Paper Monitor
10:58 UK time, Thursday, 22 February 2007
A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Let's hear it for equality, eh ladies? Another panel in the glass ceiling has been shattered as the All England Club prepares to close the prize gap between male and female tennis players.
And how does the Daily Telegraph celebrate (other than emblazoning that most comely of winners, 2004 victor Maria Sharapova, across its front page)? With the headline: "EQUAL PRIZE MONEY FOR WIMBLEDON GIRLS."
The Times, somewhat more with the programme, opts for "WIMBLEDON IS READY TO FALL INTO LINE WITH EQUAL PAY FOR WOMEN".
And the Sun claims the very same story as an exclusive. Although quite how a tip-off that takes the form of a press conference invite can ever be "exclusive" is anyone's guess. The clue's right there on the invitation - press conferences are never held for just the one journalist. (Paper Monitor suspects that there must be some press conferences so niche that only one journo turns up - on potato taxonomy and nomenclature, perhaps, attended by a writer from Potato Abstracts magazine. Suggestions welcome via the comments button below.)
Elsewhere, the tabloids reflect on what an incestuous world celebrity dating is, getting aerated that Sienna Miller - Jude Law's ex - has been canoodling with a young man who has previously squired Kate Moss, Lindsay Lohan and Courtney Love about town.
"EX ON THE BEACH" shrieks the Daily Mirror above its photo spread of the happy couple. "SIENNA, JUDE'S EX, SMOOCHES WITH MOSSY'S EX, LOHAN'S EX AND LOVE'S EX". If Paper Monitor wasn't paying attention, it would get confused and assume that young Sienna has not one but three boyfriends on the go. Which, of course, she does not.
The 
Comments
Press conferences for one eh?
To explain why the number of attendees at the annual 'DeAgostino Second Issue Buyers Convention' was so low.
To announce the implementation of traffic calming humps in Little Snoozing on the Doze.
To proclaim that Freddie Starr is still eating hamsters.
To advise the correct usage of the JML Mop 'n' Go.
"Paper Monitor holds press conference to finally release gender identity."
Granted there would be a lot of people turning up - but how many would actually be from a newspaper outlet?
There used to be a periodical called "Electron Spin Resonance". (Maybe there still is!). Press conferences on this topic probably wouldn't need extra chairs. Any bets otherwise (or that Helen Mirren will lose on Oscars night), the bookie will be displeased to see you.
Press Conference: to announce issue of Volume 5 of "Recent Developments in Ruminant Nutrition" by Philip C Garnsworthy.
(Volume 4 available at a 98% discount on the RRP here: