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It all started with a simple watery eye, which I presumed was caused by hay-fever. Then my eye turned vampire-red and I was in the grip of a major eye infection. This has wiped me out since the weekend. I've had headaches, eye-pain and an inability to deal with daylight, TV or computer screens for more than ten minutes at a time. I've been holed up in a darkened room for most of the week. Small children are starting to point up at my window and laugh. I feel like Boo Radley.

I phoned the doctor and she phoned me back. They try not to give you actual surgery appointments these days. She recommended an over-the-counter ointment which came in a little tube. I had to squeeze this into my eye every four hours. It was like smearing grease over a camera lens. Suddenly the whole world was either foggy or in soft focus. It was like being trapped inside an old Noel Coward movie.

But now tonight the pain is gone and you can see the white of my eye once more.

I'm heading towards the light.