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If you're planning a wedding and you don't have much money then you need the internet. Luckily, I have the latter and in the five months since being proposed to (and if I'm honest some months before) I estimate I've clocked up around 800 hours browsing all things bridal online. Yes, 800. 20 weeks of a full-time job. And no, I'm not proud.

Unless brides-to-be have paid a planner to take care of absolutely everything, or the happy couple have just booked into a register office with the corner shop cashier and the cabbie as witnesses, weddings - particularly for brides - are all-consuming affairs.

When my married friends told me "planning a wedding is so much fun", I stupidly believed them. The odd conversation about themes and colours, trying on the first three wedding dresses, thinking of speeches, is fun. But dreaming of turning up in a green velour medieval costume with white satin cowboy boots, is not fun. Getting headaches and sore eyes from staring at the screen too long, is not fun. Screaming at people for daring to think that I haven't already considered every single colour in the spectrum or every possible vegetarian alternative, is, OK, a little fun. But it's not cool.

What's done this to me? Those 800 hours on the internet. It started out as helpful. A forum here, an online moodboard there. A few tips on keeping costs low from brides who'd been there. But then. Then it went too far.

It stopped becoming a way of helping me check off tasks and became a new world. A big fat overwhelming world filled with other people's expectations, ideas and budgets. I even signed up to a wedding forum. I never sign up to forums. I get in, take what I need and get out before I'm too attached. But no, being a bride-to-be has changed me. I'm one of them. Them that worry, them that mull over every second of the day, them that think friends and family care about the font their name's in on the invite.

If you want more than 10 guests it seems, it's really hard to suppress the Bridezilla and certain forums let you think that it's OK to be that way, when it's really, really not.

There's a lot to be learnt from the web with people offering handy hints and ideas, but remember 100 people offering you advice is 100 people who can criticise or question your decisions. It's 100 people telling you 'oh but you HAVE to have a cake' or 'it's YOUR day, you deserve a £2000 dress'. The last thing brides want is extra pressure, but by frequenting such places we run the risk of just piling it on ourselves and forgetting what was on the original checklist.

If you're going for a DIY wedding, there are some great online shops selling all things arts and crafts to help you realise your theme. Second hand dresses can also be a good money-saver, and Preloved is full of newlyweds and divorcees selling on their gowns for a fraction of the original price, but make sure you're clear on the returns policy and are given an accurate image of item. Don't fall for the too-good-to-be-true deal and think you can get a designer copy for under £100. I decided paying £25 return shipping was worth satisfying my curiosity over a dress made in China. I wasn't surprised when it turned up looking nothing like the photo and made of cheap fabric, but at least I know. Some brides report good experiences with such dresses, but I would urge caution.

Don't forget, second-hand weddings also work both ways and if you're buying things new, don't think it's money you'll never see again. When you're back from your honeymoon and the thank you cards have been written, take the time to pack up your wedding napkins, table cloths and decorations and sell them on.

Spending too much time in the e-world of weddings can leave you feeling isolated from the real people who actually want to help. So far, the most enjoyable part of the process for me has been going through craft ideas with my mother - who until two days ago, I had no idea had made a scrap book of fabric samples and ideas. Talking themes and food ideas with my mother-in-law left me feeling positive rather than bewildered, as did a calm word from the man whose stupid idea this was in the first place, reminding me that things will get done step-by-step. The web should be used to assist you with your decisions, not confuse and delay you while you make them.

If you're planning a wedding online, by all means take inspiration, take ideas, take the discounts, but take a break.

Hajar is a regular contributor to the WebWise blog and has also made award-winning programmes for ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ Radio. In her spare time she loves reading, writing and singing.

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