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A Green eye for Xena
Ok, I'm now officially jealous! For the past couple of months I've been listening to the "dynamic duo" (or in most cases, the "manic Uno") recount Hollywood tales of Limos, Demos and legs akimbo. I was cool with it, kept my poetical resolve and carried on with my own little life of launderettes, tube upsets and today's forecast? "windy and wet ".
Yet when I came in to listen to the pre-recorded show and heard that Lucy Lawless (aka Xena: Warrior Princess) was in the studio brandishing her lyrical sword, I must confess that I was envious. Of course I was imagining her wearing the full warrior regalia, arriving on horseback with Gabrielle to do the show. Actually, maybe it's a good thing that I wasn't there as my melon would've been well and truly twisted.
A Post-Pre-Recorded Echo
Past the remnants of very large stars,
Is a horizon of events viewed from near and afar,
Time's distorted, a pre-recorded echo's exported,
A pair of pips exchange quips over fridge etiquette aborted,Of course Paul McKenna loves the "Crazy Monkey" tender,
Orang-utan mammaries expanded, melon's twisted forever,
Fleeing from bumble-bees, apologies to donkeys,
There's pizza to put yobs to sleep,
Unless mamma Lawless speaks erotically,Oddly, Lucy's in the mine with miners,
Monk rats and cats provide the track to field to China,
Meanwhile, I'm arriving to find those in different time zones,
Gloriously marching through Hollywood and exposing my prose
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Wehsten-ghi
Thanks to you, the wonderful jingle-jangling R2 listeners, I now have "west end gee" buzzing around inside my head, like a small mosquito who feels obliged to attack both your ear-lobes at 4am in the morning. Hats off to its creators though, for it is addictive and I do smile the compelling delivery of the lead vocalist.
This show was the "Noel Gallagher Special" where we attempted to warm the cockles of our favourite Mancunian Candidate. We also had GMTV's Lorraine Kelly resisting Russell's charms and egg-consuming Matt resisting Russell's tantrums. I particularly liked Will Self's unique take on life, LA and his exclusive writing tips. He does make you want to put pen to paper and just pour all your thoughts out onto the page.... let's see...what am I thinking about?... "west end gee"...*sigh*.
Talking Books, Turning Pages
The moment a new page is turned,
It's barely visible to the world,
The side of the future confronts the past,
The thin line of the present is what we earn,
The right to see, excitedly,
The makings of a tantrum, decidedly,
With bellows from flip-flops,
Stilletoes on lil' tots,
Interrupting Matt's nosh-job,
To say that we're surrounded by robots,
The moment a new page is turned,
Will Self displays a new world,
Lorraine Kelly stays firm,
With her tea shaken-not-stirred,
This show's dedicated to Noel,
Who remains firmly in control,
Cos no Soprano can dare go,
Where his thumbs now roam!
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