成人快手

Nine months ago I was persuaded to don an armpit level rubber glove and venture into the nether regions of a jersey cow.

What am I waiting for?

I'd issued a challenge to North Yorkshire's farmers - give me a dirty agricultural job - and David and Anne Shaw at Grey Leys Farm in Elvington came up with a corker.

"Come and artificially inseminate one of our cows". Doing a James Herriot wasn't nearly as bad as I'd imagined: it was nice and warm in there on a chilly day and she stayed beautifully still.

Then came the call - 'my' cow had given birth to a top class Belgian Blue heiffer. I was a Dad! Or maybe a Grandad...or a Godfather or a surrogate father.

Gorgeous - the calf that is!

She's seriously cute, as you can see. She's soft and fluffy and will spend her life as a suckling cow, giving birth to more well-pedigreed calves.

She's an aristocrat in the bovine world. Her real Dad's semen cost a packet. And I made it all happen.

I'm still up for yucky agricultural challenges to rid me of my townie tendencies. Just contact me via the form below.

Julia Booth