成人快手

Yesterday I laughed on the phone with an old lover, and that is something I never imagined I would do. I say 鈥榣over鈥� rather than 鈥榩artner鈥� or 鈥榖oyfriend鈥� because being in that relationship made me realise just how deep I could love, and how worthy and deserving of love I am, and that was despite not always feeling worthy or good enough. When I was in school, although I knew everyone, I wasn鈥檛 one of the popular girls; if I was lucky at times I would get to play joker or the insufferable sidekick that longed to be noticed. I also had undiagnosed dyslexia and ADHD, so with no support, I was in the bottom set for everything, which meant I had no hope of hanging out with the smart kids.听听

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Instead, I was a wanderer, learning to bend who I was and contort myself to fit into groups and situations. This stayed with me right into my adult life. The听very first conversation I had with that boyfriend听he called me 鈥榓 people pleaser鈥�, and told me, I would be wonderful if I didn鈥檛 try to fit in so much.听He really helped me. Challenging听me at every point, and听questioning the reason why I did things.听听Through this I learnt my likes, dislikes and even created boundaries that allowed me to have healthy relationships in other spheres of my life.听

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When he declared that he wanted me in his life permanently, I was overjoyed. It felt so right, and I was so happy. I planned how we would tell my parents,听but then听he broke up with me! He was never really clear on what the reasons were, but it hurt, a pain I never thought I would get over, and I was sure I never wanted to see his face again.听听When I was going through it I came across a verse in the Quran where Allah听says that burdens from our back are removed: 鈥楧id we not raise you high? With each hardship comes ease, verily with each hardship comes ease.鈥� When I heard it, I did not understand it, but laughing on the phone with my ex听yesterday, I now know dark times do not last forever, and even they help me to grow.