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In other news, nurse Jayne (who's more Annie Nightingale than Florence Nightingale) arrived back from Manchester today just in time for me to be almost totally better. She missed the agony and pain that I suffered alone at home having to fetch my own Lucozade (other energy drinks are available at stores nationwide) and attempt to eat chocolate digestives again just to give me another energy to get back upstairs.

It's incredible though how your body digs into its reserves at times of crisis, and how often the hardest battle is not just the physical one, but the mental one.

Now that I have my health back, something else is concerning me, and it's to do with birds.

In the last couple of days I've noticed that my car has been getting heavily cacked on in an aerial assault from the local featheries.

I don't understand this phenomenon as there are no trees overhead, and I can only assume that maybe there's a new bird style flightpath for migration which goes straight over our drive on their way to Africa or wherever they go for their winter sun.

At first I thought it might have been a revenge attack for us not putting any treats out for the local trick or treaters, but now I think it might just be nature's way.

Either way, it's really annoying as my shiny black car is now covered in white s****, and I'm going to have to clean it again for the third time in a week. So if anybody knows of any new migration routes for local birds and have experienced a similar problem, feel free to get in touch below in a community kind of way.

Right, must dash as I need to ask Jayne to press my shirt for the awards tonight.

It's nice to be alive again

Speak soon

Dave