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Petty Squabbles
Day 22: still no sign of Captain Morgan. Noel stepped in to take the hot seat, while he's resting his ribs (moaning that the pain was taking all the fun out of the painkillers). But he was in fine form, still trying to set up his patented "Noel Gallagher pet-naming service" to capitalise on his unique "gift" for naming animals. To test his prowess, I once showed him a picture of a ladybird which he duly christened "Spot" and another of a wild boar who he left saddled with the name "Boss".....hmmm.
Still Noel seemed happy enough with his requested rider of soft porn and pot noodle (ahhh... every man's basic needs satisfied). Russell's basic needs have always seemed to be a bit more far reaching: resolving the revolution, reconnecting to a higher form of reasoning and retaking his A-levels in a bubbling hot-tub. It would be interesting to see them both in a sitcom though, especially any episode where Noel tries to rename Morrisey!
Excuse the Jacuzzi
Every path that claims to be eternal is in reality a circle,
To the distressed damsels across the land,
A little hot-tub won't hurt you,
Check the X-files of naming pet crimes,
The truth is out there, so expect lies,
If we reject styles based on sex and crimes,
We'd have less razzle and more noodle to infect minds,
Farms of fussed pots,
Sarah and Katie's love lost,
Amidst the chapsticks and cracked ribs,
For every slapstick, there awaits a cross,
Beyond the collapsing dollars and pounds,
The back of the cab's still gaining ground,
But where there's a will, there's a wheel,
and sometimes a goose or penguin to be found!
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A bi-partisan bicker
It appears that in the aftermath of the VMA fallout there seemed to be several heavy subjects weighing on Russell's mind. Was it the M.I.A. status of fellow co-conspirator Matt Morgan? Was it the injuries sustained by ground soldier Noel in the line of fire? Or was it the inspired hope and dream that some day we'll all rise above our respective differences and unite as one people, one aim, one destiny. All to the sound of "Chugga Chugga?"
Good to see Simon Amstell again, he's a blast from the past from the old days of Russell's "small weird gigs" which would normally end in utter mayhem (not much has changed there I guess!). This time the "gig" took us through a discussion on prejudice, freedom of speech and the twin peaked occupants of a wonderbra (not much has changed there either). It also gave Dita Von Tease a chance to experience the Brand banter in full flow and interestingly enough, she didn't really seem to mind all the Buzzcocks!
Freedom on a Half-Shell
Freedom of speech decrees all one and each,
Shouldn't wish for permission to be given to reach,
If it's forgiveness you seek,
Or a collision to reap,
Then test the waters, test the lands, test the valleys and peaks,
To reclusively speak on the revolution elite,
Pop the bubble, free the grasshoppers,
Break the wind that's released,
The Waterman believes for "Chugga Chugga" to peak,
That's what virgins on the conspicuous conditionally seek,
Different techniques compete for bisexual critique,
Let's add race to this "Jolly Box" and a Grange Hill plot is complete,
From Dita Von Tease to Simon Amstell, Russell's teeth chatter to greet them,
I guess such a release of speech exposes the true cleavage of freedom!
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"West End Gee"- R.I.P.
After over 190 shows of bright lights, live mics and fighting daily stage fright, "West End Gee" has finally left the building. Yes, "Into the Hoods" has been the first Hip Hop production to ever reach the West End and broke the record for being the longest running Dance show there (previously held by Swan Lake). It's truly been an amazing experience for me and despite Russell's tireless fishing for any sordid gossip, the bait was never taken (smile).
It was a bit of a strange show with both Alex James's and Noel Gallagher's phones being on the blink. I guess that the old Blur vs Oasis rivalry even extends into the realm of mobile network reception. Next week, it'll be the countdown to the Video Music Awards..... hmmmm do you think perhaps we can expect Morrisey's name to surface somewhere amongst the nominees?
The Fired House
With the final octave that rocked it,
Rings for Roses, test optics,
Faceless voices expose choices,
With God's endorsements of shocked bits,
The good Doctor's space-hopped it,
With a Lord Viking or Hobbit,
Befriending a Branson with the plan to fly cheap super-sonic,
Air bag the vomit,
Alex James "flute-winking" symphonic,
Bellowing to Cellos in devil-throes of broom handle colonic,
Adorning Laura with an award for her Fraggle Rock scoring,
Wet-tailing the genitalia until the VMAs are calling!
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