

Paper Monitor

11:12 UK time, Wednesday, 18 April 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

No shortage of serious news today. All the papers have a welter of coverage of the Virginia Tech shootings, made up variously of photos of the victims, timelines of the event, ripped-off blog entries, and - crucially - cod psychology trying to look inside "the twisted mind of a campus killer". The Sun boils the story down to its essential elements: "SLAUGHTER BY WEIRDO".

But one big (foreign) story does not a newspaper make. So what is leavening the mood for HM Press this morning?

For the Sun, it's the twin revelations that a contestant on ITV's Grease is the Word previously took part in a contest to find Page 3 Idol. And they have the photographic evidence to prove it. That's some job, keeping across the entire database of young women who have at any stage of their youth posed for a Page 3 picture, just in case any of them at any stage of the future become well known for anything other than taking their tops off. Must require a very special talent for remembering faces. And actually noticing them in the first place.

Our old pals at the Daily Express are giddy with excitement that 拢1 today buys $2, and that AT LAST items such as jeans, tennis rackets and DVDs are finally within our grasp.

The Daily Mail, often dubbed the voice of Middle England, is still smarting at Prince William's rejection of Kate Middleton, supposedly on the grounds that she is too middle class. (Is there such a thing as too middle class? Not on Daily Mail Island, there isn't.) It has a "lighthearted quiz" to help people assess what class they are, and thus presumably how insulted they should be by Wills' actions.

Here's a sampler question:

"Your house was built in:
a) The 1990s.
b) The 1890s.
c) 1790s? 1590s?1190s? Depends which wing you mean."

It's dreadful stuff, really. But that's as nothing compared to the feature it also runs on the "girls" who were looking forward to lucrative careers as Kate Middleton lookalikes who are now "out of a job". Paper Monitor has, on your behalf, stared long and hard at these women. One, if you squint long enough to go a bit dizzy, might just pass for Kate Middleton on a foggy November night. The others? Well, cheer up girls, you've really not lost anything at all.

How to Say: Plaistow

10:44 UK time, Wednesday, 18 April 2007

A weekly guide to the words and names in the news from Martha Figueroa-Clark of the 成人快手 Pronunciation Unit.

The Pronunciation Unit receives a weekly digest of audience comments relating to pronunciations in 成人快手 broadcasts. This week, the pronunciation of the place name Plaistow attracted much attention, as did the words "lieutenant" and "sixth", both of which feature in the weekly digest from time to time.

Getting the pronunciation of British place names right at first glance can be tricky as they sometimes have more than one possible pronunciation (e.g. Shrewsbury which can be pronounced SHROHZ-buh-ri or SHROOZ-buh-ri locally) and place names that share the same spelling but are in different parts of the country do not necessarily share the same pronunciation. Plaistow is a good example of this. It can be pronounced PLAY-stow (-ay as in day; -ow as in now), PLAA-stow (-aa as in father) or PLASS-tow (-a as in hat). The place in Derbyshire is PLAY-stow; in London it can be pronounced PLAA-stow or PLASS-tow; in Kent it is PLAA-stow or PLAY-stow, while Plaistow in West Sussex is pronounced PLASS-tow.

Besides place names and people's names, we are often consulted about the pronunciation of English words. Would you pronounce "controversy" as KON-truh-vur-si or kuhn-TROV-uhr-si? "Kilometre" as KIL-uh-mee-tuhr or kil-OM-uh-tuhr? There is a great deal of variation in the pronunciation of English words among native speakers of English but, contrary to popular belief, the Pronunciation Unit is an advisory service and it is not part of our role to enforce the use of a particular pronunciation of an English word. With the help of resources such as specialist pronouncing dictionaries, it is possible to advise our users on which pronunciations are more common or preferred in particular contexts or by specific authorities, or are considered non-standard or simply incorrect.

In the case of the word "lieutenant", the British English pronunciation differs significantly from the American English pronunciation: whereas it is pronounced loo-TEN-uhnt or lyoo-TEN-uhnt (-oo as in boot) in American English, it is pronounced lef-TEN-uhnt or, sometimes, luhf-TEN-uhnt (-uh as in the) in British English. In advising on the pronunciation of this particular word, the speaker's own variety of English would be an important factor in helping to determine which pronunciation recommendation would be appropriate.

Finally, the word "sixth" has more than one possible pronunciation in English. It is usually pronounced SIKSTH in British English (pronounced as the word 'six', with 'th' as in 'thin' attached at the end), but can also be pronounced SIKST-TH. The pronunciation SIKTH (where the 's' is silent) often results in casual speech but is considered incorrect.

(For a guide to our phonetic pronunciations, click here.)

Daily Mini-Quiz

09:44 UK time, Wednesday, 18 April 2007

Tuesday's Daily Mini-Quiz asked who had been named the most influential unelected person in the UK after Tesco boss Sir Terry Leahy? An impressive 59% of you correctly opted for Bank of England governor Mervyn King. Today's DMQ is on the Magazine index.

Your Letters

15:52 UK time, Tuesday, 17 April 2007

Regarding your , surely it is rather that people are desperate to have an excuse for not being where they thought they would be in their lives, and thus they trawl back through childhood for a Significant Incident to blame everything on? The books encourage the reader to try and find similarities between themselves and the characters; rather than a national obsession with paedophilia, it is a national obsession with blaming somebody else for all that has gone wrong in our lives. Not taking responsibility. Julian Barnes wrote that after the age of 25, we can no longer blame our parents for the mistakes in our lives - I'm inclined to agree, and think everyone would be considerably better off emotionally if they followed that advice.
Jane, Oxford

So according to the photo caption, public transport in Denmark is "ominously" clean. What does that mean? I can only imagine that it's a typo, and should have been "omnibusly clean".

Brian Ritchie, Oxford, UK

Whew, and there was me thinking that SMOKING caused and all along it's the bacon butties. Bin the bacon, pass the fags.
Sam, France

Re: Luke from London. I emailed the nice headmasters PA at the school with the very similar motto to his family's and she replied that his motto is "God is the leading light". I'm wasted in my job.
Trish Sutherland, shotts, scotland

Re: Luke. "Deo Luce Duce" is "With God's Guiding Light". Too bad if you're a family of atheists.
Sylvia, Cambridge

Luke, Deo Duce means 'With God for a leader', so I presume that adding luce (light) means "With God's Light As A Leader". Whether this is something with which one can abdide, I don't know. Maybe it means you should read The Sun?
KWalker, Runcorn

Luke, my Latin is a bit ropey, but I think your motto means "Lord, illuminate my duck".
Robin, Edinburgh.

I will have to take the scientist's word for it, that is better than kissing, but what about kissing somebody who has a mouthful of chocolate?
Owen McManus, Belfast, N. Ireland

Since we've had more than 5 fifth Beatles, the real question is who was the fifth fifth Beatle?
Matt Folwell, Cambridge

Re: your posting times. I see you worked late last night (Monday). What I don't understand is why today's Monitor offering reads "Posted on Tuesday at 11:26 UK time" and it didn't appear until 15:00ish. Is your UK time different to my BST? And why were you working so late? Set the example and be like the Danes (knock off at 16:30), the French (work only 3 days a week) or local government employees (only when they have to).
John Smith, London

Paper Monitor

11:26 UK time, Tuesday, 17 April 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

The shootings in Virginia predictably dominate every front page, but aside from the straight reporting, eyewitness accounts, rundowns of previous "school" massacres and heavy use of pictures, is there anything more to add? The Daily Telegraph drives the story forward more than most, with the musings of a behavioural scientist. And sniffing the merest scent of an argument about this justifying Britain's tough gun laws, it weighs in with a heavy fist to remind us gun crime is rising in the UK, not falling. But its front page line about this being the "worst mass shooting in the US" surely stretches the bounds of believability for anyone who knows a thing or two about the Civil War or the Wounded Knee Massacre.

The tragic events in Virginia mask the fact that, with Defence Secretary Des Browne still resolutely in his job and interest in Kate and Wills tapering to a glorified picture caption in every royal watcher's bible, the Daily Mail, it is, as insiders might say, a quiet news day.

Then there's the Daily Mail's Nirpal Dhaliwal. Paper Monitor aficionados may recall this column's ennui at the musings of columnist Liz Jones, who used to document the decline of her marriage in the pages of the Mail. Mr Dhaliwal is, or was, Mr Liz Jones - Paper Monitor never quite got round to checking whether the couple finally called it a day. He too is possessed of strong feelings about male-female relationships and happy to issue-forth with 2,000 words or so on the subject of "WHY MEN AND WOMEN HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON (EXCEPT SEX)". It's an opportunity for the readers to, once again, indulge in the minutiae of the Jones-Dhaliwal marriage and some sweeping generalisations鈥 eg: "no man is aroused by the thought of a warm breath against his neck"鈥 "women think and think about their lives"鈥 "no intelligent man spontaneously asks a woman to marry him"鈥 and so on.

Just in case this sort blatent of reader-baiting doesn't rile its audience enough, the Mail makes it abundantly clear just how controversial Mr Dhaliwal's opinions are with a strap across the top of the page: "A brazenly provocative blast that will enrage BOTH sexes". Or, as Mrs Merton used to say: "Let's have a heated debate".

Daily Mini-Quiz

09:35 UK time, Tuesday, 17 April 2007

Monday's Daily Mini-Quiz asked how many days Tony Blair had been in the top job. The answer 鈥 according to the Times (the Monitor is far too pressed to make such calculations) was 3,638 鈥 answered correctly by 42% of respondents. Today's DMQ is on the Magazine index.

Your Letters

18:12 UK time, Monday, 16 April 2007

In reference to quote of the day "'Pleased to meet you... toilet... pardon' - Phrases used by Kate Middleton's mum said to have displeased the Queen": all three phrases are listed as socially taboo in Kate Fox's wonderful expose of English manners and customs, Watching the English. However, the crowning glory of the snippet is the reference to Kate Middleton's "mum" in the explanatory prose: a hugely loaded term in KF's study. The implication seems to be that, by virtue of having made such social faux pas, Mrs. Middleton clearly is a "mum" rather than a "mother"
David, Cambridge

Re Dave Godfrey's letter about Neil Aspinall being "equal fifth" Beatle, I always thought that the fifth Beatle referred to Stuart Sutcliffe. But maybe there was only one "fifth Beatle" at any one time so those mentioned would be the "fifth Beatle at that particular time".
Katherine Broadhurst, Cardiff, Wales

Re: Fifth Beatles: Pete Best was of course one of four. Jimmy Nicol replaced Ringo for 10 days; Stu Sutcliffe played bass (sort of) when The Beatles were a five-piece band. And Billy Preston played on the Get Back sessions, so there were five musicians present. Maybe the best candidate is the late Mal Evans, The Beatles' faithful roadie, who died so tragically.
John Whapshott, Westbury, England

Know your hamsters, 成人快手. The hamster in is Syrian, not Chinese.
Pamela, Bradford

Saturday's article about the break-up of Kate Middleton and Prince William's relationship described Prince William as having "a life dominated by the destiny he will one day fulfil". As opposed to the other sort of destiny, presumably.
Bob Peters, Leeds, UK

May I be among the first to nominate for the title of "things we already knew last week"?
Kate, Oxford, UK

Here's yet that turned out to be disappointingly tame after the headline - was anyone else expecting another Norton?
Katy, Cambridge

In response to David Cormie's letter on Friday about Latin translation, we have recently discovered that we have a family motto: Deo Luce Duce. An internet search has proved fruitless. Can anyone translate for us please? It might help us to abide by it.
Luke, London

Paper Monitor

13:16 UK time, Monday, 16 April 2007

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

There's only one story in town for the tabloids: Kate and Wills' break-up (with the curious exception of the Daily Express which, having long obsessed about William's mother, turns its attention to its number two obsession - weather).

But at least the Express is on solid factual ground with its giant "80藲" headline marking the top temperature in some parts of the UK yesterday, while the other are, technically, at least, dealing in rumour.

Not that the lack of something as trifling as official confirmation - there has been no official word from either side in the story - would get in the way. Why, even the prime minister has waded into the fray, commenting on a story that so far has been stood up on unnamed sources.

There's a test for the maxim "all publicity is good publicity" as the Daily Mail runs a photo across its front page of the unfortunate Middleton wielding a cardboard box bearing the legend "Spar - Onion Rings" and heading into her parents home.

Paper Monitor hopes Spar is braced for a Delia-style rush on their no-doubt tasty onion-related snacks.

The same image appears in the Sun, which means that it is not a paparazzi image, as it was the Sun (and the rest of News International's stable) wot promised not to use any of the erstwhile future queen (EFQ). Neither can the Sun's use of images of Kate and Wills in a group of friends and alone on a skiing holiday be deemed paparazzi. So there.

The Independent doesn't seem to be acknowledging the Kate and Wills affair, unlike its brainy cousins on the Guardian, Times and Telegraph. But what's this? A two-page spread inside the paper on "the Royal Reject: The end of a romance".

Strangely, the royal in question is the wonderfully-monikered Isabel Sartorius y Zorraquin de Marino, once a girlfriend of Spain's Prince Felipe. Only in a weensy factbox does Miss Middleton get a mention.

The Telegraph carries the extraordinary suggestion that acquaintances of William mocked Miss Middleton's non-traceable-to-Norman-invaders lineage and non-U speech, and were particularly scathing about the EFQ's former airline stewardess mother. They would whisper "doors to manual" as Kate arrived, the paper suggests.

Paper Monitor is not impressed.

Daily Mini-Quiz

09:38 UK time, Monday, 16 April 2007

Friday's Daily Mini-Quiz asked who is the third British novelist to be nominated for the international Man Booker prize alongside Ian McEwan and Salman Rushdie. It is Doris Lessing (29%), although most (42%) opted for Zadie Smith. Today's DMQ is on the .

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