Sally heaved herself up in bed in answer to loud knocking.
A handsome care-worker breezed in. Plopping himself on the
wheelchair, he swung round in circles bemoaning the fact
that some people had it made, lying in wait to be whisked
off to pleasures of the flesh, whilst he had to risk life
and limb on his ancient, rusty bike, through the madness
that was twenty first century Dublin gridlock. Lucky the
lady, who captures his heart, thought Sally as he gallantly
helped her off the bed into the chair, and raced, wheels
spinning towards the Jacuzzi, keeping up a stream of banter
like a chat show host.
Luxuriating in the warm bubbling water, free for the moment
of pains of the body, Sally knew that this was a watershed
time. Tomorrow she must face reality again and a new life
on the north of the border, back to family and old friends.
These past few weeks had helped her to sort out many things
and plan new horizons. She had learned meditation, started
to paint again, and had even written a poem! But most of
all, she had learned to ask for help. From a large family,
she had learned self-reliance from an early age and prided
herself on her independence. This trait sometimes caused
a bit of friction between her and Joe.
Joe and Sally had grown up together. At school Joe was
always there to help her fight battles, make life easier
for her. At secondary school they had gone their separate
ways. It was in Dublin at college that they came together
again, fell in love and got married after they had graduated.
When they discovered that little Daisy was on the way,
they put their city apartment on the market and moved to
the wilds of Wicklow to realise their long time ambition
of buying a cottage with a few acres to start a garden centre.
A lot of hard work was involved but they lovingly planned
it together and in the spring of the second year, they had
their grand opening. Little Daisy was a sunny rosy-faced
child, thriving in the outdoor life, learning to walk and
talk amidst flowerpots and watering cans. The future looked
bright with the business growing at a steady pace.
In the autumn of that year Sally got the long awaited
call from hospital for non-urgent surgery for an ongoing
medical problem. Timing couldn鈥檛 have been better.
Things at the centre were slack at this time of the year
and she should be well on her feet again for the springtime
planting. Joe always shone in times of need so she had no
worries about him or Daisy.
It was a few weeks after the operation that it became clear
that all was not as it should have been. Sally felt so ill.
She was in constant pain, could barely walk, talk or even
think clearly. At the six week check up the consultant was
very concerned. He thought that the surgery had been successful
but there was obviously something else wrong with her. He
referred her to a neurologist. Another long wait ensued.
They put on brave faces to each other saying that it was
bound to be something simple. Sure she鈥檇 never had
a day off sick before and lead a fairly healthy life style.
After many weeks in hospital for all sorts of tests they
had a diagnosis of M.E. but nothing in the way of treatment.
It was something that she was going to have to live with.
Back at home again things were different. Daisy had changed
- from sunny and outgoing to a moody clingy child. Sally
was too ill to have patience with her and Joe was run ragged
trying to look after them both and getting little or no
sleep, what with trying to do all and keep Sally鈥檚
spirits up which was an uphill battle. The answer to their
problems seemed to jump out at him from the newspaper. An
au- pair. He made the call straight away and before the
week was out Roma, an energetic Italian, with a good command
of English had arrived and was a big hit with Daisy. She
soon had a routine established and the house shipshape.
She was great company for Sally who had found the isolation
almost unbearable. Life now had regained a semblance of
normality and Daisy quickly bounced back to her usual self.
Joe was very busy with the sowing and planting, happy now
that Daisy was being well looked after. The greenhouses
had lost their sparkle for him and he was now working alone
so it took more than twice as long.
Sally was beginning to get used to her new sedentary life.
She spent long hours alone and missed Joe鈥檚 company.
She worried about the business. There was far too much work
for one person and they couldn鈥檛 afford to take on
any paid help, what with the medical bills on top of everything.
She kept these things to herself as Joe had enough to worry
about. There was a new playgroup opening in the village
and Daisy would benefit from the company of other children.
Roma was more than willing to exchange her role of minding
Daisy to working a few hours in the greenhouses. For every
problem there was a solution. As long as she had Joe, she
would be ready for whatever life threw at them. Sometimes
Joe wheeled her down to the greenhouses for an hour or so.
Sally loved these times but tired very quickly and soon
had to be taken back to the house. This really upset both
of them and stopped the flow of work. Joe was working night
and day to ensure all was ready for the Easter-time rush.
The house was uncannily silent with Daisy gone all morning.
Sally sat by the window, tears streaming down her face.
Joe and Daisy seemed to be getting on with life and she
was stuck in this gaping void of sickness. She could hear
peals of laughter and the babble of talk from the green
house as Roma and Joe, heads close together, got on with
the potting- up. She felt the burden of her illness prising
herself and Joe apart. Even getting dressed left her absolutely
drained, so she stayed in bed and lost interest in everything.
She moaned at Joe constantly for not spending enough time
with her and when he did, she remained sulky and withdrawn.
They would all be better off without her dragging them down.
Joe was glad to escape to work at the sight of Sally鈥檚
tearstained face. Roma was a tonic. Always bubbling with
enthusiasm for whatever task he set for her and she was
a natural with Daisy. She reminded him of the old Sally.
He knew that they could not manage without her. They were
growing closer and this worried him. Sally had changed almost
beyond recognition. She was very depressed and had lost
all faith in the medical establishment.
Joe was doing his level best. That particular morning,
she lay staring vacantly at the ceiling, ignoring both him
and her breakfast. Banging the door behind him, he stormed
downstairs. After he had calmed down, he began to feel uneasy
about Sally. Never before had she behaved like this. Taking
the stairs two at a time he burst into their bedroom. She
lay so still, a death-like pallor on her face, an empty
bottle of painkillers on the bed beside her.
After a spell in hospital, a lot of counselling and some
medication, Sally felt that she had been given the tools
with which to face the reality of her illness. Now finding
it difficult to believe that she had allowed herself to
get so low, they were busy making plans again. The garden
centre was put on the market. It was too much to cope with
and they had decided to move back home where there was a
large family network to help them through difficult times
and of course, there was the National Health Service to
lift the burden of medical expenses. Joe had taken Daisy
to stay with her grandparents while he found a new home
for them. He would be joining the burgeoning family business
of organic farming.
Sally鈥檚 stay at this beautiful respite care centre
was almost over. It was a wonderful oasis wherein she had
rediscovered some of her old zest for life. She would start
painting again. With a bit of luck she might even be able
to sell some of her work, and maybe even try her hand at
writing. She now knew that she couldn鈥檛 do it on her
own but that Joe and Daisy and her siblings would be right
behind her all the way. It would be good to get back home,
to hunker down, to heal.
