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Well it's been two weeks since I ordered my new smartphone from my not-so-smart service provider and I'm still waiting.

To cut a long story short, it wasn't delivered on time, then it was cancelled and now it's out of stock. Such is the demand for these miniature mobile computers that poor social-network-a-holic commuters like me are left feeling like their whole life hangs in the balance while their existing device heads into the 'stupid phone' bracket.

A thousand questions are running through my already panicked mind. How will I wake up in the morning? What will I do on the train to pass the time? How will I even know what train to get or where to walk when I get off it? My palms start to sweat, my pulse races. Must find a life, err, I mean phone.

After a two year relationship with my current model, it rests in my hands ready to take its final breath. The start-up time has tripled, the case is scratched and my email takes a whole 90 seconds to load. NINETY SECONDS?! I might as well be waiting for a tube!

Like many consumers wanting the next best thing I'm not too busy, I'm just impatient and let's face it, a little bit lazy.

So what exactly are smartphones and how have we progressed from being impressed by an incorporated calendar and game of Snake (remember that?) to not being satisfied until the world fits neatly in our pockets in the form of a mini-computer? It all started with Simon.

Simon says

Simon was the first smartphone - a rather stocky touchscreen model put on the market in 1994 for a whopping 900 US dollars. It had a calendar, address book, games and email, but the term smartphone wasn't actually used until 1997 and has really only been part of standard phone lingo in the last five years with the touchscreen mobile handsets.

We're now being introduced to a new generation of smartphones that can be used as computers by linking them up to a monitor. But that sounds far too clever for me, and I'm not a fan of carrying around a projector when a magnifying glass will do.

Nice apps

A smartphone wouldn't be half as smart without its applications. Apps can be downloaded via 3G or wireless and some (often games) run independently of any data connection. Navigation apps and those that run off information feeds (like news or transport updates) will need some form of data connection.

There are price comparison apps to check an item you want isn't cheaper elsewhere; you can track where your friends are; you can even - with augmented reality - point your phone at the sky and know what constellations you're looking at or how a sofa would look in your lounge. There are general apps to help with transport and weather and there are branded apps that allow you to log on to firms and, say, track goods deliveries (although I hasten to add it can't actually speed up the manual part of this process). I couldn't live without my navigation apps. Leaving the house with just an address and my phone to guide me is a real timesaver, but I really should try to be less reliant on it. If my phone died tomorrow, I wouldn't even know the way to its funeral!

As with all portable technology though, personal security should be a key concern. When buying apps, read carefully who you're buying from and how much of your information they will have (this should all be in the T&Cs before you buy). If you use location apps (the ones that tell all your friends where you've just 'checked in') be aware who you're allowing to see this. Most importantly, remember that if your 'phone is your life' it will contain a vast amount of information about you, your work and your friends and family. Storing passwords and bank details is not a good idea. Even if you report the phone missing or stolen and your network blocks it from making and receiving calls, data may still be stored on it so be mindful of this and password-protect it if possible.

Unfortunately there isn't a smartphone app that will make a new one miraculously appear, so I'm going to have to continue using one the old-fashioned way and scream down it until a new one arrives.