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Louisville Lip (part four)

Rob Hodgetts | 16:37 UK time, Saturday, 20 September 2008

By Rob Hodgetts and Alex Trickett

Shop 'til you drop
After some Ryder Cup-embossed Waterford Crystal or a complete clothing ensemble for your golfing kid? Can we tickle your fancy with an official dog leash?

All of this (and so much more) is available at the 38,400 sq ft gold mine - which doubles as the Valhalla shop - slap bang in the middle of the 12th, 13th and 14th holes.

"We don't give out numbers, but business has been brisk," said the store manager in one of the world's great understatements.

"We'll sell 50,000 caps and even more men's golf shirts. And the women's apparel market is our fastest growing."

The good news for our friends at 5 Live is that they also plan on shifting 60,000 portable radios (5 Live is providing the on-course commentary for Europeans and Americans alike).

neiman438.jpg

Basically, there's something for everyone if you like golf and/or tat; a Valhalla golf ball ($3, £1.65) for the thrifty, an original oil painting by ($250,000, £140,000) for the less thrifty.

And a rather natty putter fashioned from wood felled here at Valhalla and at in Spain ($200, £110).

The Lip emerged with a modest 20-buck Ryder Cup T-shirt. Get in the hole!

Give me five
Not exactly a shrinking violet at the best of time, Europe gaffer Nick Faldo pretty well dived in front of rookie Oliver Wilson and his caddie at the 11th tee to offer his opinion on club selection.

His golf buggy screeched to a halt yards from the Lip and Faldo's big palm spread out wide to signal a five iron before Wilson let rip.

It didn't quite work out, his ball falling short right of the green, but Faldo's presence alongside the pairing he was criticised most for on Friday night seemed to give them a big lift.

Taking the Michael
Not one to shy away from a major golf event, basketball legend made his presence felt at Valhalla on Friday, cosying up to European vice-captain Jose Maria Olazabal.

ollyjordan438.jpg

He was then on hand to give Nick Faldo a (albeit with a broad grin on his face) as the European skipper's best-laid plans crashed around him during the afternoon fourballs.

Don't tell dad
This week's prize for putting your foot in it is currently going to a US golf fan in a green shirt.

As Justin Leonard paused, pondered, pontificated and generally scratched his head before hitting his second shot to the 7th in Friday afternoon's fourball match, our impatient hero eventually piped up: "Come on Justin, what do you want, a laptop to work it out?"

At which point his orange-shirted pal dug him firmly in the ribs and pointed to the elderly gent standing in front.

"Man, shut up, that's Justin's dad," he whispered. The pair descended into giggles while the Lip coughed loudly as cover.

Blame the tools
The Lip found itself lunching with a couple of burly engineer types who were in animated discussions about a circuit board they had with them.

"Yeah, it's cooked," said one ."Mmm, vaporised," agreed the other. Enquiring what said board was for, one of them, a giant of a man called Pete, said it was for the screen which displays the European scores in the media centre.

"That's why we're not rushing to fix it," he drawled.

Here come the Germans
If you thought bagging the sunloungers first thing was a uniquely Germanic trait, think again.

Fans at Valhalla have been marking their territory with deckchairs before wandering off to watch golf elsewhere.

A party of Scottish supporters, the men in the team sporting the full kilt-sporran combo, reached the par-three 8th with the nearest group five holes away but were dismayed to find that they would have to position their own deluxe camping chairs in the second row.

That's the sign of a decent upbringing. The Lip is not sure it wouldn't have been a touch more, shall we say, pushy.

Duffers united
At least one half of the Lip has a severe condition. It's a form of the yips (called being crap) and it renders him useless at chipping. It's afflicted him for some time now but he's learned to live with it.

stenson438.jpg

But watching Henrik Stenson play up to the 2nd on Saturday morning was like attending some sort of self-help group.

Stenson's partner Oliver Wilson left his approach short and the Swede was faced with a straightforward chip onto the green. No obstacles in the way. Nothing. Just smooth, green grass.

So imagine what a tonic it was when Stenson produced the sort of fluff, duff, chunk chip that the Lip has made its trademark. The ball flopped about two feet forward and Wilson was still off the green. Welcome to our world.

Perennial student
Watching the the other night, a graphic came up to accompany shots of US Tour pro Woody Austin.

Among plenty of interesting stats, was a line about him being a Business Administration graduate from the .

Granted, college affiliation means a lot more in the US but this information tickled the Euro Lip.

The man's 44. Isn't it time to move on?

Matchplay blues
It's about this time in the Ryder Cup that the blues set in and you realise that soon it will be all over and you'll have to go back to watching boring strokeplay for another two years.

The cut-and-thrust, ebb and flow of the matches is so absorbing that you wonder how you can sit through a grinding 72-hole strokeplay event. Not that strokeplay isn't great.

But it's like the end of Wimbledon or the Olympics, when for a brief period you question how you ever lived without them just a fortnight ago.

Country croon
Today's is from and tackles the tricky subject of how to secure a top table with the man above when your time is up on earth. It goes something like this:

Preacher told me last Sunday mornin'
Son, you better start livin' right
You need to quit the women and whiskey
And carrying on all night

And goes on:

Here's a ten to help you remember
Next time you got the good Lord's ear
Say I'm comin' but there ain't no hurry
I'm havin' fun down here

Now, the Lip's no expert, but is bribery really the way to go?

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    As per the "Give me five" entry - and what a lift from Faldo! You have to give the skipper (and Wilson and Stenson obviously) some credit for that one. Most of the world's media had already scored a point for the USA when the Europeans were drawn against in-form Mickelson and Kim. But the unlikely lads pulled off a massive shot to keep Europe in the hunt. Wilson will be so up for it when he goes in the singles on Sunday.

  • Comment number 2.

    Why oh why isn't Justin Rose playing this afternoon? This has to be a major blunder on the part of Faldo unless he has a spot of tummy trouble. Rose that is. I can think of no other reason why he should have been left out. It hardly matters because the behaviour of the entire American team and the spectators is shockingly poor and seems designed to put the Europeans off. Surely the European team have some tablets for upset tummies. Rehydration sachets etc. The preparation for this Ryder Cup has been woeful.

  • Comment number 3.

    Laodicean2 - Not sure I agree on the conduct of the American crowds. If anything it is all rather sedate out there at the moment.

    You may be right about Rose though. I just spotted him at the practice green and he was on fire, draining 11 out of 12 tricky six footers. A few minutes later, Jimenez and Wilson popped over for a putt.

    Morning hero Wilson missed three shortish putts, prompting this response, just out of Wilson's earshot, from a passing American:

    "He missed all three. I coulda done better".

    "Yeah but you couldn't have holed that 25-footer against Mickelson and Kim," said his mate.

    Nicely put!

  • Comment number 4.

    Alex

    The crowd might be behaving themselves but Faldo forgetting to pack the immodium is unforgiveable.

  • Comment number 5.

    The European players all need that imodium the way things are going just now.

  • Comment number 6.

    "Laodicean2 whinging sickness" is the new disease of this blog...no cure for it except ignoring the repeated complaining of sportsmanship rather than focusing on the great play of 24 golfers.

    Looks like it's setting up well for tomorrow's singles...

  • Comment number 7.

    The European players appear to be put off by the constant loud cheering of the Americans in the crowd every time an American player hits a good shot. It's nothing short of disgraceful.

  • Comment number 8.

    I'm looking forward to the final day's play - and the singles look 'interesting' to say the least. Pivotal games are surely the openers Kim v Garcia - Sergio with something to prove this week, and Kim to announce his international arrival..
    Mickelson v Rose, if Mickelson does not play like he's expected to .. uncertainty could run thorough the US team....
    The BIG game however will be Weekley v Wilson, Boo has become the talisman this week, if Olly can turn him over... What then ?

    Europe tried to arrange the big bang last week... let's hope its this weekend instead...

    PS More Ryder lookalikes: Jim Furyk and Sam the Eagle Muppet, and some years ago now Tom Kite and the bloke with the glasses from Buggles... C'mon Europe !

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