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Is it harder to be a disabled man or a disabled woman?

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Damon Rose Damon Rose | 14:07 UK time, Tuesday, 5 October 2010

... that's what Mat Fraser and Liz Carr are asking in our latest talk show -available to download and listen to right now.

Listen or subscribe for free to the Ouch! Talk Show

Without getting too 'graphic' here on the blog: sexuality, biology and machismo are the areas on which they touch.

can disabled guys be as 'commanding' and as 'tough' as men 'should be'? I hope you're appreciating all the apostrophes I'm diligently putting in here in order to distance the ³ÉÈË¿ìÊÖ from these ugly sweeping stereotypes. It's all true though, Liz said so.

Also featuring in Talk Show 56 is that disabled model Shannon Murray who has been splashed all over Debenhams stores. She helps Mat out with a burning question sent in by a listener who was keen to avoid making a wheelchair fashion faux pas.

All this and more in the first of this month's talk shows. We've doubled the number of shows we're putting out in October as a bit of an experiment. The next show is here in two weeks, so you don't have the usual month-long wait.

Tell your friends and colleagues to listen and subscribe for free to the show via this page. If you use iTunes you can do it with just one click and it'll be delivered to your computer or your iPod every time a new one arrives.

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    Wow, harder as a man or a woman. Equally hard I should imagine, or more to do with the individual than their gender.

    You could say that a man becoming disabled will have 'lost' their feeling of machismo and strength, the hunter, the fighter the big tough dude. But like I say, not all guys are like that anyway, so its very much an individual thing. Also it may feel different if you have an acquired disability rather than being born thus.

    As a woman with acquired disability, I for a long time felt I had lost my femininity, I used to walk with a graceful movement, hold myself well, dress nicely and was a bellydancer as well (in my opinion bellydance is the ultimate in feminine expression) I was the polar opposite of my husband who is the masculine, martial artist, tough dude and I liked it that way.

    Disability certainly took away my graceful walk, slumped my posture, made me wobbly, gain weight and lose interest in my appearance as it was hard enough getting dressed in anything let alone elegant clothes and trowelling on make up! My heart broke the day I lost bellydance to the pain. I want it back badly.

    Over time I gradually accepted my lot, now I may struggle to walk but I have a nice cane! I have found clothes that are comfy but still look good, simplified my makeup regimen too. I cant dance no, but i enjoy watching shows. I feel like a woman again, albeit a slightly different woman. Plus, my macho husband has softened slightly in his role as carer, and has started to help me dress, brush my hair, cook things and clean up - I wouldnt have believed that a few years ago!

    It just takes time to adjust I suppose, you are never what you once were, but maybe you are something better.

  • Comment number 2.

    I've certainly seen a lot more men with acquired injuries/impairments who have non-disabled partners than for those of us who were born with ours. Maybe it's because they look more "normal", for want of a better word? And let's not forget that many of us "Bornies" were never encouraged to see ourselves as sexual beings.

  • Comment number 3.

    Probably worse being a man, as out of a heterosexual couple they are statistically more likely to have the higher income, so any reduced capacity to work caused by disability will have more impact if it's the man who can't work...

  • Comment number 4.

    'It's all true though, Liz said so'
    I'd trust her with me smarties!

    pete
    Slower, weaker, lower

  • Comment number 5.


    Is it harder to be a disabled man or a disabled woman?

    Well, since nothing that can be changed about one's gender or one's disability, what is the point in discussing this.

  • Comment number 6.

    It's easier for a woman. People are more inclined to listen to them. It's a gender thing. Whether they get better help....... probably, as women will work together, men won't, it's a testosterone thing.. Half the issue is men won't ask for help. I've spent my adult life supporting my partner's needs and my child's, I rarely if ever ask for my need to be addressed. I suppose I do have them, but others are a priority in my view, and suggesting life is hard is met with utter ridicule online, so not worth mentioning unless you want to be called a moaner or a whiner day in and day out..... Female and fur OK anything else.... Like John Wayne said about apologising and asking for help, DON'T, it's a sign of weakness.

  • Comment number 7.

    My opinion is that it can be harder for both a disabled man and disabled woman.

    In my experience, think of all the things I have to do , being someone with a "hidden" impairment and one who calls herself "osteocrip" for a laugh , has to work long hours , when she gets tired easily, looks after her house , gets everything sorted, and makes mistakes and gets emotional when she has a bad day.

    Other than that I'm fine! LOL! ha! ha!

  • Comment number 8.

    All this user's posts have been removed.Why?

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    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

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    All this user's posts have been removed.Why?

  • Comment number 11.

    it mostly depend in which cultures you are living, are you living alone or with your family, matters alot.

    A man must have will and crytel clear goal what he want to do with his life.

    thx for sharing

    Mohammad Atif

    CEO
    [Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]

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