The Beach
What is the Beach?
It鈥檚 a place to go when the stresses of your real life need relieving. Sometimes it is fairly quiet and you might feel like you鈥檙e the only one around, but you can leave your 鈥榝ootprints鈥 for others to find later on. Othertimes it is the home for a real party, with constant gossip, leg-pulling, rumour, innuendo, chit-chat and weirdness. If this were a forum (and it sort of is because we post responses to each other, not just to Eddie, hence our term for ourselves 'Froggers', a combination of forum and blogger) then the beach would be the off-topic area.
It's a tropical location, no matter the time of year it's always warm and pleasant there.
Sunrises and sunsets are spectacular, the evenings balmy. It has a number of different locations; the Nick Clarke waterfront bar; the smokers corner; Fido's Run for the dog-walkers; the Naughty Step and many others.
How do you find your way around? There is no direct answer to the question.
The beach is a moveable feast, literally. It will be renewed by our Lord and master Mr. Edward de Mair each Friday morning. This is because we have found in the past that when the number of posts exceeds about 600 the entire thing becomes unwieldy and unstable. A case of the beach turning to quicksand.
Froggers often leave bottles / glasses / trays of their favourite tipple on the bar for others to sample, not to mention big / small eats.
There is a herd of camels who frequent the sands, which froggers are very fond of. There are sun-loungers, so you can take it easy and catch some rays. Quite often the late-night attendees will have a barbie.
It's a fun place, with only one real rule; Be nice to each other; we are ALL chums here. New Froggers are ALWAYS welcome.
The real debate happens on the other threads. The beach is a place for banter, whimsy, relaxation and friendship, where jarring comments are not particularly welcome. There are certain very mild protocols, which you tend to pick up as you go along. So slip your shoes off, feel the sand between your toes, relax and enjoy yourself.
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Who drank all the Bishops Finger......?
What a glorious morning for frogging, I have brought coffe and blueberry muffins..help yourselves, just going for swim. Will do scrambled eggs with crispy bacon and toast when I return.
Who drank all the Bishops Finger......?
What a glorious morning for frogging, I have brought coffe and blueberry muffins..help yourselves, just going for swim. Will do scrambled eggs with crispy bacon and toast when I return
First up on a new Beach? That's unusual for me!
Still, must get on. Lots to do in May but there's just time to sample Nikki's wonderful breakfast followed by a quick paddle before things get going.
...is that really kedgeree? Oh, n-n, you darling!!
Fifi
Fifi....frayed knot..
.....sea a bit chilly when you first get in, but you will soon get used to it, come on in...splish...splosh....splash...splash...splish...splosh....splash...splash...splish...splosh....splash...splash......that is sooooo good..
Two eggs over easy for me, with wholemeal toast (no folic acid, please), and BLACK coffee, as strong as I can make it is available to all rocket fuel enthusiasts.
Getting windy up here in May. Testing the canvas....off to upgrade a semi-antique computer (daughter's cast-off) to serve some purpose as yet undetermined.
Living in interesting times, as noted by my constituency MSP (the new Presiding Officer). A minority government with an Alex in charge and another presiding and the Greens in the catbird seat... Why do I suspect My MSP was secretly glad to abandon his Tory loyalties?
Personally, I think he'll make an excellent Independent, and may well get re-elected as such in four years. A good man.
Perhaps the previous two paragraphs are not Beach-talk, sorry.
Off for a dip before donning geek disguise.
xx
ed
# Happy Birthday to me
# All drinks are now free
# Come in and have a paddle
# In the beautiful sea!
In case you're wondering, it's the big three-oh.
Interesting... following the "What's this?" link (next to the social bookmarks) eventually led me to ...
Completely mad idea, but fun nonetheless :)
Hi everybody..
I left my sunglasses behind yesterday, has anyone seen them?
I can't stay I'm on the Cincinnati hop today and Captain Fantastic is a stickler for perfection....bless him.
So all together...Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome aboard.....
Catch you later if I can from Ohio.
Love to all
Miss De.
xxxx
mittfh...
Happy Birthday..have a good one.
30....God, that seems so long ago now!!!
Have to go back to May for a while, I ma supposed to be on a long weekend but brother in law needs a phone extension wiring in...no peace for 'sparkies'...catch you all later...ttfn
Ooh, a special birthday, mittfh. So, to help you/us celebrate:
1 case finest champers
1 case Black Sheep from the north west
1 case Doombar from the south west
1 pin of best Bavarian lager from Germany
1 case Villa Maria Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand
1 case Cabernet Sauvignon from South Africa
1 case finest single malt from the Islands
along with a varied pack of miscellaneous other booze and mixers.
For those (like me) of a more fragile constitution in the morning, I'll set up a non-alcoholic breakfast bar.
Well a Hippo Bathday to you, mittfh! three-oh isn't that big:-)
mittfh - Happy Birthday, and I love the spamtrap installation.
Hi Ed I. long time no see, or have I just been missing you? Good luck with the geekery.
Off for a stroll on the lovely new beach and then scrambled eggs would be lovely please.
Well, that lot soon disappeared!!
You froggers may not say much before 9:30, but just look at those empty plates!!!
What was there: eggs, of course, cold meats, some rich fruit cake and butter, ice creams, a chocolate fountain, and the 'cheese from round europe' dish in the shape of a map! All hoovered up !!!
As for me, I just stuck to toast and marmalade....
tee hee!
n-n
xx
Mittfh - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! have a fabulous one! Anything special planned?
Big Sis - wow, what a selction! would it be presumptous to open the bubbly?? its such a good morning drink and doombar is splendid for starlit slurping as the waves skim the sand.
Fifi - in case you didn't see it on the last beach when are you off? And have a great time x
Sis,
You forgot to include Liffey Water ;-(
Anne P,
I've actually been doing some things in May, but it takes an inordinate amount of time to keep up with y'all. The new memory seems to have gone down well with the old girl.......now, where's that pci card....?
xx
ed
Mittfh, Happy Birthday, you slip of a lad!! I'll start baking the cake right now......
Fifi, all the best for the weekend. I hope everything goes well for you. xx
EdI: Didn't you look in the huge crate of miscellaneous other booze? That's the one which contains 'everything your heart desires' so everybody should find what they want there.
I'd never forget the old Liffey, and I'm just supping a Black Velvet now (too early for a pure Liffey for me, I'm afraid, and the champagne just gives it - and me - that little lift I need of a morning).
I think you'll find there's plenty left for you.
Hello everyone!
Soooo busy in May as I'm preparing to move house and hardly have a minute to frog. Normal service will be resumed after the big shift (although not sure yet exactly when that will be!)
Meantime, here's a selection of herbal teas for all those wanting to stay healthy this morning, and some lovely bacon sarnies (locally sourced, organic, of course) for those who are just plain hungry like me!
And Happy Birthday Mittfh! (I've meant to ask you this before -- what does "Mittfh" mean?)
A, x.
Thar' she blows!
I never thought of frogging so far out to sea, but i can *just* see the beach (well, the trees and the top of the NCM Bar) ...
...what a gorgeous day to be simply messing about in boats!!!
nikki
xx
Appy - hope it goes well!
Big Sis - thanks again for a wonderful start to the day!
Righteo, I've just hauled in a box of lucky dip party/goodie bags - take one, open it up, and see what's inside! So what if they look suspiciously like supermarket carriers - you can fit more stuff in than the kiddie-sized bags :)
-oOo-
As for the nickname, it's a bit of a long story.
Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin :D
When I started Uni (doing a Biology degree), I became far too interested in the computer network, and quickly discovered and became a fan of a character called the BOFH. So, when IRCing for the first time, I decided to adopt the nickname "mbfh" (Mad Biologist From Hell). Three years (and third class honours) later (I told you I spent too long on the computers!), Aber were daft enough to let me back in to do MSc Computer Science. So mbfh became mittfh - Mad IT Trainee From Hell. The initials have stuck, although the second T has evolved from Trainee to Techie/Technician (school IT network technician/dogsbody) to Teacher and very soon back to Technie/Technician (corporate remote support engineer).
Mittfh,
Thanks for that, a careering career path, eh?
I wonder how many of us end up doing what we started out learning to do. I certainly haven't (though I've yet to 'end up') ;-)
xx
ed
I wonder if I ought to offer Appy anything for her big shift.....
hmmm.
er, well.
um.
Nope, nothing springs to mind so far!
nikki
mittfh...
re The Register and BOFH......who is your PFY?
nikki..
re messing about in boats.
Captain Pugwash and Seaman Staines are standing by awaiting your orders...
Good afternoon Froggers, I've had a mare of a day so far. Badly in need of some Beach style relaxation and refreshments.
Mittfh: Many Happy Returns of the Day. You share your Birthday with one of my work colleagues, who has taken the day off, I hope you do the same.
Can I add a couple of requests to the beer list: Shepherd Neame Early Bird, Young's Winter Warmer, anything by Batemans or the Cambridge Brewery, oh yes, and some Charles Wells Bombardier please. That should last me a couple of hours...
DI Wyman: Are you still wearing those speedos?
Are there any bacon sarnies left? Oh good, there are ymmmnnnfff, mmmmnnfffhh, yeah...
mittfh - I remember 30 - just about! Happy Birthday. Don't ask me why but I've always thought of you as "Man In The Tall Felt Hat". I've obviously had too much sun - I'm away for a lie-down in the shade.
AUNT DAHLIA - WHERE ARE YOU?
5 - Day..home made fruit salad at NC's tuck in.
Apple, Pineapple, Bannana, Strawbs (English) and Owari Satsuma. Also big big tub of chilled low fat organic natural yoghurt if anyone needs a topping....so sorry totally out of chocolate. Ate it all in the we small hours after several pints of Sheep Sha**er last evening.
miffth, Happy Birthday. You youngster!. Do we all get party bags?
DI Wyman, What are Master Bates and Roger the cabin boy doing in that dinghy?.. Not being moderated I hope.
I'm duty cook in our house tonight so going for one of my favourites:-
成人快手 made fish pie:-
Get lge piece Salmon (no not Alex, or smoked), lge piece of Hake, fresh Prawns, mushrooms, fresh Parsley, good quality late crop potatoes, a piece of real mature Cheddar, a tin of Sweet Corn and do this:-
Cook fish, steam, poach; bake...makes no odds just down to personal pref.
Wash prawns.
Wash and slice (DO NOT PEEL THEM) m'rooms.
peel spuds (should really be Desir茅e or King Edward for best results), boil spuds until softish then mash with milk, butter and a few twists of fresh ground black pepper.
Grate the cheese
Chop that Parsley
V gently fry m'rooms for 1 min max.
Take cook fish and flake into quite largish pieces and add prawns.
Make a basic white sauce and stir in the m'rooms, parsley, some of the sweet corn and some of the cheese, let it stand for a few minutes.
layer the fish flakes / prawns in a deep pie dish, pour over the sauce so that they are just covered, spoon the mash on top and then sprinkle grated cheese on top of that, place in an oven at 160 for 20 mins and then under a grill for 5 mins.
Serve with remainder of sweet corn, peas and leaks topped off with the sauce left over.......delicous..well I think so!!
hi Stew M..
no i think we are OK with them, at the mo' they are checking for crabs.
Witchi, Gillian et al : I'm officially off at 4.15pm, to pick up another organiser and some more kit while S.O. and guitar player put up bass player's tent (guitar player having lost his) at the pub.
Before then I have to :
- obtain cash
- buy and deploy cat litter
- put more juice in car
- pack car
- drop off keys with cat-sitter next door
- remember to take in washing from line
It's nearly 2 o'clock now. Think there's any chance of managing all this?
Natch! Ah'm a wumman!!!!
Computer is downstairs following a meeting this morning about a website I'm helping to develop, so I may be more able to drop by here before then, than I thought.
Happy barf day Mittfh ... three-oh is a brilliant one, and well worth celebrating. (Four-oh is even better, and you still have ten years left to practise for it.)
Right... off to hunt down wood-based cat litter, now that M*rri$*n$ have stopped selling the stuff.
Fifi xxx
Ps Blackie aficionados will be intrigued to hear that the next-door neighbour (not the cat-sitter, other side) has just moved his fiance's black cat 'Lucy' into the house next door. She's run away already, but I'm sure she'll be back when she's hungry. Can't wait to see her!
Wonko @ 26
Hi me ol' mucker...no, not now they were hurting my ears.
BTW I was rather looking forward to being a 'slave'. Pictures of leather and stilettos kept popping up....v v Freudian!
It was Tom the Cabin Boy actually, though I never understood why they didn't call him Roger. Quality programme.
Ah, starting to relax now. Long story short, due to a series of misadventures this morning I've having to fit a day's work into half a day. So far it's going okay.
I've brought some warm bread rolls, unsalted jersey butter and homemade bramble jelly. And some vanilla icecream with wild strawberry liqueur drizzled over it. And chocolate sprinkles on the side for those who wish them.
And I'm putting my knotted handkerchief on and going for a paddle.
;o) []
Fiona - saw you on the other thread but thought I'd ask here: how did the hair turn out? Was it an exciting new thing? or a tried and tested?
Yea....Wonko... right on bro....Stuart yo' Muppet, don' yo' no nufin' my man.
Sorry.... got carried away a bit then.
Listening to some ol' LP's...Bob M and Osi B!!!
Remember them??
Roger the Cabin Buoy....sorry....just do not see the connection there.....no, sorry really don't....must be these spectacles....
Good wishes to all weekend travellers: even if not going as far as Cannes! I know whitby will be welcoming...
I am staying right here on the beach!! - there's a world out there, but here, its just froggers and frogolity!
Mittfh, or Mitt(and frogger)fh,
happy birthday! I'm looking forward to my th*rtieth birthday, again....!
n-n
xx
DI Wyman: Leather and stillettos? Overshare!
Fifi: best of luck with the mad dash to get everything sorted, have a great weekend.
;o) []
Fifi - can still get the woodbased stuff in my M*** (can't be bothered to count); shall I ship some up there?
Closing down computer now. Final packing of stuff into car ... and then off!
All sorted. Phew.
Fifi xxxx
Rightee-ho, here's the promised birthday cake. Chocolate, of course - in the shape of a computer monitor. Choccie buttons for the keyboard, and ''Happy Birthday mittfh'' iced on the screen.
To celebrate, I propose a dance on the Beach tonight - the Can can, followed by the Macarena, in mittfh's honour. He knows all the moves. Any one else interested?
Oh, and Fifi, I have just noticed on the "What else do you need to pack?" thing that you forgot to include pens. So that you will be able to sign autographs for all of . . . your . . . adoring . . . fans.
I guess that it is too late, now. I hope that they will not be too disappointed. :-(
H.
Mittfh - Happy Birthday! 3o is ace - I had two parties for mine - suggest you have at least that many :-)
成人快手 made artichoke soup on the bar, for anyone who needs a bit of stomach-lining before Friday night drinks... don't have too much, though, you know what it can do....
RJD, you there? I need poking back to my usual self. There's a massage in it for you xx
Yea....Wonko... right on bro....Stuart yo' Muppet, don' yo' no nufin' my man.
Sorry.... got carried away a bit then.
Listening to some ol' LP's...Bob M and Osi B!!!
Remember them??
Roger the Cabin Buoy....sorry....just do not see the connection there.....no, sorry really don't....must be these spectacles....
Can do the can can Gillian, and am up for a dance tonight!
Macaroons surely can't possibly be related to the macarena? Can they?
Can anyone do the dodo? or is it a no-no?!
nikki noodle
Quick flit in from May to say goodbye for the weekend - don't think I'll have time to frog but will fit in a quick macarena in honour of you all xxx
AnnaR - don't overdo things now
Gillian - fabulous work!
Hope it's a good one Fifi
Happy big 30 to the Mad IT Trainee From Hell
Hi Witchi - Nope tried and tested I'm afraid - my regular lot blondish highlights to cover up the more-present-by -day grey! Thanks for asking though x
D I Wyman - I LOVE fish pie, and funny enough have got nothing in for tea tonight - can I come to you house....pretty please?
Happy birhday mittfh (you know I remembered all that by doing the man in the tall felt hat!!)
RJD: Man in the Tall Felt Hat - Wasn't that Dr. Seuss?
\o/
() () o
/\ /\ ,__()__,
I'm limbering up, ready for the dance.
Will this appear correctly, or am I being too optimistic?
Big Sis - I honestly haven't a clue where I got it from or if I made it up! Might be Dr Seuss, but a google doesn't find it.
Well you know what they say about sticking your neck out.....after getting my head chopped off, I won't be experimenting again!!!!!!
Whew! Just home. It's been quite a week and I'm glad to see the back of most of it.
But I've just been to see the Monet exhib with my darling Mum, which was a treat.
Gillian - very impressive limbering up, there! Better have a lie down in this hammock!
n-n: I think doing a do-do has been outlawed in most states now.
RJD, are you feeling yourself?
Anna (54) - Now that's better! A good indirect double entendre I enjoy. Actually I'm feeling A1.
Fiona..plenty left over, I have left some at NC's, please let me have the tea towel thats keeping it warm back though. Got it in Milton Keynes whilst on last years hols....
Anna R....luv the soup...but whats this?............fa....fa...........faa...........faarrrrrrrrrppptttt.....sorry must dash.....
Most impressive Gillian! and is that you 'doing the splits' on the right?!
Hi Frances O! Did it leave a good Impression?!!! Gillian has suggested a cancan and then a macrame (or something, havent got it right yet)...
Anna R - you've hyphened where none was before...! or in the middle, if you see what i mean:-)
And RJD and Big Sis are you still on the train to whitby quaffing quadriplemulti lattes or somesuch, as well as getting into trouble with digital connections (of some sort or other...)?!! Or will you have a go at Gillian's Micarooney (still can't get it)
ooooooooooooh macaroni!
[nope, not quite got the hang of it yet, I'll stick a feather in my cap and call it eh Macarena!]
n-n
xx
I'm here RJD - ta for asking. Currently on several deadlines, I suppose I should be used to the whooshing sounds as they whip past. Was Spain all you expected? and where's the poyums? I'll start you off
As I walked out one springtime day.......
Waddya mean it's already been done - not with the RJD touch, is ValP around?
Good luck Appy - I hope your hips hold up.....
Anna R....luv the soup...but whats this?............fa....fa...........faa...........faarrrrrrrrrppptttt.....sorry must dash.....
As an occasional visitor here, hello again.
I heard there was news of a barbeque this evening. *rolls up sleeves* oh well *strikes match*, let's get it started. Also this oven attachment for the fish pie, which sounds great.
Meanwhile, some bottles of Rioja on the bar for others... now where are the marinated lamb chops?
I just can't resist Rioja...!
What's all this about Dr Seuss?
Surely it's Roger Hargreves - and it's probly MR-man-in-the-tall-felt-hat to the likes of me...
hey ho...the things I thought I once had to know and now don't know if I knowd them or not...
n-n
Blimey, DIY, sorry - you really got it bad.
n-n: I know, I don't know where that stray hyphen came from. Either way the RSPCA have turned up to investigate allegations of dodo-doing. I tried to placate them by inviting them to anth's BBQ but apparently they take a dim view of cooking animals too....
Aunt Dahlia - Thank you, you have brightened up the weekend without doubt!.
Spain was great. I don't know it very well but I think with a bit of practice me and Mrs RJD could get to like the place. We were mostly in Grazalema and the surrounds and I think I will go back. Beautiful plants and flowers, Griffon Vultures and more Choughs in a day that I have seen in a lifetime Thanks to Ryanair and a total expense of 拢0.08p inclusive of taxes we will be back there later in the year.
Poyum eh? OK. I assume we are speaking of Poyum Tennis here!
As I walked out one springtime day
As the buds and flowers whisperered may
We show our splendour now...?..
Your rally!
What a fabulous sunset. It's given the beach a gorgeous rosy hue. Mmmmm, the barbie's on, the booze is flowing, all the frillies are gently billowing in the off-shore breeze.
Now then people, the weekend starts here.......A nice straight line, arms around each others' waists, left foot forward....cue music.....
DA DA dadadada DA DA dadadada DA DA dadadada DADADADADADADADA........
Yes I thought it was Tom the cabin boy but that would not have been a double entendre. I have had this argument before with folk.
The way to find out is to watch it again. The National Media Museum has a TV heaven area where you can watch classic episodes of all sorts of things. I'm sure captain pugwash is an option. I know the Clangers are and the Original Andy Pandy which is dead boring compared to the re makes.
Off to taste the Bishops Finger now.
C'mon - my reply was an hour ago!
hmm, can't resist a Rioja! Thanks, anth, I'll just pour a glass...
Right! The cancan's going with a swing - oooh watch out!!!
n-n
xx
Either this Rioja's beginning to take full effect, or the frog's getting stuck...
...PUSH!!
Would you believe it! The first time I ever get a comment read out on air and its credited to a "woman who didn't want to be named"!!! It was about the head who was spying on parents. And to make matters worse I have only just checked my home e-mail, which my blog name is registered to, and there is only an email to me from Marc asking me to contact the programme as soon as possible.....AND I MISSED IT! Mind you it was probably only to check to see if they could use my name, I will never know now.
Speaking of comments being read out I did chuckle when I heard yours, D I Wyman - or should I say Di (read by a lovely lady) - how does it feel to have a sex change? By the way the fish pie was lovely ta very much. I had a wash load to do so I chucked in your tea towel, should be dry in no time in this lovely sea breeze.
Right I'll just help myself to a glass of Rioja and settle down in this hammock contemplating my lost moment of fame.... night all x
It seems everyone's had their fill this evening, but if not, a few additions in the "hostess trolley" that's mysteriously appeared, which will keep things warm (without salmonella risk).
I'm off to that hammock over there, could do with a good night's sleep after the week in May I've just had. Memo to self; don't start on the gin...
As I walked out one springtime day
As the buds and flowers whisperered may
We show our splendour now
With breaking heart behind the dune
The lonely camel sang it's tune
In voice all sad and low
Boy, was it a long walk back from Whitby.
But, RJD, if you look to the right you'll see I've been on PM as well today. What a score! On Eddie's laptop, on Michael Palin, on standby, and finally on tonight's programme. It almost makes the walk worthwhile.
A hammock beckons.
Hahahahah! Thanks for all the good wishes for my forthcoming "big shift" (was "hips" the polite way of putting it Aunt D?) and thanks for the explanation Mittfh. Hope the celebrations are still going on.
RJD, re more Choughs in a day that I have seen in a lifetime, please tell me a "Chough" is a bird? Or are the Spanish just a bit exhibitionist?...
Big Sis - again 10/10
Ap - I wish life was more exciting but No - a Chough is but a bird. I hope to see a few as I walk alomg the Giants Causeway over the weekend. GG.
Show me the way ta go home....
I'm tired and I wanna go to bed....
I had a likkle dwink about an hower ago
An it's gawn right to my 'ead...
Despite which, prescribed opiate pain relief and tem___pam (other prescribed class A drugs are available) failed to do the biz so far. Bit too woozy to do the macaroni, but maybe I could just finish off Fiona's bottle of rioja - she doesn't seem to have any further need for it tonight.
Since I'm here on me'tod, I might as well do the wahing & drying & clearing up, and lay the table for breakfast. I'll put some porridge oats on to soak in milk; first one up tomorrow: just warm them through and they'll be perfect.
Could someone wake me at 8?
Nt nt xx
翱濒茅
xx
ed
Re : anth
Hope you didn't leave a marker on that bottle of Gin.
Just thought I'd be honest and own up -- as Fifi is away you understand.
Would and could normally blame it on her - creeping around after the left overs.
Well night all
翱濒茅
Hic
xx
Lordy..... lordy, what a cracking morning.....coffee and wimberry muffins on the bar, help yourselves I'm off for a jog and a swim..
....thats strange...I have just passed two Humpbacked whales going the other way...
DI W (80) When you say Humpbacked whales, are you sure that they were not camels with snorkels. Some of those creatures have been studying us for a while now, learning our habits, seeing how Froggers enjoy themselves. They drink our bottles of Shiraz (it wasn't Fifi, after all), they lie in our hammocks (that is why many of them are now buried in the sand). If this carries on, it might become necessary to pebble the beach for a couple of weeks to remove the increasing threat that they are beginning to pose.
H.
(falls out of hammock)
Porridge anyone?
Hmm, I'm sure I made a comment here late last night, but it seems to have disappeared into the electronic ether...
Nikki: You want macaroni dancing the macarena - you got it! Just google "Hey, Macaroni!" and you'll discover the screensaver...
Anyway, just risen from the hammock - after two glasses of wine, one of port, chicken in white wine sauce (with carrots, swedes, parsnips and mash), strawberries and cream, fruit salad and a chocolate gateau (fitted with three self-relighting candles, just to annoy me), I was ready for a snooze!
Just thought: have you all picked up your goodie bags from post 21 yet? Opened them?
And before you ask, I'm not quite inebriated enough to warrant digging out the antacids, although a coffee wouldn't go amiss...
mittfh..
re goodie bags...Bill Oddie was in mine, said he was looking for the Lesser Spoted Cameron...a likely story I thought, then he started strummimg Stairway to Heaven. I beat a hastry retreat and left him to it...
..I just done a brew of freshly ground Columbian...help yourself, sorry I forgot the Demerara..
Mittfh (81) I tried to send you a thank you note last night but there was a bloggage.
Yes, I opened mine. I'm surprised you had to ask......I was sure you'd noticed I was wearing it, as it flashed every time I did the Macarena turn.
Fiona...well done on being broadcast to the nation. Don't worry, those of us in the know recognised the words and the sentiment, and gave a knowing wink.
Big Sis.....so you're the anonymous caller then! How exciting.......a real voice to go with your name! Here, have a chocolate eclair to celebrate!
Good morning Ladies & Gentlemen....
DI Wy...thanks for the coffee and wimberry muffins. What is a Wimberry?
..got to go...on the AMS (Amsterdam) run today with Captain Grumpy and Roger the co-pilot..
Humph @ 81
I may be a simple soul but I do know my Camelus dromedarius from my Megaptera novaeangliae.....last time I looked Camels didn't have fins!
..I'm off for some quality towel time, catch u later....
DI Wyman (89)
They do if they're wearing flippers......
Can I share your suntan lotion please?
xx
Hi Anna R..
..good point well made, I may have been mistaken after all.
re Suntan lotion..certainley..but it is home made:--
....going to check for camels with flippers....back in a mo...
Oh, I notice a case of Rioja has been washed up on the shore. I'll crack open a bottle and leave it to breathe here in the bar. I'm brining salmon fillets that have been marinading all day for the BBQ later...
*must - go - in - side - and - cool - down*
phew, the beach is scorchio today!! and i think there is still some sort of blockage... may be the camels...
n-n
xx
....flip..flop..flip..flop..flip..flop..flip flop..flop..flop..flop..flop..flop..floppity..flop.........gasp..hopped the last bit..
....you will never believe this...but Anna R @ 90 was right...they are Camels with flippers and snorkels....
...has anyone else had a 'Goodie' yet, or is it just me..rumours abound that GG and TBT may be lurking somewhere near by.....
nikki @ 93..
re blockage, there certainley is..several of mine haven't got through, and no i didn't get stuffed into room 502....
....whats going on...the public has a right to know....
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......thud, crickey that's a big step..
Goody Goody Yum Yum.
Off to Al's for curry stuff for tea. What do you all fancy?
I'm getting some samosa and Bhaji's with pickles and popadoms for starters and will take advice on the mains.
Als The Al Halal Supermarket.
Stewart M (96) Biryani please, Stewart, with raita. Thanks for the offer. I'll provide enough Cobra for all takers.
Fearless - good evening - the salmon sounds delish; I bought some scrummy bits from the best deli in May earlier today - they'll make great nibbles while the bbq's getting going. The smoked Ribblesdale ewes' cheese is especially good.
No, I think that should be Ribblesdale smoked ewes' cheese.
No, Ribblesdale ewes' smoked cheese
Oh what the heck. Just didn't want to upset Cammelia - she'd probably frown on smoking sheep.
stewart m...sorry dearheart.. i could kill for a lamb madras but have been instructed to take SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED.....to:-
still at laest they have Grolsch and Bud....seeze u all later........
The view from , just part of our continuing service ;-)
xx
ed
Should I put out more bins??!!
I think I'm just going to go for a stroll....
...i may be a little while!!!
nikki noodle
I've got hiccups / hiccoughs
hic
h-hic
hic
ouch
hmic
Oh. Missed the birthday party.
Is it too late to open a bottle of your choice, mittfh?
Anna:
BOO!
Have they gone yet?
No?
Glug down a glass of water - that usually does the trick!
Bottle of water, then, Mit?
Am I allowed to ask about your name? It's just difficult to remember (bear of not a very great brain)
Aunnt D - 52 - Yup, I'm around for the first time since last weekend. Wheee, what a week, work to get out of the way before rellytivs arrival.
Making the fatal mistake of trying to catch up on the week from the latest thread working backwards.....feel so lost, help. Think I'll just take this bottle of pinot g over to the comfy hammock - the stars are bright tonight, and the moon is new. Remember not to look at it through glass, that's unlucky. Unfortunate for spectacle wearers, no?
morning all...feeling a bit fragile today....way too many fries / Groslch & Bud!!
...car overheated on the way home so have to fix that this morning.....would rather just curl up with my towel though. catch u all later......watch out for the step...
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.....thud.....drat
.....Groslch....LOL...had way too much last evening....ooohhh my head...has anyone seen it...
.....MIND THE STEP...
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.....thud ..........bu**er....(rhymes with rugger)...I am going to forsake my towel for a hammock....may be sometime....need to get m
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Yay!! My strapline day!!
n-n
xx
...the hairy bear has been and gone..
...crept in, cra**ed and crept out again....
.....while he was here..he took all my money..threw all my clothes about the bedroom...did something in my mouth..and then ruggered off..if anyone sees him..tell him thankyou for teaching me a lesson...!!
Apologies to those who have seen these before.
Alternate meanings for various words:
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.
Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.
Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.
Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
yo..RJD..
..wot u doin my man..thems all me to a T.......
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MIND THe..sod it...
Oh.the joy of the English language....
The 成人快手 is not responsible for the incontent of eternal internet sites
About the ABC | Yelp | Terms of Abuse | Privy & Cookies Police
v childish I know...but wot the heck...its Sunday and no one is looking?
..MIND THE Ste.
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If you have trouble remembering / pronouncing mittfh, try my real name: Ben.
If you can associate a mental link between the two, along the lines of "spelled mittfh pronounced Ben" you're doing well...although given the inebriated state of some beach residents today, that's easier said than done...
RJD (111)
tee hee !! that made me smile!
A couple more?! -
Waspish (adj) - rather like a wasp
Wathp (n) - a wasp with a lisp
n-n
xx
That is an excellent strapline n-n. The handle is what separates a door from being a bit of wall. The letter box is the eye to the outside world and I am a real fan of big brass knockers. Re jonnie (9) on the 鈥淪tand by鈥 thread - when you say of Appy that she
鈥漚lways sees the good in people鈥
I am not convinced. If this comment does not get any censure from her then I will apologise for maligning her character. I doubt that you will need to hold your breath for too long.
H.
Hi Froggers
Race for Life done... great fun and fantastic atmosphere, along with stunning views over the Clifton Gorge... can't wait to do it again next year! Didn't take too long either so quite pleased.
Hope everyone's ok? Not been around much for a few days... I've tried to catch up but it's no use, you lot are all frogging so much that there's too much to read :O(
DIY - you are clearly barking... I love it... keep it up! Happy Hangover.
RJD - V funny... another one to print off for the office wall to cheer me up when unable to get to the beach :O)
xx
Anyone fancy a quick game of water polo? Quick, before the camels start snorkeling again.
By the way, what ste
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Oh. I see. Ouch.
C the P....well done..SHE WHO MUST BE OBEYED...took part a few weeks ago and had mucho fun as well......well done again.
is Ben short for mittfh?
or Bendoon & Phil McAvity...
.....the public has a right to know...
...I am slowly coming round, pity all u peeps that have to wrk 2morrow, I don't i'm on a long weekend......
RJD (111) hahaha! Can I add one?
Wisteria: Laughing til you wet yourself
Belinda - where and how are you?
Anna - have your hiccups gone yet?
DIY - you're completely bonkers. Carry on!
Val P - same here, completely lost! I did try commenting on one of tha train threads this morning but it's not appeared. Maybe I'll have more luck here. Can I draw up a nextdoor hammock and share some PG?
anth - if mittfh is the mad IT techie from hell, what are you?
Aunt D: Better that sitting on a liveline?!
Anna R..I'm up for it..got me speedos on........................me head!!!
big prob though...Neddy can't swim....
Gossip M.......no i'm not..it's the cut of these trousers....
...Anna R...Neddy says he will play if he can have water wings......( yewl never guess where this ones going)...
..MTS...
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Oh...... they have put a stair lift in....good ol' Aunty Bee B..bless
DIWyman, (averts eyes), here's an arm band to keep your Neddy afloat...
GM - do you want to join my team & make it girls v boys? Hiccups gone, thankfully. Can't imagine what brought them on.
By the way, who finished my bottle of shiraz last night? Not that I mind, it's just I could only find one dirty glass this morning.
Chris - good for you - you've definitely earned the comfy hammock for the evening.
xx
Anna - I was about o say yes anyway but couldn't see what we were playing, but I can see it's water polo! OK I'm on.... so long as those camels are banned....
BTW if anyone's at a really really loose end at 09.45 tomorrow morning, I'm leaving the beach for 15mins to sing in the morning service on R4 LW. I always imagine there's usually only about 1 person listening... probably an old lady on a remote island somewhere with a cat on her lap....
Okay, how about a game of Frogger鈥檚 Beach Cheddar Gorge a-la ISIHAC? Anyone who has noticed any new definitions of words that they would like to share, please leave them here. They do not need any direct relationship to the Frog, or the Beach, but for any that do I will be awarding points and points mean the measure of drinks in Irish pubs. What do points mean? . . . .
Camel 鈥 A general invitation to visit the Beach.
H.
GM (123) Keep those vocal chords well-lubricated - here's a Whisky Mac - if you don't like the taste, just gargle with it ;o)
Oh, hang on...before you do, let's have a toast. Here's to Chris the Pickle for running today, to NN for another great strapline, and to Belinda, her Mum, and Deepthought John W who are not feeling well just now.
* Clink!* * Clink!* Cheers!
Gossip M...i'll tune in, not working tomorrow....what hymn? i'll join in on the chorus!!
got to go now...needed else where..now you all behave yourselves......I have left a bottle of Glenfid...at NC's...have a night cap for me...
Gurr....rrrrrrr........rrrrrrr.......rrrrrrrr.........rrrrrr ooh Gillian that's better! I think I might have turned into a bass though.....
Yes absolutely congrats to Chris the Pickle!! Sorry, I must have missed your comment when I scanned through before. Fantastic! Have you have a lreaxing bath for those tired aching muscles, with a glass of bubbly?
Big Froggy thank-yous to all Froggers kind enough to say lovely things about the R for L...
DIY - well done to SWMBO for her efforts too!
I'll take up the kind offer form AnnaR for the comfy hammock for this evening, better make the most of it!
Some ice-cold sparkly stuff on the bar to return the toast - Cheers!
xx
Belinda
Just wanted to say hello, and hope you're doing OK and things aren't too gruesome for you. I think we're all thinking of you. Come back soon - the girls need you on our waterpolo team.
Anna x
ps 502????
Oh poo... I frogged a message ages ago thanking you luvverly froggers for the kind things you said about R for L, and it's disappeared up the camels' tube!
So thank you again, and I'll gladly accept the offer of the comfy hammock!
*ZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzz*
xx
Humph Are you starting Cheddar Gorge? Which variation?
GM: Re: "Have you have a relaxing bath for those tired aching muscles, with a glass of bubbly?" - I've just shown this to Hub so he's disappeared to see if there's any fizz in the stash in the garage!
I'll just go and run the bath... I may be some time... =)
xx
A few more word definitions:
Bustard (n.), a rude bus driver.
Giraffiti: (n.) Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Glibido (n.), All talk and no action.
Ignoranus (n.), A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Inoculatte (n.), To take coffee intravenously.
Intaxication (n.), Euphoria at receiving a tax refund, which lasts until you realise it was your money to start with.
Osteopornosis (n.), A degenerate disease.
Sarchasm (n.), The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the reader who doesn't get it.
Oooh Gossipmistress (124), I shall try to tune in! -- I hope that's OK as I don't live on an island,nor do I have a cat, and I wouldn't say I was old -- although to a 10 year old I probably am...
Humph (115), I haven't seen Jonnie's comment -- but I will have to have a look now! -- but what a lovely thing to say, I'm touched. I guess, as you disagree, you must think I always see the bad in people? Or perhaps just the smut???... ;-)
Dips and crudities for everyone, because that's what I'm in the mood for. Oh and some nice cheeses... Enjoy...
Chris the P - well done indeed for your run today. I am greatly impressed, and hope you are enjoying that champagne. I think you've certainly earnt it.
My favourite quote of today - heard as I was out walking behind a father & his young son (c. 2 yrs old.). After a while I overtook them since they were going quite slowly. Perhaps you should know I was wearing jeans & a plain blue fleece. I heard the boy say loudly & clearly, "It is a man", to which the father replied in that embarassed way that the parents of 2 year olds acquire "It's a woman, that". You have to imagine the northern accent. Sorry, probably not as funny written down, but it made me laugh.
Favourite quote of yesterday, when a flute player & I did 3 concerts in churches in Lincolnshire. An hour or so between each one, 10 miles apart. Same programme each time. As we hurriedly unpacked for the third concert the flautist : "I think I'm living Groundhog Day".
Best quote of the previous evening - another concert, another flautist. We were eating our sandwiches before the concert in a room of a smallish stately home. No-one else about. Suddenly through the doorway came a gorgeous fluffy B/W cat. It made a bee-line for Rachel (who is allergic to cats) & proceeded to ingratiate himself for several minutes before disappearing. Just as we were recovering from that, a HUGE brown dog appeared, again - straight for Rachel, who is NOT keen on big dogs. He was equally as ingratiating as the cat, though luckily not for so long. As he vanished out the door, Rachel said "Well what next - a horse?"
RJD - ha ha ha ha, where do you get them sir?
Gossipmrs - yup it doesn't take long to feel cast adrift. Have another glass of pinot g with me this evening and tell me what you've been up to?
C the P - well done that woman!
Belinda - I've been giving frugs to a friend today, but I've saved one for you {{{x}}}
I really hope that I haven't missed out on too much this week, but I don't see how I can catch up with it all at the moment. Roll on some quiet time. Just as well time has its own momentum down here on our Beach, no?
Cheers all xxx
Woweee - just got some fiercely weird new error message that looked like a couple of dozen monkeys had been let loose with a typewriter - the only word I recognised was "template". What's going on now??
Also, while I think of it, why no link to the Blog on the (infrequent) Newsletters this week? I always use that as my point of entry (RJDSTOPIT)
Alternative definitions - so presumably Cheddar Gorge is a variation on Uxbridge English dictionary?
Cheddar Gorge - the act of eating large quantities of cheese in a single sitting.
I can't think of any more offhand, but we've already defined frog, frogger, sequin and bloggage, as well as a new acronym: SB (as in this post SB 134)
And others have 'invented' Internut Exploder, Nutscrape, and Orifice.
A variation I've seen on one forum is the "teleporter", where a new hybrid nickname is created from two existing nicknames, together with an outline (humorous) description of the 'owner' (generally a humorous hybrid between the two originals). I'm not sure if we'd want it here, but feel free to try it in other fora you browse :)
RobbieDog, glad to see your human again, and on top form!
Anna Rex, I started playing water polo but it dissolved.
We could play glass of minty-flavoured water instead. What are the rules?
I guess that I am getting everything wrong at the moment. Yes, mittfh, I did mean a game of Uxbridge Dictionary rather than Cheddar Gorge. And Appy, I hope that you accept my complete and unreserved apologies for thinking any ill of you.
H.
Wave (n): A party organised by Jonathon Woss.
Gosh Humph, you were down on the Beach early this morning - and I see you brought your wit with you?
I've managed to scoot down, but am away again till tonight :o(
A few more word definitions: (sorry they aren鈥檛 getting any better!)
Depot (v.) To abstain from cannabis.
Catkin (n.) Feline relatives.
Chavfinch (n.) Small bird with Burberry cap and large gold rings.
Expert (adj.) Condition of the older bosom
Magnus Opus.....a big oirish cat.....
RJDstopit!! You're making me burst out laughing in the office and I can't explain to them why, coz they're a bunch of has-beens who'd take great delight in grassing me up to the SheWhale.
:O)
Mmmmnnnnpppppfffffffff!
Mmmmmwwwwwoooooooo...
Nnnnnnnpppppffffffffffff!
(YAWN)
Wha'? Oooh I must have slept the entire weekend. Boy, was I tired.
Glad to see everyone had fun over the weekend, sorry I couldn't join you.
A couple of definitions for the Beach's Uxbridge English Dictionary:
Porcupine - a desperate longing for bacon
Millicent - Ten dollars
Pillow slip - slapstick comedy routine involving bedding
Pencil - exterior ledge on a writing implement
Is there any breakfast left? Some tea and toast would be lovely.
;o) []
RJD, those all are splendid. Big giggles. Thank you - you've livened up a slightly dreich (sp?) Monday morning.
So it's Uxbridge Dictionary, then? Oh, bliss...
Good morning - haven't had time to catch up, but here are some homemade falafels and salad with some pitta bread in case I don't make it back in before lunch. Did I miss much?? Everyone ok?
Cr猫che......car accident in Woking....
Chris the Pickle - Hahahaha. "The SheWhale" What an image!
Just for you:
Melodious (n.) The extemely unpleasant Spice Girl
RJD (147) Do you mean that some (any?) of the Spice Girls were pleasant? ;-)
H.
Politician (n): A sixteenth century Italian's painting of a parrot.
Postulate: The reason the letter you wrote hasn't arrived yet
Hello RJD, nice strapline to top off all the definitions.
Helllo Humph, I didn't really get what you were trying to say so couldn't take offence! I think you just enjoy puzzling me every now and then! :-)
Hello everyone, anyone want some of these strawberries and cream? Yum!
Oh don't, I'm in fits here... and that's not easy to do silently.
Okay, here are three for today:
Cistern (n) Big Sister in an unfunny mood
Persistent (n) Canvas edifice for Big Sister
Consistent (n) Person sharing a canvas edifice with Big Sister
Frances O - Thank you. And positively the last of the day: (I have work to do you know!)
Dinette (n.)鈥 very small prolonged and unpleasant noise
Dingy (adj.)鈥 like a ringing sound
Cuticle (v.)鈥 Cause someone to twitch or laugh by lightly touching them with a long tapering wooden rod.
Landlady (v.) Be successful in capturing the heart of a female.
Inverse (adv.) One method of wooing - (see Landlady above)
Invest (adj.) Unsuitable mode of dress - (see Landlady and Inverse above)
Oi. ValP and GM, can I crawl onto your life raft and lie there till I catch up. Go away to do some work and the frog rolls on and gives one a frightful time trying to make sense, till you realise there isn't any.......RJD, you are a constant joy, and Wonko seems to have brought both his wits this morning..
have a lovely day
xx
Aunt Dahlia - I never travel without my wits you know. A few more:
Plasticine - where the drunken party was held
Dry dock - sober physician
Profligate - too many garden entrances
Parachute - means of delivering elite forces rapidly to the laundry room
Content - location of scam run at a camping site
Lunchtime! Fried cheese sandwiches are in order I think, who says you shouldn't eat them?
Aunt Dahlia - That's a bit over the top. But just for you:
Flattery (adj.) - A bit like a flat.
DiW - is that stuff I missed?? In which case people are obviously in need of frugs....if thats what happened to you in May today then you definitely need a frug x
Dentist: Man who fixes damage to your car..
More Uxbridge entries:
River (n) - someone who attends aquatic parties
Burning Bush (n) - a pyromaniac politician
Catsuit (n) - what posh felines wear to dinner
Laptop (n) - 20th century torture device designed to inflict pain on the groin - see
Pole dancing (n) - Magic trick involving scaffolding
World Wide Web (n) - B movie involving giant spiders
e-Mail (n) - envelope impregnated with psychoactive chemicals
iTunes (n) - music cunningly designed to stay in your head all day, courtesy of some advanced mathematics involving the square root of -1.
Seen elsewhere (half-remembered from an ancient edition of The Indy):
Mouse (n) -
(1) A small rodent.
(2) An electronic device attached to a computer.
(3) A small rodent attached to a computer until animal rights activists prize the electrodes off its testicles.
Web Site (n) - sign that the office cleaner needs to be sacked.
hmm, one of mine hasn't appeared, even though I sent it earlier than my Dentist one... Just in case, here it is again:
Carpentry: A way in for ornamental fish
Plus there's also these:
Sheepish: A bit like a sheep
Frogspawn: Blue movies for the French
Hormone : (Actually, maybe I'd better not complete that one!)
Right, that's it, I can't read any more of these now, I'll have to come back tonight when I can giggle away loudly in the comfort of my own den!
=)
Very much enjoyed my lunch, looking forward to tea. A few more entries:
Python - National Grid tower made from snakes
Tea Pot - Illegal substances taken between 3:00 and 4:00pm
Polygraph - chart of a parrot's life signs
Spoonerism - Social, economic and political philosophy involving cutlery
Pitchfork - Unsuccessful early tool used for putting tar on wooden ships; unsuccessful early implement for playing golf; unsuccessful early tool for laying cricket squares.
Monkey - a bit like a friar
Jingoism - Social, economic and political philosophy based on catchy little tunes
Telegraphy - The art of being able to distinguish between limbs on the lower person
And one that I heard Sandi Toksvig give on ISIHAC: Fiasco - unsuccessful wall painting
;o) []
DiW - D'oh, thats what happens for not reading in context.....am going to hide behind the dunes
Very much enjoyed my lunch, looking forward to tea. A few more entries:
Python - National Grid tower made from snakes
Tea Pot - Illegal substances taken between 3:00 and 4:00pm
Polygraph - chart of a parrot's life signs
Spoonerism - Social, economic and political philosophy involving cutlery
Pitchfork - Unsuccessful early tool used for putting tar on wooden ships; unsuccessful early implement for playing golf; unsuccessful early tool for laying cricket squares.
Monkey - a bit like a friar
Jingoism - Social, economic and political philosophy based on catchy little tunes
Telegraphy - The art of being able to distinguish between limbs on the lower person
Prophet - compact and bijou academic
And one that I heard Sandi Toksvig give on ISIHAC: Fiasco - unsuccessful wall painting
;o) []
Wonko (164), Love the "Jingoism" definition -- my favourite of all so far.
Have I missed anything?
Fifi
And finally, finally, most definitely finally:
Mischief (n.) - A female boss
Lobotomy (n.) - Having a saggy bum
Malaria (n.) - Badly performed operatic song
Bison (n.) - Water container in which a Cockney washes his hands.
Norwegian (n.) - Northern Ireland Cocktail (how a drunk requests 鈥渁nother little gin鈥)
Apertif: Glad you liked that one, I'm rather proud it.
Also finally:
Pupil - medication for church seating
Post It Note - message left to self to remind you about sending a letter
Bed-side manner - the way in which a person has been murdered in their bed
Snide: malicious use of children's playground equipment
Fulcrum: a whole crum
Flimsy - poorly made ocean
Portcullis - reducing the number of seaside harbour towns
Pimms O'Clock everyone!
;o) []
As an aside from Uxbridge, may we erect a throne for Big Sis, for her to sit on whilst enjoying the fame (or is that infamy?) of having 'her' very own thread (albeit one in which she's the unwitting pawn in our relentless mocking of the "Recent Comments" feature of the frog).
-oOo-
In case you haven't guessed, I'm responsible for the everybody's / nobody's / new PM slot / "Queen of the Frog" entries. The later ones I've signed cryptically as zvggsu (), in case you were wondering where that strange designation came from...
WW.....
..get a grip, girl....get a grip!!
Sorry, I can't resist this one:
Varifocal (n.) - An instruction to leave things just as they are.
mittfh....nice cipher....
..but just who IS your PFY???
mittfh....nice cipher....
..but just who IS your PFY???
mittfh....nice cipher....
..but just who IS your PFY???
Re Fifi (168) More to the point, did you forget anything (see comment 42)? On the beach, a number of people are having a game of Uxbridge Dictionary (a la ISIHAC) providing new definitions for comman words. In the real Frog, a number of people are having fun with the Recent Comments facility to find out what they can get "on Big Sis".
How was your weekend? Did the festival go okay?
H.
Rubicon (pol): A Tory going for the Labour Vote. "Vote blue, go red!"
Re Fifi (168) More to the point, did you forget anything (see comment 42)? On the beach, a number of people are having a game of Uxbridge Dictionary (a la ISIHAC) providing new definitions for comman words. In the real Frog, a number of people are having fun with the Recent Comments facility to find out what they can get "on Big Sis".
How was your weekend? Did the festival go okay?
H.
Rubicon (pol): A Tory going for the Labour Vote. "Vote blue, go red!"
good news all..
..no need to have planning permission for the conservatory to go on the back of NC's bar!!
.....i will also be putting up a nuclear p.station, adding two more runways to Beach Intl. Airport and erecting 66 wind turbines just off shore.......hope u don't mind.....
Final one for the evening:
Dichotomy: Removal of an unwanted Welshman
Erm... FFred... There's no such thing as an unwanted Welshman. I should know, I'm a Welsh woman!
Now get down on your knees and say "Sorry I insulted the Wonder that is Welshness, O Wondrous Welsh Woman"... go on! Or go and sit on the Naughty Step.
*Stands glaring at FFred, scowling menacingly, arms folded like some old crone from up the Valleys*
That's better. Now, don't say anything as naughty as that again, d'you hear?
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I know what you're saying... that you didn't mean to insult the Welsh, and why are they so sensitive anyway...
Ok then, I'll say no more about this. This time.
Pah.
RJD - I like the varifocal... titter! Hush now.
Fifi @ 168.
Re: Have I missed anything?
nope, been quiet all weekend here, not a dicky bird...bedlham in Bournmouth though!!
..trust u left the castle standing & have u picked up on the idea of a big PM bash dearheart?
Mrs DIY would like to say so sorry for the small conflagration that took place earlier today aboard the PM's yacht whilst in dry dock (the yacht, not Mrs DIY) for the refitting and restocking of Ms Edwina Mayors drinks cabinet.
She left the blow lamp on and pointing at our glorious leader GB the 1st.....sound of massed bands etc....
Hi peeps.....
...stuck in Beijingaloo....frightful tummy upset.
Just caught that awful little man, Adidas, on the world service...is he a real Lord or one of those made up thingys?
Uncle C says ' no way ' I am not having the hoi pol'y stomping around....sorrrrryyyyeee.
.....will try and catch up with you later...must go.....ttfn
Aunt D - 156 - yup, after a disconcerting few glances, I've remembered that all you need to do is hold your nose, jump in and it all comes rushing back to meet you! thank goodness.
Where would I be without you all, the news at Val P Towers this week has been mostly of the unpleasant to downright bad variety. Nasty happenings to others in all truth, but the ripples spread out don't they. I know I don't need to ask, but if anyone's around for a bit of a group hug - tonight would be good :o)
Thanks for all the fun and games on Big Sis, and the Uxbridge Dictionary. Great distractions. I've run out of Pinot G so if you'd like to share this Strawberry & Raspberry Tea you might enjoy it. Reminds me a bit of Spangles. Anyone remember those?
DI Wyman: Give me a chance and I'll respond. Three simultaneous requests is a bit much...
I don't have a PFY...yet. For the majority of my time as a tech I officially had a network manager over me - but since everything to do with user accounts was delegated to me, I was effectively BOFH by proxy.
Meanwhile, I've just realised it's 2:45 - might be a good idea to think about sleep sometime soon...
Am I allowed off the naughty step yet, CtheP? Pretty please???
Just putting my head above the revision dune to wave hello (with my hands not my head!).
Thanks for the Uxbridge, made me laugh out loud - although it was far too distracting yesterday - I think I'm going to have to turn you all off today and come back later in the week.
((())) frugs to Val P - poor you.
Keep up the good work everyone, having fun and have some for me. 2 exams down, 4 to go - I've never known 2 1/2 weeks to go so slowly :o(
CtheP;
You're from Welsh Wales? The big theme park with no jobs at the far end of the M4? How quaint!
Do the locals still dress in those funny stovepipe hats and what-have-you? Do they still eat those strange flattened scones which go by the name of Welsh Cakes?
Wales; Where men are men (and ewes are grateful for it!).
My memories of Wales are somewhat coloured by staggering around the Brecon Beacons and the Black Mountain with a thumping great rucksack in the teeth of strong winds, sleet and snow with a bunch of other Navy chappies for two weeks in December 1986 on a 'Leadership' course. It builds character I'm told. I like mountains and hill-walking more than most. But being made to do it in those conditions was sadism on the part of the course instructors. One of the chaps ended up being helped over the top of Pen-y-Fan in a near-delirious hypothermic state by two others while I carried his rucksack.
It tends to skew your opinions about a place, going through that kind of experience.
Mind you, there is a fabulous boozer in Talybont-on-Usk. The Star, if I remember correctly. Wide selection of real ales and a warm welcome.
Si.
Morning all - will try and keep up today! Croissants and saffron buns on the bar, am off for a swim.
Morning all,
Peewit - lacking in mental faculties
Had to get that one out of my system. Spot of brunch anyone? How about savoury pancakes?
Right, back to May...
;o) []
I will not do this anymore
I WILL NOT do this anymore!
OK, two FINAL definitions:
Rubber (n.) - A thief with a heavy cold.
Gastric (n.) - Farting and successfully blaming someone else.
Saucer - unexpected sighting of your School Teacher
Feeble - Insubstantial thimble
Slumber - Going to sleep in the cheap end of town
Paucity - township of dogs
Handstand - storage unit for false limbs
Lunchtime! Pass the vino...
;o) []
FFred: you can get off...
Si: Get on and stay on for at least a fortnight you naughty boy...
:O(
Val P (186) Missed you earlier. Hope the nasties are disappearing.
But what's this about Spangles? Surely a young slip of a thing like you couldn't possibly remember them. Did your Granny tell you about them?
Jelly: Chinese mouse in search of a Tom
Big Sis - Re the Jelly word
There are two legionnaires in the desert, and they've been separated from their unit and are lost. They've been wandering for several days without food and water, and are nearly resigned to the fact that they will soon die from dehydration, when as they reach the top of a sand dune, they see a big, bustling market laid out before them.
Naturally, they can't believe their eyes and think it's a mirage, but as they draw closer, they can hear the stallholders' cries, and they eventually reach the market and realise that it's really there.
So the legionnaires rush up to the first stall they can and cry to the stallholder, "Stallholder, we have been travelling in the desert for many days, and have had no food or water. We shall surely die soon unless you have some you can sell us - tell us, do you have any sustenance for us?"
The stallholder shook his head and replied "I'm sorry, French legionnaire type people, but all I have to sell is a load of bowls full of jelly, topped with custard and cream, and lovingly sprinkled with hundreds and thousands."
The legionnaires look at each other, mildly surprised, and move on to the next stall, where they ask the stallholder, "Mr purveyor of fine foodstuffs and the like, we have been travelling through the desert for days, deprived of the necessary beverages and foodstuffs which are required for survival. We shall surely die soon, unless you can sell us some skins of water."
The stallholder looked at them embarrassed, and confessed "Gentlemen, tragic as I admit it is, I have none of the ingredients necessary to life for which you ask me... all I have to sell is this large bowl of jelly topped with custard and cream and sprinkled with hundreds and thousands, with a little cocktail cherry in the middle at the top - there," he said, pointing out the glace cherry. "I cannot help you..."
The legionnaires look at each other in desperation, and run on to the next stall, where they demand of the stallholder, "Look mate, we need water or we'll die. We've been travelling without water for days and need some now, Do you have any you can sell us?"
The stallholder looked at his curl-ended shoes in shame as he confessed, "Sorry, fellas, all I have to sell you is a bowl of jelly, with custard, cream and hundreds and thousands. I can't help you. I'll have to condemn you to a long and lingering death through dehydration."
The legionnaires were really worried by this point, and they went through the market, stall by stall, asking each stallholder whether they had any water they could sell them, and thus save their lives, but each stallholder gave the same reply, all they had to sell was a bowl of jelly with cream, custard and hundreds and thousands.
Dejected and resigned to their grim fate, the legionnaires left the desert market and walked off into the setting sun. As they did so, one turned to the other, and said, "That was really odd - a big market in the middle of nowhere, and all they sold was bowls of jelly with custard, cream and hundreds and thousands." The other turned to face his companion and replied, "Yes, it was a trifle bazaar..."
Hmm, that joke was a trifle annoying, wasn't it? ;o)
RJD - tee hee... good job I can skim-read or I'd have been there all day!!!
I want some trifle now, you've set my taste-buds in motion - can somebody whip one up quick-smart and leave it in the fridge please?
=)
Thanks, CtheP! You knew I was only kidding, didn't you????
Nice 'un RJD!
Last year Mrs RJD bought me a parrot for my birthday. The parrot was fully grown but had a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an expletive. Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude.
I tried hard to change the bird's behaviour and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything I could think of to try and set a good example... Nothing worked. I yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. I shook the bird and the bird just got angrier and ruder.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, I put the parrot in the freezer. For a few moments I heard the bird squawk and kick and scream - then suddenly, there was silence. Not a sound for half a minute.
I was afraid that I might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out onto my extended arm and said: "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I will endeavour at once to correct my behaviour. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness."
I was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued: "May I ask what the chicken did?"
Humph -
Belvoir was wonderful. I did forget to pack the cold-cuts I'd bought for sarnie-making, and a couple of bricks to raise the barbie off the grass. Everything else went!
Usual disasters too of course.
Performer who simply didn't turn up.
Performer who rang to say sorry he couldn't come, but his son had fallen 8 ft off a balcony and was in Intensive Care. (In Plymouth!)
PA not set up in main venue in time for first band on ... which was MY band.
Sound engineer for same venue on Sunday slept in and missed first act.
New venue proved hard to PA because sound bounced off the massive gilded mirrors creating instant feedback-loop.
A band tried to walk off the main stage 20 minutes early, having not bothered to rehearse enough material to fill 40 mins slot. Having been made to squeeze out an extra 10 minutes, proceeded to complain the PA was rubbish anyway!
DI Wyman -
There have been ugly rumours of a late-summer bash at Jonnie's in Bournemouth, perhaps with cricket, perhaps with music, probably early Sept. Just trying to nail down the band to agree to a date.
ValP -
((((((((((((((( XXXXX )))))))))))))))
Fifi xx
Big Sis: I'm sure RJD will get his just desserts!
I'll get my coat...
;o) []
This message is for the attention of DI Wyman and so although I have no problem with any of you others reading it, please realise that the contents will be boring and totally irrelevant and if you have anything better to do then you should either do it or move on to the next comment in this thread. I just did not want to waste your time unnecessarily.
DIW, I have tried to find a suitable piccie of myself so that you know who to look out for on Friday but the web-pages from work that I was hoping to use do not seem to be accessible. I have placed a picture of myself on my FlickR page and placed restrictions on the viewing of it; we do not want any Frogger to get to see what I look like, now do we? I did a search of FlickR to see if I could find someone of your name there. There is someone with the name 鈥渄i_wyman鈥. If that is you then please either confirm it here or leave a message for me on my picture found by clicking on my name above. I will then make arrangements to let you see a better, or at least more useful for the present purposes, picture of me by listing you as a FlickR friend. Alternatively you could post a picture of yourself on your FlickR site and point me to that and let me do the searching on Friday. A last alternative would be for me to describe what I am wearing Friday am and you asking everyone wearing a cravat at the Blue Boar if they are called Humph.
Sorry for not getting back to you earlier. It has been that sort of day!
H.
Libya (n): Teenage affirmation of 成人快手 Radio 4鈥檚 Midweek presenter.
Oh No RJDear - stick to the Uxbridge's!! (I'd heard that one before anyway).
Thanks to all for your good vibes, I'm pulling myself back together again. Good news for the chap who was having to run along behind me picking up the bits as I dropped them :o)
RJD - re Spangles. Indeed you are a shameless flatterer, and you know it! It was pointed out to me by the TV last night that sugar was still being rationed until after I was born.......
But thanks anyway.
Izzy - that's a lot of exams in a short time. Poor you, I guess if there's any upside, it's that it gets them over and done with sooner???
Humph - well, that all sounds extremely enigmatic. Do tell? You might have known that telling women not to bother reading something would have the opposite effect!
Si...
..two whole weeks on the Beacons.....hope u enjoyed the compo?
....Humph........fall about laughing...wots a crevat..is it some sort of juvenile crevase???
Aperitif.....two dentures?
.......LOL........this HAS got to stop...
Humph.....yo again...c u in the Bournmouth place at 19:15 Z....OK....
......jonnie leave the cam's alone, they r fine!!!
Val P.,.@ 207.....nosey parker..me & Humph are meeting up 4 a pint or 8 after Evensong on Friday.....so there!!
....dont't u just luv my cassock....?
PS...don't mention a word...
PPS.....Had a call from Miss De today...something about...... HUGHEEEEEEEEEEEE!....I think she had too much take away!
DI Wyman - how to recognise Humph? As the only frogger who knowingly knows what he looks like, perhaps you and I should have a little chat?
Of course, having been sworn to secrecy (and more importantly forgotten that my mobile phone can take photos) I will have to be very careful what I say.
Nowoddeyemean?
Fifi *winks knowingly*
FFred: It's ok, we Welsh are quite used to being the butt of jokes, even from luvverly folk like you...*sniff*
I'm not sensitive, it's just a nasty rumour!
;o)
Fifi @ 211..
..not a prob, just been to that place in Bournmouth for a chat with him and Gillian...told him I would have mit Speedos on my head...so he should really be able to spot me in the crowd.
..BTW...glad to hear u made it safely back fom Belvoir!!
PS...Miss De' sends hugs and xxxxxx's
Hello all. Good to see the beach in such a healthy state - the blue flag is clearly destined to be ours again.
I've popped by to ask all you regular froggers to put your thinking caps on. No, it's not to ask what Eric Muir might be planning for the 50,000th post, but instead it's to ask your collective brain power to come up with topics that need to be covered in a FAQ ("frequently asked questions") to help new froggers get to grips with this place more quickly.
What hints and tips do you think it'd be good to tell newcomers? I've come up with a list of my own, but thought it was only sensible to ask regular users their thoughts. What did you wish you knew when you first found the PM blog? What great tip would you want a newcomer to know from the off? Send your suggestions to pmblogprince at hot mail dot com - which of course remains the email address to contact me on if you have any blog-related issue you want to bring to my attention.
I remain, as ever, your humble and obedient etc etc.
Well, it's going to take me forever to catch up so I'll just pop these bottles of Retzina(spelling ok?) and some lovely greek salad for you to be going on with. oh! and some lovely honey cakes- we couldnt remember the name and called them 'balaclavas'- (we did have fun in Paxos!...) 'speshly for Belinda,John and Anna R- hope you are all o.k. dip in!
Now, do I start at the back?
How many straplines did I get?What? Why not?
Mollyxx
Frog Prince Marc (214) How about:
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, try , try again?
Ha - Marc (214) -I'd say:
"Stay away! For your health's sake! For the sake of your wife/husband, and starving children! Do not come near! Danger lurks! You will be sucked into a shifting quicksand of frogging from which there is no escape. You will eat your food in front of the computer. Except soon there will be no food, because you won't leave the computer to cook. Your house will gather dust & dirt, your front door will go unanswered, friends will no longer call.
All because of the seductive frog. For pity's sake, leave now, while you still can!"
PS - Marc - is that the sort of thing you had in mind?
Gillian - you forgot the "-but not too quickly or you'll get shouted at & told you are malicious/ abusive" bit of the sentence.
FANTASTIC - I just got the comment submission error report for that one. How wonderfully appropriate is that?
Ooh, and again. Now this is developing into a battle of wits.
And again. The trouble is, I've finished my wine now. Might have to try again tomorrow. Darned if I'll let it beat me!
One thing I've been known to do (not just on the frog but fora in general), is on the rare occasions when I'm saying something deep and meaningful (I told you they were rare!), I copy/paste the contents of the post into Notepad just before submission - just in case...
-oOo-
Running in parallel to the creation of a 'proper' FAQ, a counter-FAQ might be fun to do...
Q: Who is Eric?
A: Subscribe to the newsletter and find out.
Q: What is The Beach?
A: Read the first post. If you're still confused, read the remainder. If you're still confused, sink beers until clarity is obtained. Or go onto the Today messageboards...
Marc-
Q-''how do I subscribe to the newsletter?"
A-"too expensive for you. cheque for $100 payable to me.'' (haven't decided to whom yet and read that as pounds-funny keyboard...)
By the way, can someone telll me what PUSH! means?
I really want to use it like you do but don't fancy the .naughty you- know what..
Anna R- I've seen you use it- come on now!
Mollyxx
Molly,
The PUSH came about as Appy (and EdI as well, I believe) noticed that on occasion, missing posts could be "pushed" through by posting another message. Hence the term pushing. In irder to make life simple (and to avoid lots of silly posts appearing (as if!) Appy started just making her "pushing" posts contain PUSH as the body of the text. Hence the PUSH posts :-)
That should be added to the FAQs. Also, I'd suggest a line saying that if you get an error when trying to post, ALWAYS use the Back button on your web browser to go back, rather than the link in the page. This way, all the text you typed will still be there, saving you the trouble of typing it all in again.
FFred
Molly - No doubt someone will correct me if I'm talking bollards but I'm pretty certain that "PUSH" was first used by Aperitif in the hope that by submitting a further posting on a thread, she could force through earlier comments caught in a bloggage.
For ages I thought that it was just wishful thinking but am convinced now that it sometimes works. I have seen comments that are "days old" appear only when a further contribution is made on a thread.
Molly,
Didn't yo momma ever tell you to "Push!", or for that matter, your obstetrician? Used in the hope of getting the frog to pass a bloggage.
xx
ed
Ugh - will post more when feeling human
Oh, Humph, your fondness for recycling extends to the re-use of your excellent straplines!
I'm so pleased to see this one again, as it sums up the very essence of PM.
Fifi
Witchi - any human in particular you will be feeling? ;-)
Witchi? wassup?
Molly - welcome home. Was Paxos still as lovely as in 1991? (First family holiday - potty training TD so she was going nappyless but decided to relieve herself standing in the middle of the food shop :o()..... Did you go to The Beach on Antipaxos?
Ffred - wise words re the back button, many the post was created in vain in the early days!
I hope Jonnie is recovering fast this morning? His G&T fuelled expoits seem to have pushed us over the 40K - even although they did appear in jumbled order. Ahhh that's the difference between a blog, and the frog, you never know quite what to expect :o)
Humph - another strapline - well done!! Surely you must be catching up with Fifi now? ;)
WW - sorry you're not feeling too good. I've put a huge jug of fresh orange juice on the bar along with some pastries that I've just picked up from a lovely local shop. Help yourself when you're feeling able....
I'm off to give the camels a bit of a groom. They're looking like they need some care and attention.
witchiwoman - Any particular human?
Ah Gossipmistress - you beat me to it!
Thinking of starting a blog. So I can do my holiday diary on line. However sad this may be be. FF uses blogspot dot com. Any other blog sites recommended/ or not
GM - ha ha! At the moment anyone with equipped with good hugging arms! If they happen to be attached to Sean then so much the better!
Marc (215) I've sent you a copy of the intro to blogging I wrote in the early days, and which is up on Jonnie's PM Extra site. Hope it helps.
Struggling to catch up with everyone, was away all day yesterday at a funeral - something about the age band I guess, but with fewer people getting married or christened these days, large get togethers seem to be skewed towards funerals which is a bit depressing. Except of course it's always great to meet up with people you haven't seen for twenty years.
Lovely weather, quiet country churchyard in the midst of rural Suffolk, full of birdsong and wild flowers. Couldn't ask for a nicer place to be buried or a better day for a wake.
Thanks for that you lot- all clear now- silly me!
Nothing cryptic, then..
EdI- posh ladies don't push,dont y'know, these days, apparently. Don't remind me!!
Terrific s-line Humph! Again!
ww-try a 'balaclava'-please!
Mollyxx
Val P.;
Waasssuuuupp!
Watchin' the game, havin' a Bud.
I loved those adverts. Did you all see the 'old ladies' one, the 'Yiddish' one and the 'Star Wars' one?
My personal favourite was the Jewish one where all the 'Wassups' were transformed into 'Shaloms'. Surreal.
Cold buffet being laid out for lunch. Plenty to go around, so no fighting. And huge choice of dishes too. Fruit and herbal teas plus fruit juices to wash it down with.
Si.
Val P(228)
Yes, I have no doubt it is!
Never seeen such clear sea- swam like little frogs till little 'jellies' decided to move in! Lovely, lovely people, buildings, cakes etc etc.
No Antipaxos, THIS time!
Mollyx
Balaclava and orange - thanks all! And feeling a lot better for a few hammock 'moments'!
ValP - no major probs, just family stuff getting to me, but on and up....amazing how The Beach can be such a comfort! (amazing typo - stiff instead of stuff!)
wot no Corned Beef or Haslet..oh sorry Si....didn't see it behind the cold roast Lamb....bless. I have popped a freshly cooked and chilled Turkey on the buffet...Bootiful as Bernie would say..!!
This buffet has reminded me of the late, great Spike Milligan's description of "The Dreaded Cold Collation". Though I should stress that this spread is far superior. Spike's ingredients for the Cold Collation included: limp brown edged lettice, slice of bread curling at the edges and a greasy thumbprint.
I've brought pickled onions, a large pork pie and freshly made strong English mustard. Pass the carrot sticks someone...
;o) []
I'm peeking at the lunch from behind the dunes ... Too early for me, I'm afraid, but I have left a big plate of juicy king sized prawns, just griddled, with sea salt and freshly squeezed lemon juice for your guys.
Enjoy.
Afternoon all, first visit of the week to the beach for me - what's happened! Mind you have actually managed to post on other threads for a change. Am just frantically finishing everything off before I become officially unemployed on 7th June - the first time since 1989 when I went off travelling. How will I cope? The whole long hot summer ahead of me and no work to go to - its going to be just awful ;0)
Big hugs to all, whether you need them or not! Hope your day is getting better Witchi (((x)))
Right I'm off for a refreshing swim before I get stuck into that lovely buffet Si's laid for us..
See y'all later
I was just visited by my accountant, who got a threatening letter from the revenuers, and took the initiative and made out estimated returns (for three years back and the current ones) on his own initiative. Whew!
The Revenue have been remarkably patient with me in allowing me to get so far behind, but they had finally threatened to start charging daily late penalties which would have been 'unrecoverable. As it is, since we ain't made all that much, it looks like we'll get refunds of assessments paid, but probably not enough to pay the well-earned accountant's fees.
I couldn't stop saying "God bless you!" He just turned up unscheduled and shouted. I came down from my perch and was greeted by a wonderful surprise - a load off my mind!
Frugs for all in need or just desirous of one or more! And here's a load of local bacon and sausages. The bacon is good for you, because the pigs get fishmeal from oily menhaden....
Drinks are on me!
虫虫虫虫虫铀♀櫋铀♀櫋铀
ed
Thank you Si for this lovely buffet.... what a treat!
I'm sure Wonko went to Melton Mowbray for that Pork Pie. What a pal!
Please dig into this Sherry trifle if you fancy something sweet to follow.
Exciting times ahead Fiona........and the best time of year for it, too.
Welcome back Molly, and hugs to Witchi. (((*)))
Right, I have had enough of the camels. Honestly, if you don't brush them in just the right way, they get all stroppy. And then they try fluttering their eyelashes at you, the flatterers....
So, having washed my hands and had a quick swim, I'll have some of Si's lovely buffet (thanks Si!). I did put some fresh pineapple and a huge pot of yoghurt in the fridge earlier for anyone who needs something to follow. Personally, I'll be digging into the trifle and then having a sleep on the hammock!
xx
Wow - thanks to all the lunch time contributions; even a veggir choice on the buffet!
Thanks for all the frugs/hugs and stuff too; much better and ready to join the fray! Theres an unhappy chappy on the 'apologies' thread; do you think we should invite him over?
EdI - that is good news! (what do you do that needs so much assessing?)
Hugs to all and pass the prawns xx
WW (246),
The assessments are what they do (along with penalties) if you don't file a return on time, and if you don't get around to getting the books in order for, say, three years or more, there will have been several assessments paid. I don't know what they'd do if you didn't pay the assessments, 'cause I do.
I have to say the lady who's rung me up several times has kept her iron fist well inside her velvet glove:
"I'm under the doctors for clinical depression, you know."
"Yes, you told me that when I rang six months ago, but you'll really have to file your returns."
"I just can't seem to get it done. I seem to be suffering from pathological procrastination."
"Can't you just give the papers to your accountants?"
"I've gotta get them into order first, and I've made a start, but just can't seem to stick to it. We haven't made much, so there'll not be much tax due anyway."
"So you should do it and reclaim your overpayments, and if you don't do it soon, I'll have no choice but to start charging you daily as much as 拢60 per day for each late return, and those penalties aren't returnable...Here's my number. Call me by the end of next week."
And so on....She's only doing her job. And I must say the accountant has earned his fee. It sometimes pays to be old and a bit vague ;-)
Another round? And thanks Si, for the eats.
xx
ed
Well done EdI you sound mighty relieved, and thanks for the bacon - it was delicious xx
EdI - thanks for the explanation! This is all being noted for when the self employed thing starts...16 months and counting!
Oh dear, I need a lie down........I've just had a peculiar experience back in May.
I was in Morrisons, foraging around as usual, looking at energy-saving lightbulbs (99p each!) and this guy came up to me, asking if I knew if they stocked short fuses. Well I don't have a clue, but I said if they did they would be in the same aisle as the light bulbs.
I needed a bag of nightlights, , and there he was again.......would I help him find fork handles? In Morrisons!!!!!! Then I realised I'd mis-heard him because of his strong accent - something rural, like Shropshire, or Norfolk, or somewhere else at the back of beyond - he was actually trying to find four candles. Well I pointed them out to him and headed straight for the checkout.
Lo and behold, there he was at the next till..........baskets only. I took my time, to make sure he left before me, and as he left I noticed he had a tool-belt around his waist - he was carrying a hammer, a paintbrush, a tape measure, some masking tape. It looked as if he'd just been doing some odd jobs around the house.
When I got to my car, there was a slip of paper under the windscreen wiper, with a phone number on it........ THAT man was just driving out of a space 2 cars away, and he winked at me as he drove past!!!!!!
I think I've got a stalker!!!!!!!!! ;o)
witchiwoman - If the "unhappy chappy" on the Apologies thread that you referred to is P.Elliott, then have no worries.
Patricia Elliott is an occasional dissident but always welcome visitor. She has many personae and I suspect origins. At least one regular frogger has been p(P)atricia in the past.
And you thought this place was calming?
Fiona..did your bacon taste okay? Why did mine taste like smoked haddock?
DI Wyman, that 'Aperitif' definition has been done to death! John H (where is he these days?) used to address me as "Dentures" some months back until he got bored and started to use "Drinks" instead...
RJD, I love your Trifle Bazaar. Thanks for cheering my tea break up massively!
:-)
Witchi - there's a queue of rather handsome young fellows over by that palm tree. I overheard something about 'witchi' and 'a good feel' ... anything to do with you?
Now then. I have just had a very unpleasant phone call. After I get back from London tomorrow evening, I'll be having another equally unpleasant phone call from the same person. Leading to a meeting next week ... which will be unpleasant as well.
I think I need a frug!
Fifi :o(((
*phew!*
RJD - ahhhhhh, I see (maybe).
Gillian (250) : The last time I heard a story like that, the upshot was that helpless-man-in-supermarket (asking about cooking-sugar) was a decoy, allowing my friend to have her purse nicked from her handbag!
A wee bit creepy though, that he knew which car was yours....?
Alternatively, rather sweet.......??
Fifi ;o)
witchiwoman - If by any chance you understand what I have said, could you please explain it to me?
Ap - It's the way I steal them!
Fifi (254) Oh dear, that sounds awful. Hope it all turns out okay.
All I can offer is this bottle of Shiraz, a huge frug (((((((*)))))) and a listening ear if you need it. xx
Fifi - {{{{xx}}}}, once more with feeling! I hope that you get the opportunity to be unpleasant right back to them?
Ed I - a self-starting accountant, One in a Million!
nikki-noo - ? where have you been?
I'm home alone tonight and tomorrow, so to save cooking I'm just going to browse about the NC bar and see what's left over from the lunchtime spread, if that's ok.
Gillian, Val et al ... the unpleasantness is to do with village politics and a very rude, aggressive little man.
He dislikes me in particular because he hasn't so far been able to bully me ... but it's not actually personal, because he bullies absolutely everyone!
I have been delegated the job of setting up a meeting between 'my' organisation and 'his' with the idea of building bridges between the two.
His manner is so appalling however that I doubt we'll get past who-sits-where before the fisticuffs start!
If I were less ethical I would secretly record the meeting just so you can hear how nasty he is. Fortunately however I wouldn't do a thing like that.
But I might be persuaded to do impressions, standing on the NC Bar, when I get back from the pub later tonight! (It's bellringing practice night, after which it is traditional for the landlord to ply me with good Italian red....)
* goose-steps back and forth, with small square moustache drawn on top lip in eyebrow pencil *
Thanks for the frugs, folks. So good to be on the receiving end of them!!!
Fifi xx
More Fruggies ((((((((( Fifi ))))))))) - and may The Obnoxious One feel your (and others') wrath, and take a hint!!!
Doubtful though, isn't it? Some folk just haven't the faintest idea how prattish and upsetting they can be, or they choose to be that way regardless.
Chloroform? Gag? Both?
xx
Feefs, give me his name and I'll put it in the knife drawer....... how dare he...
xxx
spangles????? The ones I used to wear, with tassles? you ate them??????
wierd
May is giving me a headache =(
Can any you of spare me a couple of days to do this (oh no here she goes again) coursework? I wouldn't tell on you for helping me, honest I wouldn't. And I'd be very grateful (rjdshutup).
*sob*
*sigh*
I know I shouldn't whinge, and in the great scheme of things, this is a tiny little blot on the landscape so it's ok if you want to tell me to shutup and goaway.
=[
hey c the p I'm with you - 3 exams down and three to go - not a good time at the mo.
Fifi - when I have time (after exams) let me tell you about a friends experience - it may need some time off the frog, but may help if the situation escalates.
off to bed to try to put exam headache (had since 8am - hence poor writing) to bed - nothing else is touching it.
:o(
p.s. hope everyone else is having a good time, sorry to bring mis to the beach
Fifi;
Don't get mad. Get even!
And get your retaliation in first.
Meanwhile here's a hug to be going on with.
((((X))))
And if you pop behind *that* dune you'll find a temporary spa set up, Jacuzzi, Sauna and massage table where Mario the Masseur (the Italian Daniel Craig lookalike) awaits you with a range of ideas to ease your troubles. (RJDstopit!). Including, but not restricted to, Shiatsu, Reiki, Aromatherapy and a good old-fashioned session of Pilates.
Better be quick though. Cammelia and some of the lady camels are batting their eyelashes at him....
Si.
Fifi, CtP and Izzy - big frugs to you all ((((((x))))))
Fifi - those young men are quite a friendly bunch aren't they. Though watch out for the one with THAT look in his eye; I wonder if he frequents a certain supermarket beginning with M (I didn't spot a tool belt though).
And am not one for hexxing but will send extra special goddessy vibes your way to help contend with Mr Obnoxious. Sweetness and light does tend to confound rotteness - its an obvious choice really! xx
C the P (264) Of course we'll help. if we can. That's what we're here for. ;o) What's the subject?
Izzy (265) Mis is very welcome. All we need do is give her lots of frugs, tell her to go skinny-dipping and then give her plenty of wine. She'll leave the Beach with a smile on her face ;o)
Hang in there, Izzy........my daughter is in the same position as you. She has her last exam tomorrow. She's staying in London next week, so she's there for the Ball, and she's going to spend the week catching up on all the museums and galleries that she somehow ''forgot'' to see during the last 3 years!!
Si - you are a dear, what did you have to do to conjure all that lot? No, don't tell me, just let me nip behind the dunes and take advantage (rjdstoppit).
Fifi - I hope you remembered to clean the moustache off, mascara under your eyes in the morning is a bad enough look, but down your chin? mixed with red wine stains? Credibility Rating nul points, I'd say ;o)
Does anyone have some parsley about their person btw? Having got carried away on a certain chatcam yesterday evening, I couldn't be bothered throwing a proper meal together for myself, so ate some left over potato salad, more than is good for you's worth of mixed olives, small tub of houmus and about two-thirds of a box of Pr*ngles (Lite). Grooogh. The only upside is that there wasn't a bottle of wine open, and it seemed way too decadent to open one for just-me. So, mouth tasting like the bottle of a birdcage, but no hangover!!!
Morning all!
Frugs to everyone in need of them this morning {{{{{{{**}}}}}}}
To help cheer everyone up I've put some toasted English muffins, with unsalted butter and a selection of preserves, on the bar at Nick's.
Ooooh, those petunia's look like they need watering...
;o) []
Gillian @ 250
....it wasn't me.....honest poppit
Fifi - I'm with witchi on the sweetness and light thing. Charm the pants off him, which I know you're capable of doing (although obviously not literally, because he doesn't sound like a Sean, Johnny, Daniel or George). We'll be sending many positive thoughts your way.
My SO's usual tack in handling difficult people is to ask them if they think their position is "reasonable" and to explain why. They usually get themselves tangled in knots while you just sit back and watch. I've used it myself a couple of times and it's remarkably successful :)
(((((((hugs)))))))) to everyone who has exams to sit or papers to write. I've put a chocolate fudge cake on the bar for break times. It's under a clean tea-towel though, because I don't want the camels to spot it......
Belinda - hope you're listening in and enjoying the conversations - lots of hugs and positive thoughts to you too, love.
xx
I am sorry to hear about your present troubles, Fifi. You use words like "delegate" and "'my' organisation鈥 which suggests to me that you are not alone in the village going through this. Even if he has been able to bully the others, they are going to back you all the way. I would suggest that you use that to your advantage. If there are things that you can delegate them to do outside the meeting then use their support. If you want to have a rant at someone, invite some people around for a cup of tea or something. They understand the situation much better than we can and may be able to offer advice or suggest other approaches that you can take. Even though you are one, do not try to be a Wonder Woman in this situation; look to get as much support from others as you can. That includes on the Frog as well, of course, although if you want to rant here, please remind us what you are ranting about as some of us have minds like tea-bags (grey stuff on the outside rather than the inside). This chap sounds like a real life Troll and you know the Frog ethic on Troll treatment. If you can, keep that at the back of your mind when you are dealing with him. Finally, have some hugs from me {{{{Fifi}}}}.
H.
Morning all.....
Hugs to all in need - especially Fifi with your little troll ((((((((x))))))) and to all those in the middle of exam/revision hell..
Can anyone of you help I wonder (there are lots of wise heads out there so I am sure you can). Its actually a very trivial problem! My daughter's lovely little pink cotton ballet top was covered in apple juice and in my haste when we got home last Saturday I threw it in the laundry basket and forgot about it and I did a light load last night - by which time it was covered in horrible mould spots. Is there any sure fire way of getting rid of them or will it have to be consigned to the duster/car wash cloth drawer???
Have brought a basket of muffins for anyone who's peckish - do tuck in.
Now, if you don't mind I'm just off for a nice aromatherapy message from the lovely Mario.......
bye for now x
Fiona @ 274
re: mould....have u tried Vanish?
Fiona - Have you tired any of those clever spray on stain- removers? I've been using B*o T*x & it seems to get most marks out , may take a couple of washes. Or you could try soaking it in napisan (any nappy cleaner would probably work) for a day or two, then do the spray treatment & wash. Worth a try anyway!
Hello everyone...yes, I am still alive.
Sorry for recent absence. I am told it makes the heart grow fonder but, to be honest, my heart appears unchanged - actually, if anything, it seems a little more clogged.
Busy trying to write an application for a job that I know I probably won't get and doesn't pay enough anyway. I used to be such a sensible person...
Goodness, is that the time?
Fiona - I'd give it a soak it a good soak in e*over bleach then wash again. Bicarb may be an option too - worked great on my grouting! :)
Yay!! another strapline - I ought to challenge someone to a strap-off....if only i had a piece of parsley about my person!!!
n-n
xx
Well my dears, just back from the Hice, came across a nice hat cloth, and guess what, a lovely fudge cake underneath, well, we couldn't have that goin' orf in the sun, so the boys and I et it. Yummy. Now where's my bat, there's a rather tasty Italian lurking over there.....
Cammelia, Lady Dromedary - I fear my Lady that you have been duped by some beach residents who have of late, taken great exception to the purloining of foodstuffs from the bar. Had I known that you were returning from the Hice I would have communicated this fact to you.
I fear that the next few hours may prove a mite incommodious for yourself and the boys. The fudge cake was, I'm afraid, liberally laced with what I can only describe as a quite powerful evacuant.
For decency's sake I would advise a swift retreat to the dunes at the South end of the beach.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
*sob*
*sniffle*
*pout*
I just pop my head above the revision dune for a cup of mint tea and a slice of that lovely fudge cake that Perky brought only to find it's been snaffled......
*sniff*
Thanks for all the frugs and wishes, they help, they really do.
Gillian - good luck to your daughter, hope she enjoys a guilt free trip around London after today.
Back to it then, I guess, with my miserable cup of tea and half a crumb that was lurking on the plate......
Too late old son, those hammocks came in ever so handy- and the sun hat .... sory about that
And in truth it wasn't so bad as some of the stuff we have to digest in the other place... however, what intrigues us is the inference that we are not welcome at the beach bar. You may be unaware of a recently, little lauded piece of legislation called the CDA - Camel Discrimination Act, making it a statutory requirement to make ALL reasonable adjustments to make us camels happy. This came out under cover of Ms Hewit's vote of confidence, slipped silently under the overwhelming roars of support for the dear girl. I expect she'll be elevated to join us soon. Such a warm welcome awaits.
Hoy! I need the contents of that hammock..
Phew, RJD - Luck escape then......
I can't imagine you got Perky involved - you must have sabotaged it during the day. Hmmm, how sneaky.
So there I was, striding purposefully over Southwark Bridge at lunchtime, ringing my S.O. to say my meetings had finished early and I'm on my way home.
"Did you hear me on the radio then?" he enquired, trying to sound casual.
Turns out, his email about the proposed quick-fire planning system was read out on You & Yours today! I've just Listened Again, and it's peppered with name checks.
What's more, I used Windows On Your World to illustrate an idea I've had for a CPRE photo library ... if Pick'er (FRS) is good enough for Auntie, it's good enough for Kippery!
Ta muchly for the frugs, everyone. You have no idea how they are helping!
Normally 'sweetness and light' tends to win the day (or at least buy me survival to Round Two) but this guy is a piece of work!
The advice about 'do you think your position is reasonable?' is excellent .. ta, Perky. And Humph re spreading the grief around.
I am now so fired up with Moral High Ground and Supreme Good Manners that I can't wait for the wee creep to ring me!
But there's a large box of Syrah in the bar, for afterwards ... just in case, y'know!
Oh listen .. it's 5 o'clock. Wasn't there something I was supposed to be doing about now ---------------------????
Fifi ;o)
thanks for the helpful tips re mould stains. I popped out earlier and bought a st@in d*vil which apparantly is for mould and mildew, top is currently soaking in solution as we speak (or frog!)........ I will give you an update tomorrow (bet you can hardly wait eh??! I can almost feel the excitement and anticipation... LOL)
Toodle pip xx
Hi Jason Blacksheep - how's it all going?
nikki-noo - I did have some parsley, but I ate it. Didn't want to frighten off Mario and his pals ;o) I wouldn't like to tell you what they were doing with their straps, but yours today is very good!
Witchi - does bicarb really work on grouting? No1 Son is having a flat inspection and went out and bought C*ll*t Bong for his - to no avail, and 拢3 out of student budget :o( Tbh, he may have been doing it as displacement therapy, instead of exam revision, he's not usually bothered by mouldy grouting!!
Izzy T'Me - I'm shocked that you would think I would be involved in such an underhand ploy especially one foisted on the esteemed Cammelia, Lady Dromedary.
My Lady, I hope, appreciates that had I known that she might come down from the Hice, I would have warned her of the appalling subterfuge that had been initiated.
Troll Update: from what I hear, it sounds as if he's working himself up to an all-out nuclear attack.
Suddenly my confidence has turned to jelly again.
Arrrrgh! Why me????
Fifi >:o(
Val: Its all going horribly wrong...
And Man City have managed to attract a heavily criticised deposed leader as potential investor (bad enough) and he's seemingly lost his crock of gold.
Advice please, froggers dear.
In just over a week I am due to travel with lovely aged mother on a cruise to Norway. Never having done one before I'm assuming that I should pack much as I would for the ferry and a holiday on Shetland. But I do remember friends having a holiday in Norway and saying it was really hot.
Do I pack shorts and tops, thick woolies or both? and is there a good website for checking the long range forecast for southern Norway?
Take several thin thermal vests and layer - and a waterproof, and good stout shoes with grip. Or, vast wads of kroner and taxi everywhere ashore, and stay in the bar on board.
xx
RJD - creep ;o)
Oh Fifi - poor you. (((frugs)))
Go back to that sage advice given yesterday and reassure yourself. The only other thing I can add is not to take it personally (it's not easy to do, but better for your peace of mind if you can). He's obviously a horrid person who enjoys hurting and annoying people in general.
I'll stop moaning about exams - they're nothing to what you have to put up with at the moment.
Izzy x
Now come on Feefs, you're made of sterner stuff than that freak of nature... show 'em all what you're made of... and bear in mind you've got a pondful of Faithful Froggers backing you up.
Try to imagine him sat on the loo with his trollies around his ankles - that should help to diffuse your stress. Just be careful it doesn't make you laugh in his face though or you might push him over the edge of his nasty little cliff.
Frugs (((Fifi)))
xx
I should have said earlier:
"Thank you" so much to all the Fronds (Froggy Friends!!) who have offered much appreciated support and frondship over this g*d forbidden coursework (AAAaaarrrggghhh)...
It's a Leadership & Development NVQ3; the SheWhale said "you do want to do it, DON'T YOU?"
"Yes Miss, of course Miss, straight away Miss, can I do 2 just to make sure miss?"
Pah.
Jason - that's not good to hear. I hope it's just a Man City problem and not all round all going horribly wrongness? Draw up a lounger and join me in this bottle of Full Fifteen?
C the P - Fronds, I love it!
I feel as though I've been away for weeks, which I suppose i have as life has been sooooooo busy recently and everyone has been frogging like mad and I can't keep up.
Hope you are keeping a straight backbone fifi, you will get the better of the 'orrible little man I am sure.
I am currently exhausted from fighting a certain big four bank ( not to name names, but one with oriental links ) in an effort to get it to give me some of my money back. I won't bore you with the details and I have to say that the problem with the endowment policy seems to be sorted, but what can you do with a a bank who,
when you ask if you can close an account you opened over twenty years ago, writes and says that it's not possible because the signature on the record and the signature on the closing instruction are different? Like people's signatures don't change in 20 years. But the best bit was the advice to take the enclosed form 'to my nearest branch' to get my signature verified. Obviously none of these people can be bothered to look at a map. I have written a very good letter and I'm waiting for a reply. But they're quick enough to take your dam**d money when that's the direction it's going.
btw do you nthink if we all shouted at Eddie and the team at the same time they would actually listen to the fact that we don;t wnat to hear another word about Big Brother.
AdminAnnie - good to hear from you again too! Re that certain bank, Mr Val P has been having doings with them too, re his Mum's affairs in England. They seem incapable of doing joined-up thinking!
you are quite right Val joined up thinking is exactly what they do not do!
anyway I'm off to bed, night all, hope to do a bit more frogging next week, and a LOT more beachcombing, if I can only keep the diary sort of clear.
admin annie - we're having exactly the same problem on behalf of father-in-law, with the same bank.
Bank wanted to confirm his existence as account hadn't been accessed for a while, but then refused to recognise his signature, which at 99 is no doubt more shaky than it once was. Awaiting reply to husband's letter requesting they visit him at home to confirm his existence since he is unable to pop in to his local branch to suit their convenience!